You're All That Matters To Me
by xEmerald Isle
Summary: Kyle is in love with Cartman. However, he doesn't think Cartman feels the same way. When a rumour spreads about Kyle's sexuality, he blames Cartman. When he also finds Cartman's art project, he is confused. Is Cartman planning something?
1. Chapter 1

_Hey, my gorgeous readers! ;D_

_I'm so sorry I've been so dead lately. I suck. _

_I already have this whole story written out but I need to type it up and go over it and edit and all that. And I'm still going to try my best to make it a good one._

_I really hope you enjoy it! :D_

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Love is a powerful thing. A very powerful thing. It has the ability to control your life, to control how you act, to control your heart.

A lot of people say love hurts but that's not entirely true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Not telling someone hurts. Keeping it all inside hurts. People get these things confused with love. But in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes someone feel amazing again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.

As gay as it might sound, I am saying this for a reason.

My name is Kyle Broflovski. I'm sixteen years old and I live in South Park, Colorado. I happen to be in love…

At first, I thought it was just my heart and mind playing tricks on me, messing with my head. I've known I was gay since I was about twelve but I never thought I would fall for a certain person who I've hated all my life.

I'm not even sure if that's possible… Is it really possible to fall in love with someone you truly hate? I mean, I still hate him but… I love him.

Now that, for sure, doesn't make any sense but that's just how I feel.

This person, whose name I'm reluctant to say, that I've fallen for… is Eric Cartman.

At first, I thought it was just a mere crush and that I'd get over it soon. But I was wrong.

I found him always on my mind, everywhere I went, whether he was there or not. Even in school, during lunch and classes, he was on my mind. My grades started to degrade since I couldn't pay attention in class. I got in a load of shit at home about it, from my mom especially, and I'm now grounded for two months. Harsh punishment…

My parents don't know why my grades are dropping, of course. I haven't told anyone about my love for Cartman, not even Stan, my super best friend. In fact, I haven't even told anyone I'm gay…

Anyway, back to my other point, I know this isn't just some stupid crush on Cartman. I don't think, if you have a crush on someone, that they're _constantly_ on your mind. But Cartman is.

Also, whenever I'm near him, or even at the sound of his voice or the mention of his name, my heart beats super fast. Even when I'm angry at him, his presence continues to make my heart race.

I still find it hard to believe my feelings for him. He hates me to no end and seems to enjoy angering me and hurting me. I bet his goal is to see me finally break down and cry, letting my heart tear in two in the process. He wants me to suffer, which is why he constantly rips on me for various reasons, the main one being my Jewish religion, and angers me to the very point I feel my head about ready to explode, which he'd enjoy very much.

He also really loves tricking me. He makes me think he's a friend when really he's thinking up some new evil plans and schemes to hurt, humiliate or anger me.

So anyway, to put it simply, he's a racist, intolerant, self-centered, manipulative sociopath. I would also mention he's fat but he's slimmed down quite a bit since we were kids. He's not thin but he isn't fat. He's broad but muscular and he isn't as chubby.

He's actually quite attractive. He has his mother's good looks. He's actually been asked out quite a number of times, though, for some unknown reason, he's rejected them all, including one of the hottest and most popular girls in school, Bebe Stevens.

She was in complete shock when he turned her down. She was never rejected before and now she hates Cartman with an absolute passion. She shoots him hateful glares from time to time but whenever she does, Cartman would simply smirk at her, unaffected at all by the hatred from her.

When people talk to him about this situation, he would simply state that he doesn't care if she hates him or not and that her feelings for him didn't matter.

I admire Cartman for that reason. He's so strong and confident and doesn't care what others think. If it was me in that situation, I'd definitely care.

There's a rumour going around the school at the moment that Cartman has a massive crush on Wendy Testaburger, Bebe's best friend and the school president. I really hope it's not true, though it possibly is.

Wendy's extremely hot, hotter than Bebe, and she has a really great personality. It's possible Cartman could like her, though I can't be sure.

There was another rumour going around the school about two months ago, again about Cartman, saying that he was gay since he rejected all the girls who asked him out. He found out that Craig started the rumour and so beat him up roughly and made him tell everyone it was all a lie and that Cartman was perfectly straight. Some people believed it but others still think Cartman is gay.

I, myself, am not too sure. It's true that Cartman has rejected all the girls who asked him out but that could be because he only has his eyes set out on one particular girl, Wendy Testaburger perhaps. Or maybe he is gay and doesn't want anyone knowing.

Either way, it doesn't matter. Cartman doesn't like me the way I like him so let's just leave it at that.

Though, despite everything, I can't help wonder… if there's a chance.

….

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_Hope you enjoyed that introduction. I'm going to try to update as soon as I can. Please try to be patient with me._

_Also, please leave a review if you can. It'd make me very happy :D_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hello. Sorry I took so long to update. I was away in Lanzarote and then I was busy. Forgive me. _

_I had a great time in Lanzarote though. I went scuba-diving for the first time. It was such an amazing experience. _

_Anyway, back to the story, since I don't want to bore you with my personal life._

_Enjoy, darlings!_

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I wake up early to the sound of my alarm clock ringing in my ears, almost deafening me. I groan, switch it off and then lie still, my eyes remaining shut and my body still wanting rest.

It's Monday morning, the start of yet another school week, to everyone's dismay. After a few extra minutes of needed rest, I force myself to stand and get ready for school.

I rub my tired eyes and groggily head to the bathroom before getting changed into my regular clothes. I decide against my hat today. It looks warm today, well, as warm as it can get for South Park, and I'd probably be sweating in it.

I don't always wear my hat anymore like I used to when I was a kid. I only wore it constantly when I was younger because of that stupid Jewfro I once had.

Last year I finally got it cut and let my red curls fall around my face and I decided not to wear my hat as much. I got a lot of compliments saying my hair looked a whole lot better this way and Kenny even told me it made me look sexy. I'm not sure if he was joking or not, but I was happy all the same.

After swallowing down two slices of toast and a warm cup of tea, I head out the front door. Stan, Kenny, Cartman and I still get the bus to school and we meet in the mornings at the bus stop each morning, just like old times.

It only takes me about fifteen minutes to reach the bus stop and when I do, I see Stan already there, waiting patiently.

"Hey, Kyle," he greets me as I approach.

"Hey," I greet in response, flashing him a smile before shrugging my schoolbag off my shoulders and onto the ground behind me.

"What did you do over the weekend?" Stan asks me.

I shrug. "Nothing really. Couldn't go out anywhere since I'm grounded so I just stayed in. You?"

"Hung out with Wendy," he replies.

Of course! Stan, now that he's a teenager, hangs out with his girlfriend more than before. He hangs out with her more than me these days.

I was quite offended at first but I've gotten used to it by now and could honestly care less.

"Here comes Kenny," Stan points out, and I look over my shoulder to see the blonde boy approaching us.

"Hey, Ken," I call, and he grins back.

"Hey, guys," he says once he's reached us. "What's up?"

We both shrug in unison.

"Nothing really," Stan answers.

"Same here," Kenny replies, shrugging off his backpack.

We stand there in silence for the next few minutes, each of us daydreaming about different things until a familiar voice ruins our train of thought.

"S'up, fags?" Cartman greets us, smirking in his usual manner at each of us before throwing his bag onto the ground.

"Hey, fatass," I reply, my usual response to his greeting.

"Kahl, are you blind?" he asks.

I'm confused at the question and so shoot him a questioning look, one eyebrow raised. "Uhh… what?"

"I'm not fat anymore, Jew," he briefly explains, rolling his eyes in exasperation. "You can't call me 'fatass' anymore."

I mimic his rolling eyes gesture. "Cartman, I can call you whatever the hell I want, whether it's true or not," I say, rolling my eyes a second time.

He smirks and I raise an eyebrow again in a questioning manner.

"So, you admit that I'm not fat?" he asks and I frown.

"I never said anything like that, dumbass," I state, groaning in irritation.

"No, but you were thinking it. And you know I'm not fat anyway so don't deny it," he says, smirking wider.

I roll my eyes a third time and decide to ignore him. He's so full of crap, yet I still love him.

The bus finally arrives and we hop on one at a time, Stan first, Cartman last.

As usual, Bebe glares at Cartman when she spots him and I hear him chuckle from behind me. Bebe's sitting on her own today and when I look around, I see Wendy sitting by herself near the back of the bus, her arms folded across her chest and a deep frown etched onto her face. I'm guessing she and Bebe had a fight.

Stan seems to notice too and he looks back over his and Kenny's shoulder to ask me if it's ok if he sits with Wendy today. I nod and he thanks me before taking a seat beside his girlfriend.

I sigh and sit down at a seat by myself. I expect Kenny and Cartman to sit together as usual but when I look, I see Kenny sitting down next to Bebe and chatting to her, clearly flirting with her.

I casually look to see where Cartman is but as soon as I look away from the two blondes, I see that said boy sits next to me, to my surprise.

"Jew," he greets me monotonously, without looking at me.

I stare blankly at him for a few seconds before looking away.

"Fatass," I mutter in response, gazing casually out the window. "Kenny ditch you for Bebe?"

I feel his eyes on me and I glance back at him, seeing him glaring at me. "What?" I shrug innocently. "I'm not trying to rub it in or anything. I'm just asking."

I flash him an innocent smile and he scoffs. "You know the god damn answer, Jew boy. You don't have to ask!"

He rolls his eyes and I ignore him and gaze out the window again.

There's nothing interesting outside so my mind begins to wander. Cartman is unusually quiet the whole way up and I find myself quite contented with the peace.

The bus finally stops and I wait for Cartman to move so I can get off but he walks extremely slowly down the aisle purposely to annoy me, a smirk on his face as usual.

"Cartman, will you fucking hurry up?" I yell, desperately trying to pass him, though the narrow aisle prevents me from doing so.

"Oh I'm sorry, am I going too slow for you, Jew?" he feigns innocence over his shoulder, smirking wider when I glare at him.

"Cartman, I swear, if you don't hurry the fuck up or move out of the way, I'll fucking kill you," I threaten him, resulting in a burst of laughter coming from the brunet boy, adding to my irritation.

"You're so stupid if you think you could win in a fight against me, Kahl. Look at you! You're a tiny little thing!"

He laughs louder and tears of joy appear at the corners of his dark brown eyes.

I glare hatefully at him and then sigh. I hate when people point that out to me. I'm small in height and have no visible muscles or anything. I look like a girl, according to a few people, Cartman being one of them, and it hurts to be told.

Cartman seems to notice the hurt on my face and stops laughing, but the smirk is still there.

"Aww, don't worry, Kahl. You may look like a girl but you're prettier than a lot of girls in our school. I bet loads of guys start eye-fucking you when they pass you."

He smirks wider when I stare at him in horror and then faces forward again and hops off the bus.

I'm pretty sure he was joking but I still write myself a mental note saying to pay more attention to guys when I pass them from now on!

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_Sorry that was such a boring chapter. The story does get better, I promise. Don't give up on me just yet!_

_Review please. xxx_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey, guys. SO sorry for the delay for this chapter. I really am sorry._

_I'll try to be quicker from now on. I promise._

_Anyway, how are you guys liking the new episodes so far? In my opinion, I think they're fucking amazing! I especially liked last week's episode about the Broadway musicals. Oh Randy Marsh, how I love you. XD_

_Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter! Leave a review afterwards please. Xx_

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As I walk through the entrance of the school, I instantly see Kenny pressing Bebe against two lockers and kissing her roughly, his hands placed on the lockers on both sides of her head, trapping her, though she probably wouldn't have moved away anyway. She looks like she's enjoying it.

I also see Stan by his locker with Wendy, chatting to her with both hands on her shoulders, a concerned look on his face.

I walk past them and reach my own locker. I put in my combination code and start taking out the books I need for the first few classes.

When I'm done, I shut the locker and lock it, and then lean back against it, wondering what to do. Usually Stan and I head to our first class together in the mornings, since we happen to be in the same first class every day of the week.

But Stan is still talking with Wendy and I don't want to disturb them, but I also don't want to walk to class by myself. I like to have someone to have a chat with as I walk to and from classes.

I exhale a sigh and gaze around absentmindedly until a familiar person catches my eye- Eric Cartman, of course.

He's a few yards away, leaning against a random locker and chatting to Heidi Turner, a pretty brunette girl in our grade. It catches my attention instantly since Cartman never talks to Heidi, not even in Elementary School, except for the time we had to do some stupid parenting assignment and the two got paired up together.

But he's talking to her at this very moment, for reasons I don't know.

For some reason, I find myself feeling jealous as I watch the two talking. Heidi's back is facing me so I can't see her face but by the way her head bobs up and down occasionally, I can tell she's laughing. And Cartman is grinning and also laughing occasionally, adding to my jealousy.

As I stare at them talking and laughing, my face feeling hot, I spot Cartman glancing at me, having spotted me staring, and I instantly look away, my cheeks reddening and my eyes wide with panic.

I feel Cartman's eyes still on me and I swallow nervously, finding myself sweating for a number of reasons.

I turn my head fully away from the pair and pin my eyes onto the floor, as if it's _so_ interesting. I feel other people's eyes on me as they pass, curious and confused, and I finally avert my eyes from the oh-so-interesting floor.

It's only when I look to my right that I realise Cartman is now standing directly behind me and I jump, startled.

Cartman smirks when I jump and I try to quickly mask my panic with a glare, though I fail miserably.

"Kahl, what are you doing?" he asks casually, an eyebrow cocked.

"I…I… uhh…" I trail off. Wow, great answer, Kyle!

I clear my throat before frowning up at him. "M-me? What are _you_ doing?" I ask, circling the question back to him.

"I'm not doing anything," he answers simply. "You were looking at me funny when I was talking to Heidi. Why?"

He gazes down at me curiously, waiting for an answer though I only stare blankly up at him.

"I…" I trail off once again, lost for words.

I avert my eyes for a moment before shutting them completely. I take a silent, but deep, breath before opening my eyes again. When my eyes are open again, Cartman is gone.

My eyes widen momentarily before I frown and look around for him. I spot him heading towards his first class with someone by his side. I think it's Clyde but I can't be sure. I guess he got bored with waiting for an answer from me.

I breathe a sigh of relief and start heading towards my own class, not caring anymore if I'm walking alone.

The rest of the day passes slowly. A few of my teachers are out so I have some free classes to study; only I can't study. Though I try to, I just can't. I keep finding myself daydreaming, mainly about Cartman. I'm not even sure why I think about him so god damn much. He's a stupid, racist, anti-Semitic, self-centered asshole who I should hate so much that I'd want to see him die. But of course, I don't. If he died… I'm not sure how I'd take it.

If _I_ died… I wonder how he'd feel. Would he scream and cry on his knees? No, definitely not.

Would he leave to cry in private and maybe refuse to come to my funeral but stay somewhere else and mourn for me alone? No, definitely not.

Would he even care? Hmm, not sure…

Would he laugh and celebrate? Most likely…

Although these things seem quite obvious, it still hurts to think about them. I mean, it hurts to know the one person you love would like nothing better than to watch you bleed and die, never to return again… It hurts more than anyone could ever realise.

"Kyle? You okay?"

A hushed voice breaks my train of thought and I look to my left to see Stan staring at me, looking concerned.

I flash him a smile to assure him I'm alright and nod to his question. "Yeah, I'm fine, dude."

He momentarily seems unconvinced but then returns my smile and continues to study. I stare down at the History book in front of me and try to learn, but as I focus on definitions, dates, famous wars and leaders, the words jumble up in my head and I don't know what I've just read.

I give up on trying to study and again let my mind wander onto Eric Cartman. My eyes, of their own accord, look back over my shoulder at the taller brunet boy sitting a few seats behind me in the middle row of seats.

His head is leaning on his palm and he's gazing around the room with a bored expression on his face, obviously not studying either. I trail my eyes over him curiously - his strong body, his broad chest, tough muscles, his handsome face, his soft lips, his messy brown hair, his sexy dark brown eyes…

I suddenly let out a gasp when I realise why I can see his eyes so clearly. He's looking right back at me!

I begin to panic as I see his eyes on me, a deep frown on his face and a questioning eyebrow raised. He mouths the words 'What the fuck are you looking at?' and I instantly look away and stare down at my History book in front of me, a deep blush staining my cheeks.

I feel his eyes still lingering on me for a few moments before he averts his gaze, to my relief.

I instantly dread it when the bell rings for the end of class because I know Cartman's going to want to talk to me and ask about me looking at him during class.

As soon as the bell rings, I throw my things into my schoolbag in a heap and rush towards the door, only to be blocked by none other than Cartman, who stands in front of me. I don't know how he managed to make it in front of me when he was sitting behind me, but it _is_ Cartman so I don't ask questions.

"Cartman, move it," I say, trying to scoot past him but he side-steps in my way again, blocking my path.

"No. I need to ask you something first," he replies and I stop trying to pass him. There's no way out.

"Alright. What, Cartman?" I ask gruffly.

He grabs my arm and leads me out of the classroom and onto an empty part of the hall where we can talk privately. I don't bother struggling or trying to escape his grip. What's the point? He's way too strong for me.

"Why the hell were you staring at me like that in class just there?" he asks, his eyes pinned on me, watching closely for my reaction.

I meet his eyes and frown up at him, hiding my panic and slight fear pretty well.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I ask, knowing it's a pretty stupid reply.

Cartman's eyes narrow and I can already see him starting to grow impatient. "You know damn well what I mean, Jew! Don't play fucking games with me!"

I glare up at him, matching his narrowed eyes and annoyed expression, and he growls in irritation.

"I didn't mean to fucking stare at you, Cartman, alright?" I snap. "I was just looking around because I was bored and then I started daydreaming. And I just happened to be staring at you while I was lost in thought!"

I think it was a pretty believable lie and I sounded quite convincing.

I watch closely for Cartman's reaction, checking to see if he believes me or not. I blink in surprise when a smirk suddenly appears on his face, for a reason unknown to me.

I frown in confusion. "What?"

"What were you daydreaming about, Jew?" he asks, a devious look on his face. "When you were daydreaming, your mouth was hanging open and you were practically drooling, and there was some sort of glint in your eyes, full of lust."

I instantly blush crimson and Cartman's smirk widens when he notices.

"You're fucking retarded, Cartman. I wasn't thinking about anything like that, okay?" I snap, unable to look him in the eyes any longer.

He chuckles lightly to himself and then leans in closer to me, so his mouth is right up against my ear, his hot breath tickling my skin.

"Well, who were you thinking about, Kahl?" he hisses in my ear, causing a shiver to run down my back. "Stan? Kenny?" He pauses before adding in a sly tone: "Me?"

Another shiver runs down my back and he chuckles in my ear before pulling back and smirking at me.

My cheeks feel as hot as an oven right now and I purposely avoid his eyes and stare down at the floor, blushing ferociously.

"Well, Kahl?" he asks, folding his arms across his muscular chest. "Who were you daydreaming about?"

I glare at the floor and am about ready to shout something at him when the bell suddenly rings for the next class, startling both of us momentarily.

I push past Cartman roughly and start heading for my next class, already hearing him come after me. He's in my next class too. God dammit!

"Kahl! Kahl, wait up!"

He soon reaches my side and I ignore his presence and focus my eyes straight ahead.

"What class do we have now, Jew?" he asks, and again, I ignore him.

He grows angry. "Kahl, answer me!"

No reply.

He loses it very quickly and pushes me roughly. I hit the row of lockers against the wall hard and fall to the ground in a daze, feeling my head whirling. I groan and clutch both sides of my head tightly, trying to stop everything from spinning.

After a couple of minutes, everything stops whirling and I can see clearly again. I instantly see three girls surrounding me and two girls behind them, shouting angrily at Cartman.

"Kyle, are you okay?" one of the girls - Red - asks me.

"Uhh… y-yeah, I'm fine," I reply, moving to stand up.

The three girls, who I now realise are Red, Annie and Bebe, help me to my feet.

I rub the back of my head to try and sooth the pain from where I connected with the row of lockers and then tell the three girls that I'm okay and thanks for helping me up.

I then approach Cartman being yelled at by Wendy and Heidi, and interrupt the argument.

"Uhh, Wendy, Heidi? It's okay. I can handle this. Thanks," I tell them, silencing their argument.

They nod and smile before leaving. I shoot Cartman a furious glare and he just stares back at me innocently, as if nothing happened.

"What the fuck was that for?" I shout, feeling ready to beat him to a pulp, though I probably wouldn't be able to.

He frowns and shrugs indifferently. "You were ignoring me, Jew," he answers simply, as if that explains everything.

"That doesn't mean you have to push me into a fucking locker, asshole!" I yell, fury building up even more now. My head is still throbbing and it just angers me that much more.

He shrugs again. "You were pissing me off," he says.

My anger intensifies and I glare hatefully at him, my hands now forming into fists, wanting desperately to connect one of them with the side of his face.

I force myself not to and instead just roughly push past him, heading towards class, even though I'm already late for it. He grunts when I push past him and I feel his eyes on my back, glaring.

He only hesitates for a few seconds before running after me, reaching my side in seconds.

"Jeez, Kahl, don't tell me you got more sand in your vagina just cause I pushed you into a few lockers," he says.

I glare at him again and he smirks. "Cartman, if you don't shut up right now, I'll fucking kill you," I warn him.

He only scoffs at that and laughs, but shuts up anyway.

We head up to class and, as expected, the class are already inside and the lesson has started. I hesitate outside the door and Cartman bumps into me before moving back quickly, embarrassed.

"What are you waiting for?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"We're going to get in a load of shit since we're late," I say anxiously, forgetting about our fight for the moment.

"So what do you want to do?" he asks. "Go in or skip class?"

I smile and glance at him, thinking he's joking. When I see the serious look on his face, my smile fades and I raise my eyebrows in shock. "We can't skip class! We'll be caught!"

He exhales a sigh, rolling his eyes while doing so, and shakes his head. "No we won't, Kahl," he replies.

By the look on his face, I can tell he's telling the truth… I think.

I feel nervous as I consider both options. Then a frown suddenly appears on my face. "Hold on a sec! Why am I even considering this? You just pushed me into a row of lockers and then still continued to piss me off, and didn't apologize. Why would I skip class and go with you?"

I reach my hand out to grab the doorknob but Cartman grabs my arm and I instantly freeze.

I look up and meet his eyes accidentally, causing my heartbeat to unwillingly accelerate.

"Come on, Kahl. I don't want to skip by myself. It's boring without company, so boring that I'm willing to take even _you_ along." He smirks before adding softly: "Just come with me. Just this once."

My mind reflects on what he just did to me minutes ago and a little voice inside me head tells me not to go with him and just go to class and make up some excuse for being late.

But my heart says to go with him. It's beating super fast right now and I blink in surprise at the abnormal speed of it.

Well my parents always say that if you have to make a tough decision, to always follow your heart. So that's what I'll do. Though honestly, if they knew about this particular situation, I'm sure they'd tell me to choose otherwise.

Anyway, putting that aside, I'll continue to go with my heart.

"Alright, fine! I'll go with you, fatass," I say, pretending to be annoyed by the situation though I can't help grinning at the excited thought of skipping class with Cartman.

He returns my grin, a look of joy seeming to cross his face momentarily before it quickly vanishes. He releases my arm, which I forgot he was still holding, and gestures for me to follow him in silence.

I nod and push the memories of what he just did to me to the back of my mind so I can try and have fun with the larger boy, for once.

He leads me past all the classrooms quietly and through the halls until we reach the back door. Cartman opens it as quietly as possible and gestures for me to go first. I shoot him a grateful smile before slipping outside, hearing him following close behind, closing the door quietly behind the two of us.

I breathe a sigh of relief as I hear the familiar sound of the door closing. We made it outside without being caught. Phew!

Cartman chuckles at my relieved expression and I laugh in response.

"Come on," he says, and I follow him out to the front gates of the school, where we fully exit the school grounds.

"Where will we go?" I ask.

Cartman shrugs. "There's nowhere to go when you skip school in this fucking town," he grumbles.

I glance around at our surroundings, thinking hard. A thought soon comes to me. "We could go to the basketball court and play a little one-on-one," I suggest, grinning.

He briefly returns my grin before a smirk takes over. "Okay. You do know you're gonna get your ass kicked though, right?"

My eyebrows rise, feigning surprise. "Oh really? Well let's just see then, shall we?"

I smirk back at him before I start to pick up my pace and I'm eventually jogging down the road, heading in the way of the old familiar basketball court, which I haven't been to in a long time.

Cartman only hesitates for a moment before I hear footsteps behind me and he is soon jogging by my side. We exchange challenging grins before increasing our speed and racing down the road, challenging each other.

I thought I'd easily be a faster runner than Cartman but it turns out I was wrong. He's fitter than I thought and since his legs are longer than mine, he can take larger steps than me.

I find it hard to outrun him but he also finds it pretty difficult. I may be small but I'm quick.

After a few minutes of non-stop racing, we finally reach the court and slow to a halt inside. A draw.

"Wow," I mutter, panting heavily and gasping for air. "Tha-that was fun."

I bend down and rest my hands on my thighs while trying to regain my breath. Cartman's also breathing heavily, just as much as me.

"Yeah," he replies breathlessly. "Y-you're faster than I… thought, Jew."

I look up at him, grinning. "Th-thanks. You too."

Cartman slowly starts walking towards the bench and sits down on it, catching his breath easier.

I hesitate for a moment before following him and taking a seat next to him, making sure not to be too close to him, and also try to catch my breath.

We sit in silence for a good five minutes before we both finally manage to get our breaths back. Then Cartman stands and picks up the basketball that's always left here and throws it in the basket, punching the air in triumph when it goes in.

"Nice one," I comment, before getting to my feet and grabbing the ball off him.

"Nice one? That was an _awesome_ one, not just a nice one!" he retorts, his eyebrows raised.

I ignore him and take a shot of my own, hoping to remove that smug grin off his face. The ball circles around the net and I think it's going to fall through the net but instead it falls off the edge, causing my hopeful face to fall.

Cartman laughs out loud and I shoot him a glare. "Shut the hell up, fatass."

He stops laughing and rolls his eyes at the name, and I smirk, knowing how much he hates that insult, especially since he isn't even that fat anymore. Still, he'll _always_ be a fucking fatass to me.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Jew, to choose a new god damn nickname?"

"Yeah yeah, whatever," I reply, picking up the ball and passing to him without warning.

He realises the ball is coming for him just in time and catches it just before it hits his face, flashing me a glare before taking a shot. It doesn't get in this time and I chuckle.

"Shut up, Jew, and take your shot," he snaps, shoving the ball into my arms, causing it to smack against my chest hard.

I frown, but don't comment, and take a shot, missing it again. Cartman takes his turn and gets it in, smirking as he retrieves the ball and hands it to me.

"This isn't fair! You're taller than me so it's easier for you to score!" I complain, pouting a little childishly.

He shrugs indifferently. "I guess that could be true. So I guess I do have the advantage in this game."

I glare at the ball in front of me before moving to take a shot. Before I can throw it, I suddenly shriek as I'm suddenly being lifted in the air, by what, I don't know.

I shriek again and look down. I'm surprised to see Cartman holding me up, with ease I might add, wearing a large grin on his face.

"Ah! Cartman, put me down!" I cry, grasping one of his hands holding my waist with my free hand while I hold the ball in the other.

"Why? You were just complaining that I have the advantage since I'm taller. So now you're taller than me. Why are you complaining?" he replies, raising an eyebrow.

"B-but I-"

"You won't fall," he interrupts me, already knowing what I was about to say. "I got you, Jew. Don't be such a pussy."

I frown at that but my heart tells me to trust him so I do.

I hesitate a few moments before slowly releasing his hand and placing both my hands on the ball. I gulp nervously before slowly lifting it up and throwing it.

I watch in amazement as the ball flies through the hoop, barely touching the edges.

Forgetting my fear for a moment, unintentionally, I punch the air with my knuckles in triumph, using both my hands.

When I feel Cartman's hands tighten on my waist, holding me steady, my fear returns and I grip onto his hands with fright, not enjoying the thought of falling onto the hard concrete ground.

I silently, mentally beg Cartman to put me down and, as if he can read minds, he gently and carefully places me back onto my feet.

I don't have my balance for a while and so fall backwards as soon as my feet touch the ground, landing safely in Cartman's arms. He pushes me back onto my feet almost immediately and holds me steady by the shoulders until I can stand by myself again.

"Jesus, Jew, it's like you're fucking drunk or something," he says, releasing my shoulders.

I chuckle nervously, only realising now that there's a dark blush staining my cheeks. This is what happens when Cartman touches me like that!

"So what? No 'thank you' for helping you score a basket, and then for preventing you from falling when I could have easily dropped you on purpose and laughed my head off at your glorious pain?" Cartman asks, raising an eyebrow.

I sigh. I hate thanking Cartman for things but I guess he does deserve it.

"Thanks," I say, flashing him a grateful smile.

He returns a smile before smirking. "You know, you should really thank me more often for stuff, Jew. It's good to hear you appreciate the things I do for you."

I stare at him incredulously and he chuckles in response. "Cartman, this is probably the only nice thing you've ever done for me!" I reply, folding my arms across my chest.

"What? No it's not!" he cries in disagreement. "I've done loads of nice things for you, Kahl!"

I think he's joking for a moment but by the look on his face, I'm guessing he's serious.

I raise an eyebrow. "Alright, name three nice things you've ever done for me, not including this one," I say, smirking, dying to hear this.

He also crosses his arms and frowns. "Fine," he says, agreeing to the challenge. Well _I_ call it a challenge, since I think it is tough to answer, coming from him.

He thinks for a moment. "Well I… I-I got us to go to Magic Johnson when we both had AIDS! If I didn't say we should go to him, we'd either still have AIDS now or we'd be dead."

I think it over before frowning. "Yeah but that could have just been for yourself. You probably wouldn't have cared if I didn't get cured."

He shakes his head. "Not true, Kahl. If that was true, I would have went to see Magic myself and not taken you along."

"No because I threatened to break your Xbox so you _had _to take me along," I add, recalling the unforgettable memory.

He frowns. "God dammit, Kahl! I _did_ care, alright?"

He looks annoyed and, although I don't believe he'd really care if I'd been cured or not, I pretend to believe him. I'm not in the mood to start an argument.

"Alright fine, that's one. Another one?" I ask.

He thinks for a while and while he thinks, I take another few shots at the basket, missing them all miserably.

Cartman's too deep in thought to notice, to my delight. He'd rip on me otherwise.

"Well," he suddenly speaks up, grabbing my attention. "There was the time when you were almost killed by Manbearpig and I saved your life. If I wasn't there at that moment, you wouldn't be here right now," he says, and I freeze, staring at him incredulously.

Wow, I forgot about that.

"Alright, but there's no more," I say, though I'm beginning to have my doubts.

He begins to think again and I continue playing. I take a few more shots, missing all but one, and then start dribbling the ball around Cartman, impatiently waiting for his answer. I see him start to get frustrated and he shoots me a glare.

"Kahl, how am I meant to concentrate if you keep making noise and moving around me like that?" he asks, clearly annoyed.

I shrug innocently, then add, "By magic."

He rolls his eyes at the stupid answer to his rhetorical question and continues to think while I move away from him, taking more shots.

"I know!" he finally cries after another couple of minutes, startling me. I drop the ball and face him, interested.

"When you and your family moved to San Francisco and I went there and saved you from the smug storm! That was good," he says, grinning.

I stare blankly at him, my eyebrows raised and my eyes widened.

His smirk suddenly fades and a look of confusion spreads on his face. "W-what?"

"That was you?" I whisper quietly, too shocked to speak any louder.

Suddenly something seems to click inside his brain and he clamps his hand over his now open mouth in shock. "Holy shit! I… I forgot you didn't… I mean… I-"

He shakes his head in disbelief and shuts his eyes, exhaling a sigh of exasperation.

"Cartman, you've already said it now so there's no point trying to deny it or whatever. Tell me the full story," I say, finding my voice again, eying him curiously.

He removes his hand from his mouth and stares at me, thinking hard, probably debating whether or not to tell me what I want to know.

He finally sighs in defeat. "Alright fine, you nosy Jew-rat."

I don't comment on the insult. I don't want to side-track him. I just wait for him to begin.

He sighs again and inhales a quick breath before speaking, still seeming annoyed at himself for letting that slip.

"Well," he begins. "When you first moved away to San Francisco… I was happy. I thought my life would be perfect…" He pauses and looks away from me, off to the side, a faraway look on his face. "It was Stan who told me that without you to rip on all the time, my life would be meaningless. I didn't believe him at first because I had Butters to rip on, but it just wasn't the same."

He glances back at me, his eyes meeting my curious ones, his expression unreadable. "So I went to San Francisco just before the storm truly hit and saved you and your family."

There's complete silence for the next few minutes while I let his words sink in and then I gaze back at him.

"S-so… you saved me and my family because you needed me to rip on?"

He nods, though that faraway look reappears on his face, and I start to think he's not telling me something. I decide to forget about it and I flash him a smile, to which he responds with a surprised expression and a cocked eyebrow.

"What's with the smile?" he asks, confused.

"Thanks for saving me, Cartman," I reply, feeling a warm fluttery feeling in my chest as I continue to smile at him. "Thanks so much. If I'd known you'd done that earlier, I would have been a whole lot nicer to you since then."

My smile slowly fades and I blink in sudden confusion as Cartman suddenly shoots me a hateful glare, despite the fact I just said something nice to him.

"Uhh, Cart-"

He suddenly grasps my shoulders tightly and pushes me right back against the fence surrounding the court, leaning in close to glare at me, our eyes locked on the other's. I stare blankly at him, wanting to hide my sudden fear but knowing I'm failing. I can hear my heart racing quickly inside my chest and I pray that he can't hear it too.

"Cartman, what the-"

"Don't you fucking get it, Jew?" he asks, his voice angry and low, causing a shiver to run down my back. "Why do you think I kept it a secret all these years? Because I knew that if you knew I saved your life, you'd act nicer towards me. That's exactly what I didn't and **don't** want! I only saved your life because I need you to rip on. There's no other reason! I don't want you to act nice to me! Don't you get it?"

I nod quickly, eager for him to release me, and he instantly stops talking. He continues to glare at me for another few seconds before he steps back, releasing my now sore shoulders, and mutters something quietly to himself before taking a few steps away from me, his eyes anywhere but on me.

Though I'm now free from his tight grip and capable of movement again, I don't. I remain where I am, frozen and staring blankly at Cartman.

I feel both surprised and hurt, as well as a little scared. Surprised because he became angry so quickly after being in such a good mood.

And hurt because Cartman hated the idea of me being nice to him. Any hints, ideas or thoughts that Cartman maybe likes me back all disappear suddenly, and I know for certain that he truly hates me, or at least doesn't like me the way I like him.

It hurts… Though I knew it was probably that way anyway, it still delighted me to even have a spark of hope that he maybe liked me back. Now all hope is gone. Eric Cartman hates me, and that won't ever change…

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

_Did you like it? Please leave a review whether you did or not! xx_


	4. Chapter 4

After another few minutes on the basketball court, the two of us return to school in silence, not even looking at each other. All the way up, I feel a heavy sinking feeling in my chest and I so badly want someone to comfort me.

I need Stan right now. He's the only true friend I have who I can go to whenever I need him, such as this moment right now. I need him to cheer me up. I need my super best friend right this minute, before I end up crying my eyes out right in front of our class (once we get inside) and right in front of Cartman.

I keep my head low as I head to the next class with Cartman. Just before I open the door to head inside, Cartman grabs my arm and pulls me to the side, away from the door. I blink in surprise but don't struggle or argue as he pulls me away.

I lean back against the wall as he stands in front of me, his eyes pinned on me. I don't dare lock eyes with him. I look over his shoulder, at nothing in particular.

"Listen, Kahl. I know you're upset, okay? I'm sorry you're sad because I saved your life just so I can continue to rip on you and to hate you. But unfortunately for you, that's the way it is. I didn't save you for any other reason. I don't care about you in the slightest, okay? You're going to have to deal with it. I don't know what you think of me as, but to me, you're nothing but a Jewish rat who I hang out with and who was only born for me to rip on. You're nothing else to me."

I stare at him, not looking directly into his eyes, forcing myself not to cry, though it's difficult. There's a huge lump in my throat that's almost forcing me to shed tears. But I fight against it. That's me, Kyle Broflovski, the fighter.

Cartman's eyes linger on me for a few more seconds, watching for my reaction, before he finally turns and heads towards the door of the classroom.

I don't budge. I stay in the same spot, gazing at the exact spot where Cartman's eyes were moments ago, imagining he's still there, in front of me.

"Kahl?"

I blink and slowly look to my left, seeing Cartman standing outside the door and giving me an annoyed look, waiting for me.

"If you don't hurry up, I'll go inside without you and you'll be late," he says.

I exhale a quiet sigh. I'm the one who put him in a bad mood in the first place. Wow, I suck.

I take a silent deep breath before forcing myself to follow him inside, still trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to escape…

I sit at an empty seat at the back of the room, nowhere near any of my friends. There's a spare seat beside Stan but I don't sit there. There's still a lump in my throat and I can't seem to talk. I'll only end up crying if my friends start talking to me.

I don't concentrate for the whole class and am thankful that Mr Dalton doesn't ask me any questions today, possibly noticing that I'm upset, or maybe I'm just lucky. All I've been doing for the whole class is trying to hold myself back from crying.

I feel a lot of eyes on me during the class and I've no idea what the expression on my face looks like.

It's soon the end of class and I slowly rise from my seat, slowly following the rest of the class out of the room, my head hanging low.

As soon as I'm out of the classroom, Stan and Kenny practically attack me with questions.

"Dude, what's wrong? You look really upset."

"Kyle, where were you last class?"

"Why do you look so down, dude? You look like the world's about to end."

"Is it something to do with Cartman?"

I wince at his name and my friends notice.

"I knew it!" Stan cries. "What did that fatass do to you this time?"

"Yeah. We'll kick his ass!" adds Kenny, balling his hands into tight fists for emphasis.

I just shake my head, unable to speak.

"What? Why not? He obviously hurt you bad. We gotta teach him a lesson," says Kenny, staring at me curiously.

I just shake my head again and weakly push past them, heading to my next class which, thankfully, Cartman's not in.

I feel both Stan and Kenny's eyes boring into the back of my skull as I walk before they both come after me, reaching my sides.

"Kyle, you should really tell us what's wrong. You look really depressed and you look like you're about to cry," Stan says softly.

I ignore him, and continue to walk ahead. It's weird. Not too long ago, I was hoping for Stan to be here, so he could cheer me up and comfort me. But now that he's here, I want him to leave me alone. I want peace.

After more questions and words to try to convince me to talk, my two friends finally decide to leave me alone, thankfully. I head to the next class alone; none of my friends are in this one with me, and I wait outside with the rest of the class until Mr Graham arrives.

-/-/-/-

The rest of the week passes at an extremely slow pace. I haven't been myself at all since that day on the basketball court with Cartman. Everyone seems to have noticed.

Stan and Kenny have approached me a good few times after that day, again just being good friends and trying to get some information out of me in order to help me.

But I haven't said anything to them. It's not that I don't trust them or anything. Of course I do. They're my best friends, especially Stan. It's just that… even though I'm annoyed at Cartman for hurting me like that, I just don't want Stan and Kenny to hurt him, even if he _does_ deserve it. I'd rather just have peace and mope around like a normal teenager does. Yes, I know how depressing that sounds but really, this is what happens to every teenager. We all get around to that stage where we get hurt by the person we love. Though usually it's a guy getting hurt by a girl or a girl getting hurt by a guy. In most situations anyway. You rarely hear of gay people's love stories and dramas.

Anyway, back to reality and out of my ridiculous mind. So for the past week, I've been really quiet around everyone - my family, friends, and classmates. I'm usually that one smart kid in every class who always gives answers to every question. But I've been reasonably silent except for a rare time here and there. I guess that means even the teachers are noticing me acting differently too.

I don't know why exactly I'm acting this way. I know I'm overreacting. Cartman's always hated me and I've known that. So why, when he just _proves _it to me, do I actually feel really depressed? I knew he hated me even before then.

And yes, it was a shock when I found out about him saving me from San Francisco years ago. But it really shouldn't be a shock to find out he only did it because he needed me to rip on. This is Eric Cartman we're talking about. That's how his mind works. I shouldn't be surprised and I sure as hell shouldn't be freaking upset about it! What's wrong with me?

I know I've been acting really retarded for the last week but even though I know I have, I can't seem to snap out of it. I'm upset and hurt, and even though I know it's probably for a stupid reason, I still am. And I can't help it.

It's now Thursday, a week or so after that day on the basketball court. Lunch arrives after the classes seem to drag on for what seems like days and I slowly head to the cafeteria, Stan and Kenny on one side of me, chatting away to each other, leaving me out of it, to my gratitude.

When we reach the cafeteria, we sit down at our usual table and start eating. I stare down at my lunch but don't touch it. I'm too upset to eat.

Only about five minutes pass before Cartman arrives and sits at our table, opposite me.

"Hey, fatass," the other two greet him. I don't even look at him. In fact, I've tried my best not to look at him since that day. It'd only hurt and annoy me more.

"Stan, Kenny, Jew," he addresses us, before starting to eat.

I absentmindedly play with my salad with my fork, feeling as sad as ever.

I finally hear a loud sigh and I look up to see Cartman staring at me, a deep look of both concentration and irritation on his face as he studies me silently. I only stare back at him, no sign of emotion on my face.

He exhales another sigh before pushing his food tray away from him and standing up. "Come on, Kahl," he says, gesturing for me to follow him.

I blink at him dumbly, as if I didn't understand him.

He growls. "Kahl, come on. We need to talk."

"About what?" asks Stan suddenly, a look of concern on his face. I can tell from the look on his face that he's worried Cartman might hurt me more and as my super best friend, he's not going to let that happen.

Cartman ignores him and gestures for me to follow again. I mentally exhale a sigh before slowly rising to my feet and walking towards him. Stan makes a move to follow but I gesture for him to stay with my hand, not wanting him to worry. He sits back down reluctantly, though still with a deep frown on his face, eying Cartman suspiciously. Cartman says nothing about it. He grabs my arm and drags me out of the cafeteria, over to a spot in the corridor that's quiet and deserted.

"Kahl, we seriously need to talk," he says, pushing me in front of him before releasing my arm.

I stare at him, waiting for him to continue.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he suddenly cries, startling me a little. "You've been moping all week! I don't even know you anymore. You've barely said one word to anyone, including the teachers, and you're worrying everyone, especially Stan and Kenny. I'm not worried about you at all but you're seriously pissing me off! You don't respond to any of my insults, no matter how bad they are. What the hell is wrong with you?" he cries, throwing his arms up in exasperation.

I shake my head helplessly. He has no idea how much he's hurt me.

He groans in irritation and looks off to the side for a few minutes, trying to calm himself down.

When he seems calm again, he looks back at me, an unsure look on his face. "Kahl, just tell me what's wrong, alright?"

I continue to stare at him before finally deciding to try to speak. I clear my throat multiple times, seeing that Cartman is watching me closely, waiting.

"I…" I clear my throat a few times. "I-I'll tell you," I manage to say, delighted I can find my voice again.

I see him roll his eyes in annoyance, clearly because I just pointed out the obvious that I was going to tell him.

I clear my throat once more before I think my voice is okay again.

"What's wrong… is you," I say, and Cartman blinks in surprise, cocking his head to the side in confusion.

"What the hell do you mean?" he asks, frowning.

"I mean, you hurt me. I thought we were actually pretty good friends and we were having fun on the basketball court but you just had to ruin everything and hurt my feelings. Don't you have any heart at all? How do you even have the nerve to hurt people like that? You just ruin everyone's good mood by insulting them or saying something like how you only saved my life so you could continue ripping on me! Do you know how much that hurt me, Cartman?"

I stare at him, eyes hard, while he stares back, allowing my words to sink in.

"No, Kahl. I don't know. But I'm guessing I hurt you bad, but I don't understand it. Why are you so upset about it? Surely you knew I hated you so why does it hurt when I say it?"

I don't answer. I can't. If I did, I'd have to tell him how I feel about him… that I love him.

I just shake my head, as if shaking off the anger and hurt I'm feeling, and walk off, not back to the cafeteria but wherever my legs take me. Cartman's eyes are still on me as I walk. I can feel them.

I reluctantly glance back over my shoulder and see that I'm right. Cartman's staring intently at me, his eyes never leaving me, his expression unreadable.

I force myself to look straight ahead again and I jump in fright when I see Mr Riordan suddenly standing in front of me, glaring down at me. He's the school principal and he's extremely strict.

"And what, may I ask, are you doing wandering around the school when you're meant to be eating in the cafeteria?" he asks, close to shouting.

"Um… I-I was just with-"

I turn around to point at Cartman but am shocked to see that he's gone. That stupid asshole abandoned me!

I face the principal again and sigh. "I'm sorry, sir."

"Sorry isn't enough! You have no excuse to disobey the school rules. You will have detention today after school for an hour and a half."

"But-"

"No complaints!"

With that, he walks away, leaving me to stare dumbfounded after him, my mouth hanging slightly open. I have detention! I have fucking detention, and Cartman doesn't. That's so unfair! Cartman's the one who dragged me out of the cafeteria! God, he's such a-

"Hello, Kahl."

Ugh, speak of the devil. I turn around and see Cartman heading towards me, smirking. I stare at him. Just a few moments ago, he was expressionless and now his usual smirk is back on his face. I think I'd rather the blank look.

"What the fuck, Cartman? I have detention today and it's all your fault!"

"That's better, Kahl. Stay like that. Be angry with me. It's good to see you as yourself again."

I glare hatefully at him, watching with added fury as his smirk widens. He thrives on my anger. This is delighting him! That sick asshole…

"I hate you, Cartman! I hate you so fucking much!" I cry.

"Good, Kahl. I like it this way. Don't ever change it again," he replies, still smirking though I hear a slight hint of seriousness in his voice.

I growl deep in the back of my throat and push past him, heading back to the cafeteria before someone else spots me.

Cartman only hesitates for a moment before following me. I feel his eyes boring into my back as I walk but I try to ignore him.

God, I hate this asshole so much!

"Kahl, slow down, will you? Jesus, no one else is going to spot us, okay?"

I ignore him and quicken my pace, just to annoy him. I hear him groan and I smirk, my plan to irritate him having succeeded.

I hear his footsteps move faster and I know he's jogging now. He reaches my side in a matter of seconds and he places his large hand on my arm to stop me. I angrily shake it off and continue to walk ahead, hearing him groan again behind me.

"Kahl, just wait, will you?" he cries, increasing his speed again.

I suddenly stop dead, my irritation having risen quickly, and slowly turn to face Cartman. The brunet seems to be surprised at my actions and stops dead directly in front of me, nearly barrelling into me.

I glare at him and he raises a questioning eyebrow, confusion clear on his face. "What?" he asks, puzzled.

I sigh deeply and just shake my head. "I just hate you so much," I say simply, as if it's completely obvious.

He stares at me for a moment or two, an odd look on his face, before scowling and moving past me, walking ahead of me. I cock an eyebrow at his back, and walk after him, heading back towards the cafeteria.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

_I kind of ended this chapter badly. Sorry about that._

_I really wanted to update this fic before Christmas. I've no idea when I'll have the next chapter up but please bear with me._

_Review, please. xx_


	5. Chapter 5

The last class of the day passed extremely slowly - Science. I usually enjoy Science - it's pretty interesting - but today I found it boring. I would love to be going home right now but instead I'm walking down the hall, heading towards the detention room, thanks to that fucking fatass Cartman.

To my surprise, when I reach the detention room, I see nine other people standing outside the door, waiting for the supervising teacher to come, and one of those people is Eric Cartman himself!

Our eyes meet as I approach him and I frown. "How the hell did you get detention, fatass?" I ask.

He shrugs. "My fucking art teacher failed me on my art project which I actually think looks pretty good. So I… kinda gave out hell to her. Nothing huge."

"Nothing huge?" repeats Craig, from behind me, obviously eavesdropping. "You looked like you were going to bite her head off!"

"Really? That bad?" I ask, staring at Craig in shock.

He nods. "You should have seen it. It was crazy."

"Wow. What did-"

"Alright alright, we get it that I went a little overboard, okay?" interrupts Cartman. "I'll tell Kahl what he wants to know, Craig, so why don't you stop listening to our conversation and talk to someone else, you nosy fag!"

Craig flashes him a glare and flips him off, before turning around and heading towards Bebe and Clyde.

Cartman sighs and I look at him again, suddenly interested. "So why were you so angry? You usually don't give two shits if you fail anything in school."

He shrugs again. "I guess it's because I actually worked hard on this project and I thought it turned out well. But that bitch still failed me!"

I stare at him incredulously. "You actually worked hard on it?" I scoff. "Why?"

He shoots me a glare before shrugging again. "I guess I liked the idea," he replies. "We had to draw a picture that describes our life."

I stare at him, feeling very confused. "And why the hell do you like that idea? That sounds pretty boring."

"For some, perhaps. For others, such as myself, it's pretty interesting," he answers, a small smirk playing on his lips, confusing me more.

"Why was it fun for you?" I ask. "What did you draw?"

"Do you want to see the drawing?"

"You have it with you?" I ask.

He nods. "It's just in-"

"Silence!" cries a loud voice near us, causing me to jump, startled. I glance to my right and see Mrs Carragh at the door to the room, eying every one of us hatefully. She opens the door and shouts at us to walk inside in single file.

What are we - children?

We do as we're told though so as not to hear her bitching. She's one of the bitchiest teachers in the whole school.

Once inside, she tells us she'll be putting us at a table, two at each table. She picks at random and I end up sitting at the back, sitting with Bebe Stevens. She flashes me a smile as she sits next to me.

I mentally groan. I know Bebe still has a crush on me but I really don't like her that way. In fact, I don't like girls that way at all!

Once the ten of us in the room are seated, Mrs Carragh hands out work for us to do to keep us occupied. I sigh deeply as I gaze down at the pages and pages of questions, covering almost every subject.

There's a question on the first page which catches my attention. It's asking about some famous artist or something and I get to wondering about Cartman's art project. I don't know why I want to see it so bad but I guess it's because I've seen Cartman's work when he _doesn't_ try so many times, but since he actually worked hard on this one, I really want to see it.

I suddenly jump a few seconds later as a hand touches my shoulder. I glance to my left and realise it's only Bebe, giving me an odd look.

"Kyle, why are you staring at Cartman? It's kind of freaking me out."

My eyes widen and I stare at her incredulously. "I… I wasn't…" I trail off and look ahead of me, only realising now that Cartman is sitting at the table in front of us, his back to me. I guess I could have been accidentally staring at him while I was lost in thought.

I look back at Bebe and see her waiting for my answer, her eyebrow raised. "I was just daydreaming," I reply. "I didn't mean to stare at him."

I quickly look away from her and try to forget about all that. I stare down at the pages in front of me and answer them as best as I can, trying not to let my mind wander again for fear of gazing at Cartman again.

-/-/-/

The hour and a half detention passes really slowly but Mrs Carragh finally allows us to leave at long last. I quickly throw my stuff in my bag before jumping out of my seat. I'm one of the last out since I was sitting at the back and I breathe a sigh of relief when I'm out of the room and away from Mrs Carragh. I kept feeling her beady little eyes on me every few minutes and it was starting to freak me out.

As I turn the corner to head to the front door of the school, I bump into someone and jump back in shock and embarrassment.

I glance upwards and see that it's Cartman I bumped into. Perfect.

My cheeks flush red and he rolls his eyes. "You should really watch where you're going, Jew. That could have hurt."

I don't answer. I just stare up at him blankly before I frown. "Well why were you just standing there anyway? Aren't you heading home?" I ask.

"Yeah. Of course I'm heading home, you stupid Jew. I just thought I'd wait for you. Is that a problem?"

I stare at him in surprise, noting the serious look on his face, and shake my head. "No, it's not a problem," I reply. "Uh, thanks, I guess."

He shrugs. "Whatever, daywalker."

I roll my eyes at the name but don't comment. We start heading outside and begin walking home together, in silence at first. Then Cartman breaks it.

"Dude, I hate silence. It's so fucking boring. Can we talk about something, please?"

I nod. "About what?"

"I don't know."

I roll my eyes. "Choose something."

"Okay. Hmm… I know! How about we talk about all the reasons I hate Jews so much?" he suggests, smirking deviously.

"Yeah sure. That sounds fun!" I cry, sarcastically.

He chuckles. "Fine, you pick a topic then, Jew boy."

I start to think. What would be an interesting thing to talk about between me and Cartman?

Our feelings? Ha ha, yeah right!

"What are you grinning at, Jew?" Cartman asks, smirking a little, amused and curious.

"Nothing," I reply, trying to remove my grin but failing.

"Tell me," he whines, nudging my arm.

"No," I answer. "Just pick something to talk about, fatass. I can't think of anything."

He sighs. "You're useless, Jew," he says, smirking and earning a glare from me.

"Shut up, fatass," I respond, rolling my eyes in irritation.

He chuckles. "How about we play 20 Questions?" he suggests.

I cock an eyebrow at him, thinking he's joking.

"I'm serious, Kahl," he says, as if reading my mind.

"Why?" I ask. "What's so good about that?"

He shrugs. "It could be fun."

"How?"

"God dammit, Kahl! Are you playing or not?" he cries impatiently.

I sigh. "Alright, fine."

"Cool. So I'll ask you a question, then you ask me, and so on," he briefly explains and I nod in agreement. "Okay, so my first question… why do you still call me 'fatass' when you know I'm not fat anymore?" he asks.

I blink slowly at him, not really expecting the question. "Because I've always called you that, ever since we first met. I don't care if you're not fat anymore. I'm going to continue calling you it," I reply, smirking slightly.

He growls a little. "Alright, your turn, Jew."

"Why _do_ you hate Jews so much?" I ask, after a moment of thought.

"Because you're all sneaky, greedy, sly, mischievous, evil, money-loving rats!" he cries, a dark look on his face.

I roll my eyes but don't bother starting an argument. "I see. Your turn."

"Why do you still wear that stupid hat? I know you don't wear it every single day like you used to but you still wear it nearly all the time. It's ridiculous!" he says, giving me an odd look.

I sigh. "It's because I hate my hair," I reply. "I got rid of my _Jewfro, _as you put it, but now it just hangs around my face and kind of makes me look like a girl. So I wear my hat so no one can see it. But on those rare days that I'm feeling extra confident for some reason, I decide against it."

His eyes stay on me for another minute or two, his eyes boring into me, making me feel uncomfortable, before his hand lashes out at me at almost lightning speed and knocks my hat off my head.

"Hey!" I cry, glancing around the ground for a moment before realising my hat is in Cartman's hand. "Give it back, Cartman!" I shout, trying to grab it.

He simply raises his hand to the point where I can't reach it, because of my small height, and he chuckles down at me. God, I hate being so tiny!

"Cartman, give it to me," I say, trying to keep calm.

"No," he answers. "Your hair's fine and you look better without this stupid thing."

I blink at him in surprise, feeling a light blush stain my cheeks. Did Cartman just compliment me?

I sigh. "Cartman, please just give it back."

"I'll give it back when we're at your house," he says and I stare at him, deciding whether to believe him or not. "I promise," he adds, flashing me a grin, causing my heart to flutter pleasantly inside my chest.

"Okay, fine," I say, exhaling another sigh before starting to walk again.

He walks by my side and lowers my hat, carrying it in the hand farthest away from me. As expected, my hair flies around my face, annoying me to no end.

"It's your turn," Cartman finally says, flashing me another grin.

My heart flutters again and I mentally curse at the taller boy for making me feel so elated so easily.

"Alright. Umm…do you mind being addressed as 'Cartman' by everyone, or do you even care?" I ask, suddenly interested to hear his answer. I never really thought about it before but now that I think about it, I would really hate being called 'Broflovski' by everyone all the time. But Cartman's been called by his surname ever since we were kids, so maybe he doesn't care anymore, or maybe he never did.

He stares at me for a moment, looking slightly surprised, probably not expecting the question. Then he shrugs. "What's it to you?"

I frown. "That's not part of the game, Cartman. If you really don't want to answer the question, I'll ask you something else and you can-"

"No, no. I'll fucking answer it," he interrupts, rolling his eyes and waving it off with his hand as if it meant nothing to him.

I'm guessing he didn't want to sound like a pussy for not answering a simple question.

"Well if you really want to hear the fucking truth, yes, I do care. I hate that everyone calls me Cartman. I always have," he says, surprising me with his honesty.

"Care to elaborate?" I ask softly, wanting desperately to hear the reason behind his answer.

He sighs, a deep frown forming on his face, showing a look of despair and dejection. "Why the fuck do you want to know so bad anyway?" he suddenly shouts, startling me and causing me to stare at him, almost hurt.

His face softens as he looks at me and he releases a sigh, sad and deep. "Alright. I just… I feel like I'm just not important enough to be called by my first name… Like I'm a lower level than you in humanity… like I'm nothing and so you can call me whatever the hell you want without giving two shits about how I feel… That's how I've always felt. Like I'm worthless and unimportant."

I gawk at him, unable to tear my eyes away from him. I never realised he felt that way before. I never knew he had such little self-confidence, but he does. And I'm part of the reason he has such low self-esteem. Part of it is my fault that he feels unimportant and worthless in this life…

I regret ever asking the question. I'd rather not have known that I'm one to blame for his low self-assurance. It hurts to know that I've caused him to think such things about himself, which are entirely untrue. Of course he's important. Of course he's not worthless. He's not on a lower level than the rest of us in humanity. He's on the same level and deserves to be treated as such.

In that case, I really should start to call him by his first name. I'd be cruel otherwise, now that I know how it makes him feel, but the name 'Eric' sounds so foreign to me. Whenever I look at him, the name 'Cartman' just springs to mind. It's going to take some time to get used to his first name. Though I've obviously always known it's his first name, it just doesn't seem to sound right…

The only problem is that if I suddenly start calling him Eric, people will be wondering why the change and they may start to suspect things.

"Don't worry, Kahl," Cartman says, probably noticing my anxious look. "You can still call me Cartman as usual. We don't want people thinking things, right?"

He grins and I only hesitate a moment before returning a grin. "Yeah, right." I then grow serious. "But seriously, Cartman, I never knew that you actually felt so hurt by us calling you by your surname. I never knew it made you feel like you're worthless and unimportant, because that is so not true. I just…I feel really bad now. I… I'm sorry."

He shrugs nonchalantly. "Don't apologize, Jew. I know that you secretly don't care that it hurts me to be called 'Cartman' all the time. Stop pretending you do. Please."

I gape at him, shocked, but he doesn't notice. He doesn't think I care? That's unbelievable! He has no idea how much I care. No god damn idea!

"Anyway, it's my turn now," he says, ending the previous subject. "Hmm… let's see…" He raises his eyebrows, obviously thinking of something, and looks at me. "What's your sexual orientation, Jew boy?"

I stare at him. "Huh?"

"Are you gay, straight, bisexual-"

"I know what it means, fatass!" I interrupt sharply. "I mean why do you want to know?"

He shrugs. "It's part of the game, Kahl! And besides, I've always wondered what you were."

I blink in surprise, before looking away. "I… I'm straight," I reply, unable to look at him.

"Are you?" he asks, sounding surprised.

"Yeah." I raise an eyebrow at him, not making direct eye contact. "Why do you sound so surprised?"

He shrugs and looks ahead of him again. "You just never seem to mention girls at all and you don't ask any out."

I shrug, pretending to make little of it, when really what I want is to tell him the truth, that I'm gay. Gay for him…

I mean, how could I ever have a chance with him if I make him think I'm perfectly straight?

"It's my turn," I say quickly, realising we're almost at my house.

"Go on then," Cartman replies.

"Why do you always reject all the girls that ask you out, including Bebe, even though she's one of the hottest girls in school?" I ask, curiosity bubbling inside me.

He blinks slowly and I notice him exhale a quiet, yet deep, sigh. He then gives me a sideways glance. "Because they're all fucking bitches, that's why!" he cries, startling me a little. "I hate them all. No decent girl has ever asked me out. Everyone who has is a big-headed bitch who thinks they can get their way just because they have huge fucking titties."

He grunts, pissed off at the thought, it seems.

"What about Wendy?" I ask, and he cocks an eyebrow at me. "A lot of people think you like her but others aren't so sure. So… do you?"

"What? Of course not! She's just as bitchy and big-headed as the rest of them. Besides, she's Stan's ho, right?" I nod. "So why the fuck would I like her?"

I shrug. "It's just a rumour."

He sighs. "You shouldn't believe everything you hear, Kahl. Rumours are just a big bunch of lies to have something interesting to talk about in the boring days of school."

I nod in agreement. "I guess you're right," I reply.

"Of course I'm right," he adds, smirking.

I grin and then frown in confusion when he suddenly comes to a stop. "What? Why'd you stop?" I ask.

"Uhh… we're at your house," he says, pointing over my shoulder, pointing out the obvious.

"Oh," I mumble, blushing at my stupidity.

He smirks. "Don't be embarrassed, Jew. Who can pay attention to their surroundings when they're talking to me?"

I stare at him, shocked, and he chuckles, causing my blush to darken.

"Uhh… I better go in now," I mutter very quickly, not even sure if that came out coherent.

I turn around, about to start heading towards my house, when Cartman's hand suddenly grips my arm and turns me back around to face him again, causing me to stare at him in surprise and confusion.

"Cartman, what are you-"

"That was my question, Jew. We never said we were finished playing the game. So my question is: who can pay attention to their surroundings when they're talking to me?" He cocks an amused eyebrow at me, waiting for my answer.

I feel my cheeks get hotter than they already are and I shrug. "I don't know, Cartman. Just let me go inside and give me my hat back," I say, avoiding his eyes purposely.

"I'll give you your hat back after you answer the question, Kahl," he says, his eyes on mine though I'm not looking back.

I exhale an irritated sigh and finally meet his eyes, regretting it immediately as I suddenly feel weak at the knees.

"But I… I don't know the answer, Cartman," I say, blinking rapidly to avoid falling captive under his eyes.

He frowns at my constant blinking and raises an eyebrow, but decides to ignore it. "Just say you, Kahl," he says, exhaling a deep, warm breath onto my face, causing my heart to beat faster.

"W-what?" I ask stupidly, a little distracted.

"Just say you're the one who can't pay attention to your surroundings when you're talking to me," he says, smirking. "That's all I want to hear."

I stare at him, my eyes widened, wondering whether or not he's joking. By the devious smirk on his face, I instantly know he's serious.

"Alright. I can't pay attention to my surroundings when I'm talking to you," I reluctantly admit, avoiding his eyes. "There, you happy?"

His smirk widens and he releases me. "'Atta boy, Kahl," he says, giving my shoulder a gentle pat.

I blush ferociously and look off to the side, frowning when I hear him chuckle.

"Here's your hat, Jew," he says, shoving the hat onto my head in an uncomfortable manner.

I groan and adjust it properly until it's sitting comfortably atop my full head of hair.

"Well I guess I'll see you later, fata- uhh, Cartman," I correct myself.

I may not start calling him Eric for fear of what others might think, but I can at least stop calling him 'fatass' and call him 'Cartman' all the time. At least it's not as bad.

"Later, Jew," he replies.

I frown disapprovingly at him and cock an eyebrow, awaiting the correct response from him.

He sighs in annoyance. "Alright, fine. Later, _Kahl,_" he corrects himself.

I smile at him, satisfied, and turn around to head inside my house, my cheeks still crimson.

"See you tomorrow," I call to him as I open the front door but when I look over my shoulder, I see he's already started heading home, the wind blowing his messy brown hair back, making it look even messier. God dammit… I can't stop my heartbeat from increasing rapidly and my eyes to stay on him until he's completely out of sight.

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_Hope you enjoyed that. Please leave a review whether you did or not. _

_I've finished typing the whole thing up so I just need to edit here and there before uploading more chapters. There's going to be eighteen chapters by the way._

_In the new year, I'm going to try update this fic more frequently. Let's see how that works out!_

_By the way, I hope you all had a great Christmas and Santa got you everything you wanted! xxxx_


	6. Chapter 6

_Thanks for all the reviews so far. Sorry I can't reply to them all but I do appreciate every single one._

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The weekend arrives slowly enough and I exhale a contented sigh as I enter my bedroom and collapse on my bed. School was long enough today. I'm just glad it's the weekend again.

As I lie on my bed, gazing up at the ceiling absentmindedly, I suddenly wonder what I'm going to do this weekend. I've done nothing with my friends for quite some time. We could possibly hang out.

I think about what we could do for the next few minutes before my phone suddenly starts ringing, startling me.

I jump in fright before relaxing again and I pick up the phone.

It's Kenny ringing. I answer it and press the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Kyle."

"Hey, Ken. What's up?"

"Well I just heard on the bus today that there's going to be a party at Bebe's tomorrow night. She's going to send everyone a message on Facebook today to ask people to come. I already heard most of the people who are invited, and we definitely are!"

"Oh. Uhh… great," I feign interest.

"Yeah. So do you want to go?" he asks, a hopeful tone to his voice.

I silently gulp, not exactly liking the sound of a party… "Well… who's going?"

"I'm going for sure. And Stan said he'd go. Cartman said maybe. And loads of people we know from school will be there."

I sigh. "I've never been such a big fan of parties, Ken. You know that."

"Aw, come on, Kyle. You'll have fun. Don't be such a pussy!"

"Hey, I'm not a pussy!" I cry, a little childishly.

"Then come to Bebe's party," he says.

I frown, still not fond of the idea but not in the mood to be ripped on. "Alright fine, I'll go."

"Awesome!" Kenny cries, and I can almost see the grin on his face.

"Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow then," I say.

"Yeah. Go to Bebe's house at about half-ten. See you!" he replies, and hangs up.

I drop my phone next to me on the bed and groan. I did want to hang out with my friends this weekend but a party was one of my last options. I'm really not looking forward to this…

-/-/-/

The rest of Friday and Saturday morning pass slowly. I was dreading the party and so did nothing really to help speed up time - just some homework, reading and some small housework.

It's finally 8pm and I'm getting ready for the party. There's butterflies in my stomach and I feel kind of sick.

I feel sort of stupid getting ready so early before the party. I'm sure only girls would get ready for a party this early… God dammit.

I change my clothes into my favourite pair of black tight jeans, and a black and red t-shirt with a dark red cap. I check to make sure my phone is fully charged before plopping myself down on the couch to watch some TV.

It's soon time to leave and I grab my jacket before sneaking outside into the chilly night air. Luckily, Bebe's house isn't too far from mine so the walk isn't long.

I feel my nerves worsen as I stand at the front porch of Bebe's house, clearly hearing the loud music inside. I ring the doorbell twice before someone finally answers.

"Kyle! Hey!" Bebe greets me, a look of delight on her face.

"Hey, Bebe," I greet her shyly.

"Come in," she says, grabbing my arm and pulling me inside before I can answer.

I smile at the warmth of the house and I feel Bebe tugging at my coat to try to take it off. I help her out and she hangs it up before grabbing my hand and dragging me into her large living room, where everyone is either sitting and drinking or dancing wildly to the blaring music playing.

I look around for my friends and spot them on the couch- all three of them. I guess Cartman decided to come after all.

I head over to them and take a seat between Stan and Cartman.

"Kyle, you came!" Stan cries, grinning widely.

"You sound like you didn't expect me to," I point out.

"I didn't, to be honest," he admits, taking a swig of his drink.

Kenny practically shoves a drink into my hands and I blink up at him, slightly startled.

"Drink," he orders, leaning back again and eying the dancing girls in front of him.

I roll my eyes at him, even though he isn't looking my way, and take a small sip of my drink. My throat seems to burn as I swallow and I instantly start spluttering and coughing, and I quickly shove the drink into Stan's hands, eager to keep it away from me.

"Whoa, dude!" Stan cries, patting my back hard while holding my drink in the other.

I gradually stop coughing and I realise then that Cartman is laughing his fucking head off at me. I shoot him a glare and elbow him in the side, cutting off his laughter as he returns my glare.

"Ow! That fucking hurt, you god damn Jew!" he shouts.

I smirk and avert my gaze to the dancing teenagers in front of us. I recognize a few people I know, such as Craig, Clyde, Token, Wendy, Heidi, Red and a few others.

I see Bebe and Kenny making out in a corner, their arms wrapped tightly around each other. I guess Kenny must have slipped away while I hadn't noticed.

Stan also seems to notice and almost instantly gets to his feet, placing my drink beside his on the table near us.

"Where are you going?" I ask him.

"I'm going to go find Wendy," he answers, and I know the rest.

I watch as he collects Wendy from the dance floor and brings her to an empty spot where he whispers something to her. She seems to nod and they begin making out, Stan leading Wendy to the wall where he presses right up against her.

I notice after a while that Wendy's hands move away from Stan's back and make their way to his front where one of them takes a firm hold of his cock.

I frown in disgust, though for some reason I don't look away.

"Jealous, Kahl?"

I nearly jump at the sudden voice in my ear and I turn to see Cartman smirking at me.

"W-what?" I ask, a little dazed.

"You're jealous of Wendy," he states. "She has her lips on Stan and she's holding onto his dick. You wish you were in her place."

My eyes bulge right open and I stare at him incredulously, suddenly feeling sick at the thought. Cartman smirks wider and I glare at him.

"That's fucking disgusting, Cartman! I don't like Stan that way."

"Oh yeah? Well then why were you glaring when Wendy grabbed-"

"Because it's disgusting!" I interrupt him. "I was frowning in disgust!"

"You think it's disgusting for someone to grab hold of a guy's dick?" he asks, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yes!" I cry, exasperated.

"Hm." Cartman looks like he's thinking about something until a smirk replaces his thoughtful expression. "So if I did this, what would you do?"

"If you did wha-" I suddenly let out a shriek as Cartman takes hold of my cock, through my clothes. "Cartman!" I shriek, prying his hand off.

He laughs loudly and throws his head back. I glare hatefully at him before getting to my feet and stomping angrily out of the room.

I grab the handle of the front door but before I can open the door, a hand appears and easily pushes it closed.

I look and see that Cartman's the one who did it.

"Where are you going, Kahl?" he asks, keeping his hand on the door.

"Home," I reply. "So let me out!"

"Why are you going home? You just got here."

I glare at the door, purposely avoiding eye contact. "Because you're a fucking asshole, that's why!"

"Come on, Kahl. You know I was only kidding when I did that. Don't be such a whiny little bitch."

"Just fucking let me out, Cartman. I want to go home!" I shout.

He sighs in annoyance. "Kahl, if you go home now, everyone's going to call you a pussy for a long time."

I exhale an irritated sigh, as I realise he's probably right, and then frown again. "Why do you even care? And why do you want me to stay so bad?" I ask, finally looking at him.

He looks surprised by my questions but he only shows it for a split second before scowling. "Don't think I care in any faggy way, Kahl, 'cause I don't. I just don't want other people ripping on you and upsetting you. That's my job!"

I stare at him blankly, unsure of what to make of what he just said.

Before I'm able to speak again though, a high-pitched voice calls my name and both Cartman and I look over on instinct. I see Bebe making her way over, her blonde hair bouncing as she jogs over.

"Kyle, you're not leaving already, are you?" she asks as she reaches my side, a pout on her face.

"Uhh… I-"

"Come on, Kyle. You can't leave already! Are you not having fun?" she asks.

"Well, not really," I admit.

She pretends to be hurt for a couple of seconds before a seductive grin slowly makes it onto her face, causing me to feel nervous.

"Don't worry, I'll show you how to have fun." She winks.

"I don't think Kyle's interested in sluts, Bebe," Cartman points out, a smirk playing on his lips.

Bebe flashes him a glare before smiling at me again. "Come on, Kyle. We'll have fun. I promise."

She winks again and slowly takes one of my hands, placing it on her right breast. I instantly pull back and take a step away from her. She blinks in surprise.

I suddenly feel nervous. It's _so_ not normal for a guy to pull their hand away when a girl allows you to touch her breasts. Only someone who wasn't straight would do that…

I swallow nervously, watching both Cartman and Bebe's surprised and confused looks as they stare at me.

"Kyle, are you gay?" Bebe asks slowly, her voice low, though I manage to hear her over the blaring music from inside.

I feign confusion and shoot her an incredulous look. "What? No! No way, dude. I'm perfectly straight."

She doesn't look convinced. "Then why did-"

"I just didn't want to do any of that," I interrupt her. "It makes me feel… dirty."

She still looks unconvinced for another second before a grin replaces her previous expression.

"But, Kyle, this is a party. You're _allowed_ to be dirty," she says.

Before I can reply to that, I'm suddenly pushed back against the door by Bebe, her body pressing roughly against mine.

"Come on, Kyle. I promise you you'll love this," she whispers in my ear, sending a shiver down my back.

"Bebe, no. I- Ah!" I suddenly cry as Bebe bucks into me. "Bebe, please get off me. I don't- Ah! Fuck!"

I suddenly can't talk right as Bebe starts grinding her pelvis against mine, causing my breathing to quicken rapidly.

"Bebe!" I suddenly shout, trying to sound angry though it comes out pleadingly, which isn't what I want.

"You… like it?" she whispers, quickening the pace.

I shake my head, unable to speak.

"Yes you do. Don't lie, Kyle," she says, a wide seductive grin on her face.

I suddenly feel Bebe press her lips roughly against mine, startling me. I groan loudly, eager to escape.

She doesn't move, only continues doing what she's doing. I feel my body weaken and I unwillingly allow her to grind her body against me, as her tongue invades the inside of my mouth.

Before I realise what's happening, I feel Bebe's lips and body leave mine, letting my own body drop to the floor, my head in a daze.

I feel my hands move at my command again and I grab both sides of my head, trying to stop the whirling.

It gradually ceases and I focus on what just happened. I gasp when I see Bebe lying on the floor with her head raised as she looks up at the person towering over her.

I follow her frightened gaze and see Cartman standing over her, his back to me so I can't see his face, though I'm guessing he's glaring.

I think over the scene and guess that Cartman probably pulled Bebe off me and pushed her to the ground, and is now towering over her, overpowering her.

But that wouldn't make sense, would it? That would mean… that Cartman sort of… saved me?

I watch as no one moves for the next minute or two until Bebe finally tears her eyes away from Cartman so she can slowly get to her feet.

"Cartman?" she says, avoiding his eyes.

"What?" I hear him answer, his tone venomous.

"You… you have to leave," she says, her voice coming out shaky from her fear.

To my surprise, Cartman doesn't argue, or speak. He only turns around, avoiding eye contact with me, though my eyes are pinned on him, and stands in front of the door.

"Move, Kahl," he commands, that venomous tone still clear in his voice, causing me to obey without argument.

Once I'm out of the way, Cartman opens the door and leaves, without another word to anyone.

I stare at the now-closed door, longer than necessary before I get to my feet. I look back at Bebe's former spot but see that she's gone.

I don't bother hesitating much longer. I open the front door and head straight out, eager to talk to Cartman about what just happened, though unsure of whether or not he's going to provide me with any answers to my questions.

I run out to the front of the garden and glance left and right, searching for him in the darkness. I finally catch a glimpse of him to my left, his silhouette figure visible on the opposite side of the road.

"Cartman!" I call loudly, watching as he stops and looks around, not able to spot me in the darkness.

I run towards him, reaching him in a matter of seconds.

"Kahl?" he asks, surprised to see me.

"Yeah. Hi," I reply stupidly, glancing up at the dimness of the street light above us.

"What do you want?" he asks, both confusion and annoyance clear in his voice.

"We need to talk," I tell him, meeting his eyes.

"No we don't," he replies, somewhat childishly.

I frown. "Yes, we do! Why did you help me back there? Didn't you know you'd be thrown out if you touched Bebe? She didn't want you to come in the first place. And why would you even want to help me anyway? You're-"

"Kahl, just shut up!" he shouts, interrupting me and startling me with his tone of voice. It still sounds venomous and spiteful. "I'm not in the mood, okay?"

"I don't care, Cartman. I need to know," I reply.

"Can't you just fucking thank me and drop it?" he snaps, his eyes hard as they lock on mine, boring into me.

I can only gaze back helplessly, unable to speak. He keeps his eyes on mine for another while longer before he finally looks away.

"Go home, Kahl, or go back to the party. I don't care. Just leave me alone," he says, starting to head home.

I stare after him, unsure of what to do, before I quickly make up my mind. I begin walking after him, my pace quickening until I'm by his side.

I hear him sigh in exasperation. "I told you not to follow me," he growls, his voice low but the venomous tone having disappeared.

"Uh, my house is this way too, Cartman," I reply casually.

He sighs in defeat, knowing he can't turn me away if I'm just heading home too. I hide a grin and match his pace.

There's complete silence between the two of us, except for the soft crunching sound of the snow as we walk. I'm desperate to break it.

"Cartman?"

I hear him groan quietly to himself, knowing the silence couldn't last forever. "What?" he asks gruffly.

"Can you at least answer one of my questions?" I ask, hopefully.

"No," he automatically replies, without even thinking about it.

"Why not?" I whine pathetically.

"Because."

"Because what?" I ask, exasperated.

"Because I said so," he says, his monotonous voice never changing.

"That's not an answer, Cartman," I note, rolling my eyes in irritation.

"I don't care, Jew," he answers.

I sigh, knowing he's not going to answer any of my questions for sure. There's no point in trying anymore.

"Well, thanks," I say.

Cartman suddenly stops in his tracks, causing me to also stop and look at him questioningly. He stares at me, puzzled and surprised, both eyebrows raised.

"What did you say?" he asks, his surprise clear in his voice.

I blink, cocking my head to the side in bewilderment. "I said thanks," I say, watching as he blinks slowly, his brown eyes shining.

I suddenly find myself smiling at his surprised expression. It's unbelievably adorable!

He blinks slowly, possibly even more confused, and raises a questioning eyebrow. "What are you smiling at, Jew?" he asks, looking slightly amused.

I shake my head, hiding my smile. "Nothing," I reply.

He lets it go and begins walking again. I only hesitate a moment before walking by his side again.

He mumbles something to me and I frown. "What? I didn't catch that," I say.

"I said you're welcome," he repeats, louder and clearer this time.

I blink in surprise before he looks at me, grinning now. I stare at him blankly before my lips turn upwards and I return a grin. I'm not fully sure why, but at this moment, I'm very happy.

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_Not sure of my opinion on this chapter. Hmm. Anyway, I'd love to hear your opinions so please leave a review!_


	7. Chapter 7

We reach my house in a matter of minutes and we both stop. I'm surprised Cartman stopped too. I figured he'd keep walking.

He seems to be studying me carefully under the dim light of the streetlamps above us, and I start to fidget with my shirt uncomfortably under his stare.

"W-what?" I ask, sounding slightly nervous.

He seems to catch this and smirks slightly. "Nothing, Kahl." He winks, causing my heart to skip a beat, and before I can ask about it, he asks a question. "So what did you tell your mom when you went out for the party?"

"I told her I was staying over in Stan's house tonight," I reply.

"So what are you going to tell her now?" he asks and my face falls.

I didn't even think about my mom the whole way back. I have no idea what to tell her! Cartman obviously notices the worry on my face and he starts chuckling, earning a glare from me.

"Kahl, you are so stupid!" he cries, laughing now. "You really have no idea what to say to your bitch of a mom?"

I sigh and shake my head, feeling embarrassed and stupid, too much so to realise he insulted my mom.

He also sighs, shaking his head in disbelief as his laughter dies down. "Kahl, Kahl, Kahl. What am I going to do with you?" he asks.

I roll my eyes at his mocking tone and instead try to think of something to tell her, though I'm still too worried and shocked to think properly.

"Just tell her that you finally admitted your gay feelings to Stan and he rejected you so you came home crying like a pussy. 'Cause poor Kahl got his little heart broken." He smirks and I glare at him.

"Cartman, for the millionth time, I don't have any gay feelings for Stan!" I cry, glaring heatedly at him.

I notice Cartman's face light up for a brief moment and his smirk widens slightly, to my confusion.

"So… you're gay?" he asks casually, as if he was asking an everyday question.

The question shocks me but I don't let it show. I fold my arms across my chest and frown at him. "I just told you-"

"No. You never told me you weren't gay," he interrupts me. "You only told me you weren't gay for _Stan_."

He continues to smirk and I stare up at him incredulously, feeling my cheeks heat up quickly. "Well yeah but… tha- I still meant I'm not gay," I retort, feeling stupid.

Cartman chuckles to himself and I look away in embarrassment.

"No, I don't think that's what you meant at all, Kahl," he says, smirking deviously. "You _are_ gay, aren't you?"

"No!" I shout, glaring at him once again. "God dammit, Cartman, get out of here!"

He raises his eyebrows in surprise before chuckling. "Whatever, Jew. I guess I know your big secret now, huh, fag?"

That word angers me to no end and I feel myself shake with rage. I so badly want to slap that smirk right off his face.

"I'll tell you what, Kahl. How about we make a deal?"

"Fuck off, Cartman. I'm not making any deals with you," I answer furiously.

"Fine," he shrugs. "I guess I'll tell everyone your secret then."

"God dammit, Cartman! I'm not-"

"Don't lie to me, Kahl!" he interrupts me again, his eyes now cold as they lock on mine. "I know it's true. You wouldn't be embarrassed otherwise." I open my mouth to argue but he speaks first. "Don't, Kahl. Don't bother trying to deny it, okay?"

I stare at him, my eyes narrowed hatefully, and then I sigh in defeat, knowing he's won.

"Alright." My shoulders sag and I stare at the ground, feeling lost and defeated. "What's this deal you're talking about, fatass?"

His smirk widens, I can see from the corner of my eye, and I glare at the snow beneath our feet.

"First, before I tell you the deal, I want you to tell me you're gay." I look up at him again and stare blankly at him. "Go on. Admit your sexual preferences, Jew boy."

I glare at him again, wondering for the umpteenth time why I have feelings for this asshole.

"I'm gay," I say monotonously, my eyes never leaving his.

He smirks. "And who are you gay for?"

My eyes pop open and my jaw drops. I stare at him in shock, definitely not expecting him to ask that.

He chuckles to himself, clearly amused, and cocks an eyebrow at me. "What's with all the shock, Jew? You should have known I'd ask you that."

I continue to stare at him, the same expression on my face, for a few more minutes before I frown at the brunet boy. "Cartman, I may be gay but I never said I liked anyone."

"You obviously do though, Jew. I can see it in your eyes," he replies, grinning deviously. "So who do you like then, Jew boy?"

I feel my cheeks heat up quickly and I avert my eyes from his gaze. "I… I-"

"Come on, Kahl. I won't tell anyone."

I suddenly frown at him as a thought occurs to me. "Cartman, why the hell should I trust you? You're the most untrustworthy person on the entire planet!"

He chuckles. "Come on, Kahl. I'm not _that_ bad."

I frown. "Yes you are, Cartman, and you know it!" I retort.

He rolls his eyes. "Alright, Jew, don't tell me. I guess I'll just go into school on Monday and tell everyone you're-"

He instantly shuts up and his head shoots back as I punch him right in the jaw, feeling unable to control my fury any longer. He winces as he touches the tender spot on his face with his fingertips, his eyes blazing with rage.

He finally looks up and meets my eyes and I can almost see the raging fire dancing behind his dark eyes.

"You fucking Jew-rat!" he yells, grabbing the front of my shirt and yanking me forward until we're centimetres away from each other.

He brings his face right up to mine and the tips of our noses touch as we lock eyes on each other. I feel uncomfortable this close to him and squirm awkwardly, though his grip on my shirt keeps me where I am.

"I am going to tell _everyone_ your gay secret now, Kahl - your family, your friends, everyone in school. They will rip on you and insult you until it becomes so bad, you'll have suicidal thoughts. You hear me, Kahl? And there is **nothing** you can do to stop me."

His icy words send shivers down my spine and I feel goose bumps appear on my arms. His hate-filled eyes bore into mine, to the back of my skull, until I almost feel faint. I mentally exhale a breath of relief when he finally releases me and averts his eyes from my gaze.

He starts to walk away, stomping, rather, and I feel unable to look away from him until he's out of sight. I then look back at my house and shakily make my way to the front door where I insert my key and clumsily make my way inside.

I trudge upstairs with heavy steps, completely forgetting to keep quiet, and enter my bedroom. I collapse onto my bed and don't bother getting into my pyjamas.

I feel fear enclose on me at the thought of Cartman telling everyone I'm gay. I'm sure some people such as Stan, Kenny and Butters wouldn't care but a lot of people would. They'd rip on me all the time and I possibly _would _end up considering suicide attempts, though I don't think it would come to that. I'm pretty strong inside.

My parents are another thing. I'm not sure about my dad but my mom would be totally against my sexuality. She's always dreamed of me marrying a smart, beautiful Jewish girl and having plenty of children. She's always talking about how wonderful it'll be when she has her own grandchildren. Well… that's not going to happen. I'm not sure exactly what my mom will do or say when she finds out I'm gay, but she definitely won't be happy.

As much as that asshole Cartman deserved that punch in the jaw, I'm really starting to regret doing it to him. My life could possibly be turned around in a matter of hours… all because of one simple punch to Eric Cartman…

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	8. Chapter 8

Sunday passed by very slowly. I didn't go out at all. I stayed in all day and mostly feared Monday. I know Cartman will tell everyone about my sexuality. My life will be changed.

Now it's Monday morning and I'm making my way towards the bus stop, walking slower than usual. When I finally arrive, Stan and Kenny are already there, chatting about Bebe's party.

"Kyle!" Kenny cries when he spots me.

"Hey, guys," I greet them.

"Kyle, where the hell did you go on Saturday?" asks Stan. "You left so early."

"Yeah, and so did Cartman. Is there something you two aren't telling us?" Kenny asks, smirking.

I roll my eyes and punch his arm. "Don't be stupid, Kenny. Bebe kicked Cartman out and I just left because I wasn't having fun."

"What!" Kenny cries, his voice higher-pitched than normal. "That party kicked ass! How could you not have fun?"

I shrug. "I guess I'm just not into parties. You guys already know that."

"But there was loads to do! It was awesome!" Kenny retorts, staring at me incredulously.

I shrug, not wanting to start an argument about that lame party.

After a minute of silence, Kenny and Stan return to their conversation on the party again and how 'awesome' it was. My mind begins to wander and I find myself lost in my own thoughts.

"Hey, fags," a familiar voice greets, though I'm still too lost in my thoughts to really notice him approach us at all.

"Kahl? Kaaahhll?" He clicks his fingers in front of my face and I jump, startled, and turn to see Cartman smirking at me. "You back on Earth now, Jew boy?"

I roll my eyes, honestly not in the mood to talk to him right now.

Suddenly a thought occurs to me and I tense up immediately, remembering about my secret Cartman's planning to tell everyone.

I glance at Stan and Kenny, thinking he'd probably tell them first, possibly now or on the bus. I then glance back at Cartman, seeing that he's studying me carefully, a small smirk on his face, as if he's just read my mind.

"Don't worry, Kahl," he whispers, taking a quick glance at Stan and Kenny to make sure they're not listening before resting his eyes on me again. "Everyone will know your secret soon enough, my dear Jew. Don't you worry."

His smirk widens and I scowl at him. My eyes catch the part of his jaw where I punched him. It's slightly bruised and red but that's basically it. It doesn't look as bad as it probably felt. I bet it hurt.

Cartman seems to catch me looking at the bruise and he cocks an eyebrow at me while his eyes narrow slightly. "Admiring what you did to me, Jew fag?"

My eyes look up to meet his and I have no idea what the expression on my face looks like, though I hope it looks apologetic. As much as I don't want to apologize to this annoying asshole, maybe if I do, he might reconsider telling everyone my secret. That's a very big _might_, but it's worth a try.

I exhale a sigh and meet his eyes again, gazing up at him. "Listen, Cartman, I'm really sorry about what I did to you. I should never have hurt you. That was… wrong. Is there any way I can make it up to you?"

I keep my eyes locked on his - with difficulty, I might add - to try to look like I'm telling the truth. It seems to work because Cartman's eyes widen in surprise.

"W-what?" he asks, looking slightly dazed from the surprise and confusion.

"I'm sorry," I say, not bothering to repeat the whole thing.

He stares at me incredulously, his eyes widened and barely blinking, his mouth slightly parted. I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from giggling at his expression.

"Kahl, are you high or something?" the fatass finally speaks.

I exhale an irritated sigh and raise an eyebrow at him. "No, Cartman. I'm not high. I'm just sorry. Do you accept my apology?"

He blinks twice, still seeming surprised, before shrugging. "I don't know, Kahl. How do I know you truly are sorry?"

I stare at him for a moment before shrugging myself. "Do you not trust me?"

He scoffs and chuckles. "Yeah right, Jew. Why the hell should I trust you? You're the most untrustworthy person on the entire planet!"

I hit a strong sense of deja-vu. Didn't I say those exact words to him the other day?

He suddenly frowns, seeming to realise this too. I suddenly giggle, earning a confused look from the brunet boy. He seems to understand my laughter after a brief pause and he chuckles too.

Suddenly we both burst out laughing, earning confused, curious looks from Stan and Kenny.

"What the hell are you two laughing at?" asks Stan, raising a questioning eyebrow.

I only shake my head, slowly collecting myself, and look in my best friend's direction. "Nothing," I reply, grinning.

Cartman gradually stops laughing also and smirks.

"Come on, guys. Why were you laughing?" Kenny whines, pouting childishly.

"Seriously, Kenny, it's nothing. In fact, I don't even know why we were laughing so hard!" I cry, giggling.

"Me either," Cartman pipes in, chuckling to himself.

Kenny and Stan exchange odd glances with each other before letting the whole thing go and carrying on with their previous conversation.

I glance back at Cartman and see him looking back, still chuckling. I quietly laugh with him before a thought strikes me.

Does Cartman accept my 'apology' or not? And is he going to spill my secret?

As if reading my mind, Cartman nudges my arm with his elbow and winks. "I'll think about it," he says quietly, grinning at me.

I stare at him, his cute expression causing a smile to tug at my lips. He winks again - why, I have no idea - until we both hear the sound of the bus arriving so we break eye contact.

We hop onto the bus behind Stan and Kenny and I'm about to check where Stan is sitting so I can sit next to him before I instantly see Kenny take my place beside Stan. I stare incredulously at my two friends, but they're too deep in conversation to notice.

I scowl and continue walking down the aisle until I reach an empty seat and sit down beside the window. I sigh and gaze out the window at the boring houses of South Park. As I wait for the bus to start moving, I absentmindedly gaze into the windows of the houses nearby.

My eyes suddenly begin to widen as I spot a bedroom window with the curtains wide open where I see two boys, possibly two or three years older than me, undressing each other, obviously getting ready to have sex. I can't seem to tear my eyes away from the sight and so watch the boys, fascinated.

"Hmm… jealous, Jew?"

I nearly jump out of my seat in fright and glance to my right to see Cartman seated beside me, his usual smirk on his face. I stare at him for a minute while I try to calm down my racing heart before I frown.

"How long were you there?" I ask.

"Long enough to witness you checking out those two guys in the window," he replies, chuckling.

I blush crimson and look down at my feet, embarrassed.

He chuckles again. I force my eyes to stay away from the window until the bus finally moves. I breathe a sigh of relief, earning a questioning look from Cartman, which I ignore.

I lean my head against the window and exhale deeply, watching with slight interest as condensation occurs and the window is no longer clear. I repeat this a couple of times as I wait for the bus to arrive at the school until I finally grow bored and stop. I only realise then that Cartman is staring at me, an odd expression on his face. I turn to look at him and frown in confusion.

"What?"

"You just have a weird way of entertaining yourself," he says, laughing.

I raise an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"I was watching you breathe on the window and stare at it as if it's the most interesting thing in the world," he briefly explains.

I stare at him, feeling humiliated again, before letting out an embarrassed giggle. Cartman smirks at my girlish giggle and I grin.

"You're so weird, Jew," Cartman points out, still smirking but looking away.

I raise an eyebrow. "Oh, and you're not?"

He glances at me again. "Yes, I'm not," he confirms, and I scoff.

"Yeah, of course not," I mutter sarcastically, laughing as he feigns anger.

He can't pull off his pretend glare for long as the corners of his lips curve upwards awkwardly until he gives in and grins widely.

We continue to laugh together at practically nothing until the bus finally arrives at South Park High.

Since Cartman and I are at the back, we're the last two off the bus and everyone's already walking up to the school.

"Those two assholes! They didn't even wait for us!" Cartman cries, referring to Stan and Kenny.

"I know. Let's just go."

The two of us start walking side-by-side up to the door of the school, only a few inches away from each other.

"So what's your first class today?" I ask Cartman, wanting to break the silence between us, although it's not actually awkward.

"Art," he replies briefly, sounding uninterested. "Yours?"

"Geography," I reply.

Suddenly, as I'm briefly thinking about Cartman in Art class, a thought strikes me.

"Hey, Cartman?"

He glances sideways at me. "Yeah, Jew?"

"Remember that day we both had detention?" I ask.

He smirks at the memory. "Yeah. That supervising teacher has fucking anger issues!"

I nod in agreement. "Well, remember _why_ you got detention?"

He nods. "Why?"

"I remember you were going to show me the art project that you failed but you thought was actually good."

"What's your fucking point, Jew?" he asks impatiently.

"I want to see it," I state simply, smiling.

His eyes widen slightly but if he really is surprised, he masks it well. "Why?" he asks me, cocking an eyebrow.

I shrug. "I'm just curious, is all. I want to see what something you actually worked on looks like." I smirk and he shoots me a glare, to my surprise.

"You can't see it," he says.

"What?" I ask, unsure if I heard him right.

"You can't see it," he repeats simply, his voice stern.

"Why not?" I ask, disappointed.

"You just can't," he replies, as if that's a knowledgeable answer.

"But you were going to show me it before. Why not now?" I ask.

"Kahl, just drop it, alright?" he snaps. "I just don't want you to see it, okay?"

"But before you-"

"No, even then I wasn't going to show you," he interrupts. "I was bluffing. I was going to pull out something else from my bag, dumbass!"

"Oh," I reply, slightly hurt and disappointed. I'm curious as to what he drew. "Will you at least tell me what you drew?"

"No, Kahl. Just let it go, will you?" he asks impatiently.

I exhale a defeated sigh and reluctantly drop the subject. We walk on ahead and just before we walk though the front door of the school, Cartman places a hand on my arm, causing me to glance at him curiously.

"I just want you to know that I won't tell anyone your secret, Kahl," he says and I feel a smile light up my face. "For now," he adds, grinning deviously.

I stare at him in shock, my mouth hanging open.

He chuckles before removing his hand and opening the door, allowing me to walk in ahead of him. I flash him a scowl before entering the school.

Cartman walks in after me and we head to our lockers, our lockers being pretty close to each others because of alphabetical order.

I enter my combination code and swing open the metal door before taking out the books I need for my first few classes.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The start of the day finishes up pretty quickly. It's finally break and I go to my locker to get the next few books I need. As I'm just finishing up, a hand is placed on my shoulder and I jump.

"Stan, don't do that. You nearly gave me a heart attack," I say, without looking back.

"Uhh… I'm not Stan," a voice says, definitely not Stan's.

I stand up straight and glance back over my shoulder. "Oh. Uhh… hey, Clyde," I greet the brown-haired boy, surprised to see him.

"Hey. Uh, I was just wondering… is the rumour true?" he asks, looking kind of awkward.

I frown. "What rumour?"

"You know… the one about you," he says, staring at the floor, looking kind of embarrassed.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about. What rumour?" I ask, feeling extremely confused.

"The… the one-"

"H-hey, Kyle!" cries a familiar, irritating voice, owned by Butters, interrupting Clyde.

"Hey, Butters," I greet the blonde boy politely as he approaches me and Clyde.

"I-is it true?" he asks.

"Is what true?" I ask, exasperated, eying both the blonde boy and the brunet boy in front of me.

"The rumour!" Butters cries, his face full of curiosity.

"What fucking rumour?" I shout, startling the two boys in front of me. I notice a few people looking over at me from nearby, staring at me curiously.

I sigh and take a deep breath before softening my voice. "I'm sorry. Just please tell me what you guys are talking about."

"The rumour about you being g-gay," Butters tells me, and I feel my mouth drop open and my eyes widen like saucers.

"W-what?" I ask quietly, almost losing my voice from my shock.

"W-well, is it true that y-you're gay?" Butters asks again and I stare between the two boys in front of me for God knows how long.

Clyde eventually gets bored and exhales a sigh before walking off, without a word.

Butters stares back at me, a look of anxiety on his face. "K-Kyle, are you okay?"

I force myself out of my trance and force a small smile at Butters. "Yeah, I'm fine, Butters. I… uhh… I got to get to class. See you later."

Before he can speak again, I quickly push past him and start heading down the hall, not even sure if I'm heading the right way. My mind is wandering. All I can think about is my secret. I feel fury build up inside me as a familiar brunet boy enters my vision.

He's a few yards ahead of me, heading towards History, with Heidi and Annie walking on both sides of him, possibly flirting.

I glare daggers at the back of Cartman's head, feeling rage bubble up inside me. That stupid fat asshole told me he'd keep my secret! He said he wouldn't tell anybody! He… lied to me.

I feel extremely hurt at his actions, though I'm not sure why. Sure, he lied to me, but he's _Eric Cartman_! He lies all the time, to me especially. Like I said before, he's the most untrustworthy person on the entire planet. I should have expected him to do this. So why am I so surprised?

Is it because this time I actually thought I could trust him? Because I thought he meant what he said this one time? But why? Why did I think I could trust him this time, when I knew every other time to not ever place my trust in him? Why was this time different?

Maybe it's because we… we're actually starting to get along lately. Sure we still have our occasional bickering about something stupid and unimportant, but the insults we've thrown at each other recently have only ever been half-hearted. We don't truly mean what we say anymore.

And we've been acting more like friends than enemies recently. We've had our loud laughing fits at things that weren't even that funny and we've sat together on the bus. We actually mainly talked instead of arguing these past few days. And we've had fun.

And Cartman did save me from losing my virginity to that slut Bebe, though he still never told me why.

So, recently, Cartman and I have grown. We are now friends instead of enemies, and we're more mature with our arguments.

Or so I'd thought…

But now everything I thought about Cartman from recent events have gone. Now I see him as I used to before a few weeks ago. He's now that same racist, cruel, vengeful, evil asshole who everyone hates. He's a lying bastard who doesn't deserve to live. I want him dead. I want him to die a slow, painful death right before my eyes, so I can watch with joy as the life he's led slowly leaves those dark menacing eyes of his.

He deserves it so much. He made my heart yearn for him more than ever from how he's been acting around me lately. But now I feel my heart being crushed, as if someone's holding it and gripping it tightly between their fingers.

My whole life is going to change now, for the worse. Everyone will rip on me and I'll never find peace. My mom will be furious and she'll possibly beat me for being how I am. This town doesn't believe in peace. The word 'peace' is almost unknown in South Park.

By the end of this year, I'll have possibly no way to handle it anymore. I'll have suicidal thoughts every day until the day finally arrives where I can't go through my life anymore… and I'll kill myself.

All because of that fat asshole who has stolen my heart and then destroyed it.

Eric Cartman, why do you do this to me? I haven't a clue. But I really want you to know that I absolutely hate that I somehow love you…

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_Hope you guys enjoyed that chapter. Sorry for slow updates by the way. _

_OH MY GOD, HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THE LAST NEW EPISODE OF THE FIRST HALF OF SEASON 16? If you haven't, I won't spoil it for you. BUT OH MY GOD, IT'S PERFECT._

_Kyman is practically canon, okay? That's all I'm saying. I'M SO HAPPY!_

_Ahem, anyway… review please! xxxx_


	9. Chapter 9

For most of the day, I've been noticing everyone's stares and weird looks from across the room, both in classes and out in the halls. Nobody has asked me about it since Clyde and Butters but I know they're all silently asking the same question - _is the rumour true?_

I haven't had a chance to talk, or yell, at Cartman for what he did since he hasn't been in any of my recent classes.

Stan and Kenny were in one or two classes with me but they were sitting too far away from me so I didn't get a chance to speak to them.

Even though I said before that they probably won't care if I'm gay, I'm starting to have my doubts… though I'm not really sure why.

It's finally time for lunch so I can finally get a chance to talk to my two friends and Cartman. I quickly get the books I need for the classes after lunch before closing my locker and heading down to the cafeteria.

"Hey, Kyle," Stan greets me as I take a seat next to him, opposite Cartman.

"Hey," I reply, barely giving my best friend a glance as my eyes are pinned on Cartman, feeling anger and hurt pierce through my veins at lightning speed.

The brunet is too busy eating to notice me glaring at him, which only angers me more.

"Kyle, are you okay?" Kenny asks, shooting me an odd look.

At that moment, Cartman finally looks up from his food tray and meets my eyes. He blinks in surprise at my furious glare and raises an eyebrow.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Jew?" he asks casually.

I almost see red. I'm just about ready to explode from anger and I feel my whole body start to shake with the rage that's quickly built up inside me.

"Kyle? Kyle, what's wrong?" Stan asks, sounding worried.

I ignore him. Cartman is the only one I'm paying attention to.

"Kyle, if you don't calm down, you're going to pop a blood vessel," Stan tells me and, out of fear of that actually happening, I calm myself down, though my glare never falters.

"Cartman, we need to talk," I tell the larger boy, as calmly as I can.

He frowns. "No way, Jew. I'm eating."

My eyes slowly narrow. "**Now**, Cartman," I say loudly, his annoying attitude not helping me to control my temper in the slightest.

He exhales an irritated sigh and rolls his eyes. "God dammit! Fine, Jew! You whiny little bitch."

He mutters the last line under his breath. Fortunately for him, I let those last words slide. Otherwise I'd darken that bruise he has on his jaw!

We both stand up simultaneously from our seats and leave the cafeteria side-by-side. Once outside, I grab Cartman's arm and lead him into the boy's bathroom, not really in the mood to be caught by another teacher and earn another detention.

Once inside the bathroom, I release Cartman's arm and make sure we're alone before facing him again.

"What's this about, Jew? You better have a good reason for making me miss lunch just to talk to you about something that's probably really stupid, and that I probably won't give two shits about."

I glare at him, locking eyes with him. "You lied."

He frowns. "What?"

"You lied," I repeat, getting straight to the point. "You told me you wouldn't tell anyone my secret. You fucking lied to me!"

"Kahl, what the hell are you talking about? I haven't told anyone your secret, you stupid Jew."

"Don't lie to me, Cartman!" I cry angrily, glaring daggers into those large brown eyes of his. "Don't fucking lie to me anymore!"

"Kahl, I'm not lying. I've seriously never told anyone your stupid secret," he tells me, his eyes on mine, looking almost sincere. "I promise you that I haven't told anyone."

He places both hands on my shoulders, gazing at me, his hypnotic eyes almost causing me to collapse, but I manage to hold my ground.

My anger slowly fades away and is replaced by hurt, which feels a hell of a lot worse.

"I thought I could trust you, Cartman. I know I said you're the most untrustworthy person on Earth but… I… I just trusted you this time. I don't know why, but I did. And you lied. And now my whole life is going to change, for the worse."

I feel tears prick my eyes and I stare up at him sadly, the inside of my chest starting to hurt dreadfully.

"Kahl… why do you think that I told someone?" he asks curiously.

"Because it's going through the whole school!" I shout, tears now spilling freely down my cheeks. I mentally yell at myself for allowing myself to cry in front of Cartman. But I just can't seem to hold the tears back any longer.

Cartman looks surprised to see me cry, though he could possibly be more surprised at my words than display of emotions.

"Kahl, I don't know what you're talking about," he says softly. "Explain."

I pause, wiping my tears away angrily before taking a deep breath and beginning to speak. "This morning, Clyde and Butters came up to me and asked if it was true. I didn't know what they meant and they told me there's a rumour going around that I'm gay. And since you're the only one who knows, you obviously started it."

"Kahl, what the fuck? Anyone could have started that rumour! It wasn't me!"

"I told you to stop lying, Cartman!" I shout, my voice cracking.

An uncontrollable sob escapes my mouth and I tear my eyes away from the brunet boy, feeling broken.

There's silence between the two of us and I feel my heart aching painfully inside my chest, causing more tears to escape my eyes.

"Kahl?"

I don't answer. I only sniff in response.

"Kahl, I don't know how to prove it to you so you'll just have to believe me. I did not start that rumour. I swear."

I close my eyes at his words, wanting so badly to believe him but knowing I can't. This is Eric Cartman here. He's possibly the best actor in South Park, and can feign any emotion. He's lying again. I can tell.

I don't think I can deal with this anymore.

"Cartman, just…" I sniff and open my eyes again to look up at him, purposely avoiding his eyes. "I just… I can't deal with you and your lies anymore. I know you started the rumour and no matter how many times you deny it, I won't believe you. I've dealt with you all my life and have somehow managed to cope. But I've finally given up. I don't ever want to see you again."

Cartman's eyes widen at my words.

"I don't want you to ever talk to me again. And I won't talk to you. We'll pretend we don't know each other. We can both pretend we've never met and everything will be fine for the both of us," I say, feeling my whole body shake.

Cartman stares at me in shock, his eyes widened and a look of hurt on his face. But the hurt is only pretend.

The look on his face kills me, but I don't know why.

"Kahl, why do you think that would make it better for both of us? What gives you the slightest fucking idea that my life would be better if you weren't in it?" he cries.

"Because you hate me," I say quietly. "Of course your life would be better without me. It's only common sense."

"Screw common sense!" he yells, throwing his arms up in exasperation. He continues to keep his eyes on mine but I don't lock our gaze. I can't bear to see those eyes again.

"Kahl, trust me. My life would be pretty fucking shit without you. Without you, there'd be no point living!"

He's lying. I can't let my guard down. He's tricking me.

"Kahl, you are the only reason I live. My whole life consists of me ripping on you and making you miserable and angry. I thrive on your anger, as well as your pain. I need your constant anger towards me to keep myself from going insane. I need you, Kahl, more than you know."

I gawk at him, comprehending his words, slowly registering every word he said in my brain. I feel my anger return once again, replacing my hurt temporarily, and I glare at him, my eyes narrowed.

"I can't believe you!" I cry, a lot louder than expected. "You insensitive, cruel, uncaring, Anti-Semitic asshole! That just proves you did start the rumour! You knew that would anger and hurt me to no end! So you lied and spread the rumour around the school! Well your plan to cause me pain has worked perfectly because I'm fucking dying right now!"

I feel more tears escape my eyes, soaking my face in tears of frustration and pain. My eyes fall to the ground and I sob quietly to myself, unable to control myself any longer.

There's another long silence between us and I'm unsure of what to do. I feel I should leave and go back to the cafeteria but I'm crying my eyes out here, and even if I stop, Stan, being so perceptive, will know I've been crying and will want answers from me.

My second thought is that Cartman should leave and let me cry alone. I'm not sure why he's still here. I'm not sure what thoughts are running through that evil mind of his, and I'm not sure if I even want to know.

I'm also unaware of what the expression on his face looks like. My guess is that he's smirking widely, enjoying every minute of watching me cry, wanting desperately to taste my tears, to taste my pain.

I don't dare look up to see if my guess is right. I'm afraid if I do look and I'm right, that'll only cause me to hurt more, adding to his sick pleasure.

After another few minutes of silence, my uncontrollable sobbing gradually dies down and I'm left with watery eyes, a soaked face and a runny nose, not exactly my favourite way to be.

I start sniffing multiple times, very aware that I'm easily able to just go grab some toilet paper to blow my nose, but my feet don't move. I glance down at them stupidly, mentally yelling at them to move, though that doesn't exactly work.

There's more silence as I stand in the same spot, unable to move, and wait for something to happen.

"Kahl?"

Cartman speaking again wasn't exactly one of the things I wanted to happen but whatever.

"Kahl, I didn't start that rumour."

Ugh, here we go again! That stupid asshole just doesn't seem to understand that I'm not going to fall for his stupid tricks.

I glare at the bathroom floor, furrowing my eyebrows in frustration, still not daring to look up at the larger boy.

"Kahl? Fucking answer me, Jew!" he cries, clearly annoyed.

I don't reply. In fact, I don't even move. I stand perfectly still, glaring at the ground, blinking being my only form of movement.

"Kahl, come on, don't ignore me. I'm trying to talk to you! Will you just answer me?"

I exhale a deep sigh, frustrated. "What?" I finally answer, my voice sharp.

"I didn't start the rumour, Kahl. I don't know who did but it wasn't me. Why won't you believe me?"

I scoff, grinning stupidly. I'm not even going to bother answering that question.

"God dammit, Kahl. Will you at least look at me?"

I narrow my eyes at the floor, keeping my eyes downward. He groans in irritation, seeming to be losing his patience quickly.

Suddenly I feel his fingers grasp my chin and force me to look his way. I don't give him eye contact and instead try to struggle, trying to break free from his firm grip.

"Kahl, stop moving!" he cries, though that doesn't stop me struggling.

I suddenly yelp as he stamps his foot on mine, causing a very sharp pain. I instantly stop struggling and instead shut my eyes and grind my teeth together against the pain in my right foot.

I hear Cartman exhale an annoyed, yet relieved, sigh and I open my eyes again to shoot him a glare, finally meeting his eyes.

As I gaze into his brown eyes, I see something in them I rarely ever see in his eyes. I know the look though. I see the same look in Stan's eyes a lot.

It's honesty, and sincerity. Something I thought was impossible to find in Cartman's eyes, but obviously isn't since I'm staring him right in the eyes this very minute.

I guess… maybe he is telling me the truth. No! No no no! I can't suddenly just believe him just because of that look in his eyes. This is Eric Cartman here. I can't trust him, not ever again. He hurt me bad, and I've learned my lesson - never trust Eric Cartman. _Ever_.

"Do you believe me?" he asks softly, startling me a bit. I was so absorbed in his eyes and my own thoughts that I wasn't expecting him to speak.

I continue to stare at him, still having my doubts despite the fact I just said I wouldn't ever trust him again. Why does his eyes and stupid soft tone of voice make me have my doubts?

"No," I whisper, barely audible.

"What?" he asks, obviously unable to hear.

"I said no," I repeat, louder this time. "I don't believe you. Now let me go."

To my surprise, he obeys and releases his grip around my chin, staring at me wordlessly, his eyes widened just slightly.

I stare back at him for a moment or two, feeling my chest start to hurt again, before forcing myself to tear my eyes away from him and turn around. I hesitate for a few seconds before looking back over my shoulder and saying one last thing to him.

"Don't ever talk to me again, Cartman. I'm done with you. Just please stay away from me."

Without another word, I exit the bathroom and run through the halls, my eyes stinging with tears as I run, not exactly sure where I'm heading. I'm just trying to get away from that lying asshole. I don't dare go back to the cafeteria, for fear of being caught out that I was (and still kind of am) crying. Stan knows me too well to not notice I've been crying.

Instead I just run through the halls quickly, not caring if I get caught again. I just want to get away from that asshole.

I run around the school, still heading nowhere in particular, before I suddenly trip and fall hard on my stomach, my hands saving my face from the floor.

Instead of getting up, like a normal person would do after falling, I simply lie on the cold, hard floor, my tears now escaping my eyes again. I bury my face into my folded arms and sob quietly, my heart continuing to ache inside my chest.

After a couple of long minutes of crying, I feel a hard tug on the back of my shirt. My instant guess tells me that it's Cartman and so I instantly shout at him to fuck off, not even thinking to look over my shoulder and check, despite the fact it could easily be a teacher.

"Kyle, it's me," a familiar voice says softly.

My eyes suddenly widen and I glance back over my shoulder to see my best friend leaning over me, a concerned look on his face.

"Stan!" I cry, feeling both worried and happy to see him. "W-what are you doing here?"

"I figured you and Cartman were gone long enough so I came looking for you. What happened? Are you okay?"

I nod and he helps me to my feet. I sniff. "I-I'm fine," I tell him, though he's instantly unconvinced.

"What did Cartman do to you?" he asks, his concern switching to anger almost immediately. "I swear I'm going to fucking kill him when I see him!"

"No!" I automatically cry, without thinking.

He raises a questioning eyebrow at me, clearly puzzled. "Why not? He obviously did something to make you cry like this? Why don't you want me to kill him?"

"Just don't, Stan. I've decided I'm not having anything to do with Cartman anymore. He's out of my life. I'm going to pretend I don't even know him. Trust me, Stan. Everything's under control."

He frowns at me, looking curious. "What exactly did he do to make you finally decide to remove him from your life for good?" he asks.

I stare at him, debating whether or not to tell him, before shaking my head. "Sorry, Stan. I can't tell you."

He sighs, possibly expecting that, and shrugs. "Alright. Come on. Let's get you some tissues before class starts," he says, placing a comforting hand on my back while leading me to the boys bathroom.

I pray that Cartman isn't still in here. The last thing I need right now is to see him again.

Thankfully, as we walk inside, I see that he's gone. Stan runs into an empty stall and runs back out, handing me a small handful of tissues.

I mutter a quick thanks before beginning to dab at my eyes, drying all the escaped tears Cartman caused me.

I suddenly begin to wonder why I didn't let Stan beat Cartman up. He definitely deserves it, for hurting me like that, even though he probably doesn't know how much it actually hurt.

Still, I should probably go to extreme measures to get my revenge and make sure he got as hurt as I am. Though then I'd be no better than him.

Maybe I didn't let Stan hurt Cartman because I don't want anything more to do with that bastard. Or maybe it's because, despite everything, I'm still unwillingly in love with the fatass and don't want to see him get hurt, even if he so very much deserves it.

As Stan and I exit the bathroom after I clean myself up and am sure I won't cry again, I can't help wondering what the future will be like now.

With Cartman out of my life, I wonder what's going to happen. My life will certainly be a whole lot better but since I still love him, will I really be able to leave him for good and forget he ever existed?

I guess I'll just have to wait and see…

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

_I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter! _

_I'm nearly off for summer so I can hopefully update this more frequently. _

_Review, please. xxx_


	10. Chapter 10

_One month later…_

This last month has been… pretty strange, in a good way or bad way, I'm not yet sure. I can only guess that in time it'll eventually become good.

Cartman has surprisingly listened to me and has stayed as far away from me as possible. He hasn't spoken a word to me or even looked at me since that day I told him I wanted him out of my life. He's been acting as if I don't exist.

He hasn't even spoken to Stan or Kenny either, probably because they're my best friends and if he's pretending I don't exist, it'd be easier to pretend they don't either.

At first, Stan and Kenny were confused at his actions but I told them not to ask questions and to just enjoy the freedom from the annoying fatass. They agreed and haven't mentioned him since.

Having Cartman ignoring the three of us like this is definitely new and I still don't feel quite used to it yet. I still can't really grasp the fact that he's gone forever, out of my life.

Well of course he's still there, in class and in the halls and stuff, but he won't ever acknowledge me again, so it's like he's gone for good.

Though he doesn't, and won't anymore, acknowledge me, I still can't seem to do the same to him. When I see him in the hallway or at his locker, I can't help but stare at him. And during our classes together, I sometimes catch myself unwillingly looking in his direction, half-hoping he'll look back at me, despite everything that's happened.

It's now lunch time and Stan, Kenny and I are just finished getting our food in the lunch line. We take our seats at our usual table and start eating, breaking into a casual conversation soon enough.

During the conversation, I find myself tuning out and my eyes absentmindedly scan through the cafeteria, not looking for anything in particular.

My eyes suddenly spot someone and rest on that person, though my mind is screaming at me to quickly look away.

A good few tables away from us, Eric Cartman is sitting alone, eating quietly while his eyes stay downcast, not moving away from the table surface as he munches on his ham sandwich.

I squint my eyes to see better and can clearly see the look of sadness on his face. He doesn't make it particularly obvious but for someone who's known him his whole life, I've learned to mostly be able to read his emotions, even if he doesn't always make them clear. He's lonely and it's obvious that no one wants to sit with him, considering who he is.

I suddenly feel my heart swell painfully and I feel a feeling of guilt wash over me. This is my fault. Cartman is sitting alone at a lunch table, and also hanging around the whole school, by himself with absolutely no one to talk to. I'm pretty sure this is the first time he's sat in the cafeteria in a long while. For the past month, he's been elsewhere during lunch time, though I've no clue where.

I know somewhere at the back of my mind that he probably deserves this, but I still can't help feeling guilty.

I don't necessarily want to go over there and talk to Cartman myself. I just want at least one person to talk to him and hang out with him occasionally, so at least he won't be feeling lonely.

"Kyle? Kyle, are you okay?"

I tear my eyes away from the painful sight to glance at my two friends, both staring at me curiously.

I look at my best friend, who spoke. "Yeah, Stan, I'm fine."

"Dude, why were you staring at Cartman?" Kenny asks me, a look of confusion and slight amusement on his face.

I shrug. "I was just lost in thought," I answer, partly true since I _was _deep in thought, even if all my thoughts _were_ on Cartman.

Kenny shrugs and lets it go, going back to talk about whatever it is he was talking about before. Stan joins in.

My eyes unwillingly fly back to Cartman and I almost gasp out loud when I see that he's gone. Without thinking, I quickly shoot my head around the room in a desperate attempt to find him.

I soon spot him heading out of the cafeteria and I mentally breathe a sigh of relief, just to see him again. I haven't a clue where he's going and, for some reason, I'm dying to find out. But I can't. It would ruin everything.

Cartman and I are supposed to pretend the other didn't exist, and Cartman is doing a perfect job of that while I'm failing miserably, despite the fact I was the one who came up with the idea.

"Kyle, dude, seriously what's wrong?" Stan asks, cocking an eyebrow at me.

"Nothing. I'm fine," I quickly reply, flashing him a smile to hopefully convince him.

He gives me an odd look before looking away and finishing his lunch.

The bell soon rings and I jump up from my seat a little too eagerly. Stan and Kenny shoot me odd looks.

"I want to get to class early to look over something," I tell them quickly. "Bye."

I don't wait for them to reply. I rush out of the cafeteria quickly, confused at myself at why I wanted to get out of there so fast. I only realise as I turn a corner that I don't even know what class I have now.

"Fuck," I mutter quickly under my breath.

I stop walking and exhale a sigh, taking off my schoolbag to look for my timetable inside it. I quickly start to panic as I realise that my timetable is nowhere to be seen. My eyes widen slowly and I bite my lower lip in frustration.

Without a moment's hesitation, I throw my schoolbag back onto my back and run down the hall, trying to find Stan or Kenny to tell me what class I'm in before they're gone and I'm late.

I turn the corner, still running at top-speed, before I suddenly cry out as I barrel into someone, knocking them backwards with me falling on top of them.

I'm in a daze as I land on top of them and it takes me a few seconds to focus on the person underneath me.

"C-Cartman?" I cry, completely surprised.

He's in more of a daze than me since the back of his head hit the hard floor, so it takes him a few extra seconds to focus on me.

"K-Kahl?" he cries, sounding just as surprised as me.

"… Hi," I reply, suddenly feeling extremely awkward.

"Hey…" he trails off, sounding distant.

We stare at each other, our eyes locked, for God knows how long, before I feel a smile slowly spread across my face. Cartman's face is so close to mine and I suddenly feel a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Just being this close to him makes me realise how much I've missed him.

Seeing him look at me again and hearing him say my name causes my heartbeat to accelerate quickly, and I feel myself beaming with joy as I gaze into those familiar eyes I love so much.

Cartman grins back at me, also looking almost overjoyed, before he quickly masks the grin with a look of indifference.

"I… uhh…" I begin, trying to break the silence but realising I don't know what to say.

His grin returns and he doesn't seem to mask it again.

"Umm… I should, uh, probably get off you," I say awkwardly, grinning sheepishly.

He chuckles. "Yeah, you should."

I blush and slowly get off of Cartman's warm body and stand on my feet again. I hold out my hand and he eyes me while taking a hold of my hand firmly.

I use all the strength I have to haul the larger boy to his feet and when he has his balance, he gives me an odd look, as if he's impressed.

"Wow, I didn't know you were that strong, Jew," he comments, and my cheeks redden more in response.

I suddenly, out of nowhere, breathe a sigh of relief and contentment, surprising the brunet boy. I never thought I'd be so happy to hear Cartman call me 'Jew' ever in my life, but I am now!

"Cartman…" I breathe, saying his name as if it's the most amazing thing I've ever heard, not caring that he's right there and has obviously heard me say his name just for the sake of saying it.

Cartman seems both surprised and amused at this and smirks. Without thinking, I throw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

I hear Cartman gasp in shock and he hesitates a long while before slowly wrapping his arms around my waist, hugging me back.

I smile and close my eyes over his shoulder, my heart fluttering pleasantly at his touch.

We finally break the hug and Cartman cocks a questioning eyebrow at me.

"Why did you hug me?" he asks simply.

I lock eyes with him, smiling, and shrug.

"I guess I just missed you," I reply honestly, smiling wider as his two eyebrows shoot up, surprised at my answer.

"You… you missed me?" he asks, shocked.

I nod, still smiling, before suddenly feigning hurt. "Did you not miss me, Cartman?" I ask, shooting him a pretend hurt look.

He smirks and chuckles, clearly amused. "Yes, my dear Jew. Of course I did."

It's my turn to give him a surprised look and he smirks in response.

"Y-you mean it?" I ask hopefully, smiling again.

His smirk is replaced by a genuinely friendly smile, one I'd love to see more often on his face. "Yes, Kahl. I really did miss you."

I smile wider and, again, my heart flutters inside my chest, proving my love for him to myself, though he, of course, still doesn't know.

"So what do we do now?" he asks softly, taking a step towards me and smiling down at me.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

He scowls. "Do we continue doing what we were doing - pretending the other doesn't exist - or do we go back and be friends-slash-enemies again?"

I stare at him blankly, allowing his words to sink in before debating which one.

Of course I don't want him to go back ignoring me again; I can't go through that again after hugging him now. But Stan and Kenny seem a lot happier without him, and I know they'd be really curious and confused if I allowed Cartman to come back.

Also, I honestly don't want to be friends **or** enemies with him. I want to be so much more, now more than ever.

Now that I've realised how empty my life without Cartman truly is, I need him. I need him with me, more often than he used to be. I have the need to kiss him right now. I want him to hold me.

I want to tell him how I feel…

"Kahl? Are you okay?" he asks, breaking my train of thought.

I look up and meet his eyes again, absorbed in them.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I reply.

"So have you made a decision?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

_Go on! Tell him! Tell him how you feel!_

My mind screams at me to tell him, and as scared as I am, I can't argue with my irritating conscience any longer.

I take a deep breath and let it out silently, keeping my eyes locked on Cartman's.

"Cartman?"

He blinks. "Yeah?"

"I…"

"**Kyle Broflovski and Eric Cartman!**" a voice yells from nearby, startling the two of us.

We turn in unison and spot Ms Clarke a few yards away from us, her arms folded across her small chest and her dark eyes staring the two of us down.

"What are you two doing out of class?" she shouts, narrowing her eyes.

My eyes suddenly widen and I glance quickly down at my watch, starting to panic when I realise we're nearly twenty minutes late for class. I gasp in shock and glance at Cartman worriedly before looking back at Ms Clarke.

"Uh, I'm so sorry we're late, Ms Clarke," I say politely. "I didn't realise the time and-"

"And Kyle hurt his ankle," Cartman adds, interrupting me and earning a confused glance from me. "He tripped and really hurt his ankle. He can barely walk. I was thinking I'd carry him outside and bring him home. He doesn't live too far away."

Ms Clarke eyes me up and down. "He seems okay to me."

"I can stand okay," I reply quickly before Cartman can. "But I can't walk. Can I please go home?"

She stares at me for a few minutes before nodding. "Alright. Take him home, Eric. But you must promise that once he's home, you'll return straight away."

"I promise," Cartman replies, amazingly locking gazes with her, despite the fact he's lying. It's amazing how good of a liar he is. If I was Ms Clarke, I'd also believe him without a doubt with that innocent look of his.

"Alright. You may go," she says.

I hold back a smile and I see Cartman do the same. Ms Clarke walks off and we both exchange wide grins before bursting into a fit of laughter.

"That was awesome!" Cartman cries, chuckling.

"Yeah. You're so good at lying and making up things that it's almost unbelievable!" I cry, giggling.

Cartman chuckles again before grinning. "Well let's go."

I suddenly frown. "Whoa, wait what?" I ask.

"I'm taking you 'home,'" he replies, bending his two index fingers at the word 'home.'

"Wait, I thought we were just saying that to get out of trouble," I answer.

He chuckles and shakes his head. "You thought wrong, my little Jew. We're getting out of this shithole. You coming or not?"

I start to recall the first time we skipped class together and I remember it didn't turn out well…

"I don't know. Last time-"

"Kahl, please," he interrupts me, his voice soft but slightly stern. "I promise this time will be better. There'll be no arguing, no fighting. We'll just have fun."

I scoff. "Oh yeah? And how are you going to make sure we don't fight?" I ask playfully, already making my decision.

He smirks. "If we start to fight, I'll slap you, you slap me and we'll stop."

I laugh aloud. "Alright, deal."

I feel a smile appear on my face as his face lights up.

"So you're coming?" he asks, just making sure.

I nod. "You're going to have to help me though. My ankle's still pretty sore."

He chuckles and flashes me a grin before sidling up to me, causing my heartbeat to increase.

"Don't worry. I'll help you, you poor weak little Jew." He smirks and I punch his arm lightly, trying to glare at him though only managing laughter.

Without expecting it, Cartman wraps his arm around my shoulders and holds onto my arm closest to him with his free hand, pretending to help me.

My temperature sky rockets at his touch and I feel my cheeks burn.

He chuckles again and I look away, trying desperately to hide my reddened face from his view, without much success. He releases my arm to place his fingers softly around my chin so he can turn my face towards him.

I meet his eyes and gasp. God dammit, his face is so close, the closest it's ever been to mine! Those eyes… they're so dazzling. And those lips… are so tempting. Oh god, he's killing me right now! I just need to move a couple of centimetres forward and…

No, keep control. I must remain in control.

Kissing him now, without knowing how he really feels about me, could destroy the friendship we've just regained, and I don't want to lose him.

Reluctantly, I force myself to tear my eyes away from his, moving away again, feeling awkward. Cartman releases my chin and lets me look away. He then moves his hands away from me altogether, to my secret disappointment. I liked the warm touch of his skin…

"Uh, let's go then," he says awkwardly.

I nod and smile up at him. We head quietly to the back door of the school and slip outside without being seen.

Grinning widely, the two of us exit the school grounds, sighing with relief that we escaped unseen, not in the mood to explain to teachers how I 'hurt' my ankle.

"So where are we really going?" I ask curiously.

Cartman glances down at me, grinning. "My house."

I blink slowly before shrugging. "Okay, sure."

I was expecting us to go somewhere a bit more exciting, but I guess his house is alright.

We walk together down the familiar streets of South Park, watching absentmindedly as the regular snow comes down, many unique snowflakes clear in sight.

I giggle as a snowflake lands on my nose and melts into my skin, causing a small cool sensation there.

I absently glance up at Cartman and notice loads of snowflakes stuck in his messy brown hair. I feel the urge to run my hand through and remove the snow, but I restrain myself.

We walk in a comfortable silence and reach his house in a matter of minutes. Cartman opens the front door and walks in ahead of me. I absently notice his mom's car isn't in the driveway but I don't ask about it.

We head inside. I gaze around the place, noticing nothing's changed since the last time I've been here. I shrug off my coat and hang it up over Cartman's. He doesn't seem to notice and instead leads me into the living room where his Xbox is left on from the last time he played.

I recognize instantly that it's Nazi Zombies on 'Call of Duty.'

"Wanna play?" he asks, shoving a controller in my hand before I can answer.

I nod anyway and take a seat next to him on the sofa. He starts the game again and we begin.

I quickly get absorbed in the game as my character runs through the building shooting every zombie in sight, killing dozens.

As my character runs through the building, I notice Cartman's character following me, seeming to be watching my back. I smile at the screen, finding it sweet that Cartman's looking out for me, even if it is just in the game.

Finally Cartman's character gets killed by a large mass of zombies and Cartman smacks his leg in anger. My character doesn't live much longer after that, having no Cartman to protect me any longer, and I die less than five minutes later.

"Hard luck," Cartman says, grinning. "I guess you're not too good when you're all by yourself in a house full of zombies."

"Shut up. I lived longer than you!" I reply, smirking.

He scoffs. "That's only 'cause I was protecting your sorry ass for the entire game, Jew!" he says, chuckling when I frown.

"Why?" I ask.

He gives me a blank look. "Why what?"

"Why were you protecting me throughout the game?" I ask.

He blinks, staring at me blankly. He then shrugs. "I don't know. I guess I just needed you alive to-"

He suddenly goes quiet as he's interrupted by a loud, growling noise that erupts from my stomach, confusing him momentarily.

We stare at each other for a brief moment before we both burst into laughter, throwing our heads back in unison.

"What the fuck was that?" he cries through laughter, joyful tears pricking his eyes.

I laugh louder. "I'm hungry! It's not my fault!"

He wipes his tears from his eyes and gradually controls his laughter, still softly chuckling breathlessly.

I control my own laughter too and we grin at each other.

"You and your freaky Jew noises," he says, shaking his head while smirking.

I punch him feebly in the arm and he laughs again. "Well I guess I better go get you something to eat," he says, grinning at me while getting to his feet. "Anything in particular that you want?"

"No," I smile back. "Thanks."

He winks, sending my heart into a wild joyful rampage, and then heads into the kitchen, leaving me by myself for a while.

As I lean back on the cosy sofa and close my tired eyes, my mind begins to wander. I start to think back over the last few weeks.

A thought suddenly occurs to me and I sigh sadly. Today I was just so happy to see Cartman again and talk to him again that I didn't even think about why I stopped hanging out with him in the first place…

Cartman started that rumour around the school about me being gay. He's the reason I'm being ripped on and treated differently these days. It's all his fault…

Why am I acting this way around him? Why did I hug him today and tell him I've missed him? Why did I laugh and mess with him only moments ago? Why am I in his house playing video games with him?

I'm treating him more like a friend than ever before, despite everything. If anything, I should hate him more than I did. How am I acting this way towards him?

Seconds later, Cartman enters the room again, carrying two plates and handing me one before sitting next to me.

"It's a tortilla," he tells me as he sits. "There's nothing you're not able to eat in it, don't worry. Everything in there is 100% Kahl-friendly."

He smiles at me and I mumble a quick thanks, barely even looking at my plate, too wrapped up in my own thoughts. From the corner of my eye, I see a slightly hurt look cross Cartman's face as he notices me barely looking at the food he so kindly prepared for me. I feel like such an asshole.

I quickly look down at the wrap and then smile up at Cartman. "It looks delicious," I say, and he grins.

I take a bite and smile happily. It really is tasty. I practically wolf the first few bites down before I slow down a bit.

Cartman watches me as I eat, seeming to be proud of his food, and I glance back at him. We eat in silence until both of our plates are clean and we lean back on the sofa, feeling quite full, breathing softly.

In the silence between us, my mind again reminds me of what Cartman did to me all those weeks ago, ruining my close-to-perfect life in school.

I glance at him, seeing his eyes closed as he breathes softly.

"Cartman?"

He cracks open an eye briefly before closing it again. "Mm?"

"Umm… can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he mumbles quickly, still leaving his eyes closed.

"Uh, remember that rumour from-"

He opens both his eyes instantly and stares at me, eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Kahl, please don't start this again. I'm not in the mood."

"Well I don't really want to talk about it either!" I cry, then exhale a sigh. "But we have to."

He groans. "No, we fucking don't, Kahl. Drop it. Right now."

I frown. "No, Cartman! We do need to talk about it! I don't know why I did it, but for some reason I accepted you back as a friend today without even thinking about what you did to me in the first place! But now I've been thinking about it and we need to talk about this!"

"This is myhouse, Kahl! **My** house!" Cartman suddenly snaps, his voice sharper than I expected. "If I say we're not talking about it, then we don't!"

"Fucking hell, Cartman!" I cry. "Why won't you talk about it?"

"Because I don't want to, you fucking Jew!" he shouts, glaring at me. "Is that so hard to understand?"

"There has to be an actual reason why you refuse to talk about it!" I cry. "Is it because you're too afraid to admit that you started it? Is that it? Well, Cartman!"

"God dammit, Kahl! I did **not **start that fucking rumour! If you say that I did again, I'll break your neck!"

"Why won't you just admit it?" I shout. "I'm sick of your lies. Why can't you just tell me the truth for once in your life? Your cruel, sick life!"

"Don't," he snaps, his voice venomous. "Don't even go there, you filthy Jew! You know **nothing** about my life! **Nothing**."

"I know plenty about your life!" I disagree. "I know you're a fat sick asshole who loves only himself and no one else, and who lives with your dirty whore of a mother who cares nothing about you, and I know the only way for you to be happy is to cause others pain and be hated by everyone! You thrive on people's hatred towards you! You're a sick fuck and I hate you!"

I scream the last part and I slam my balled-up fist on the table in front of me as I glare hatefully at Cartman, who stares back, eyes dark and narrowed and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Get out of here, Kahl," he says, his dark eyes pinned on me, his voice low and icy, sending a range of goose bumps across my arms.

I linger my glare on him for a moment longer before I get to my feet, feeling my anger pierce my veins as I stare at him, before I avert my gaze and stomp out of the room, my glare never faltering.

I reach the front door and don't hesitate to exit the house, this most likely being the last time I'll ever set foot inside this mess of a house, belonging to a child no less evil than the devil himself.

I slam the door behind me, causing a loud bang, which the neighbours could surely hear. I then make my way towards the front of the garden.

I notice, at the corner of my eye, as I reach the end of the small garden that a large, colourful piece of paper is sticking out from underneath the lid of Cartman's green bin. I blink slowly, watching as the wind threatens to take it from the bin and let it soar through the air, ending up somewhere and littering a street as it blows across the ground.

I sigh and approach the bin, carefully taking out the piece of paper to throw it in properly. My eyes absently take a glimpse at the paper and I suddenly freeze.

I release the lid of the bin and hold the sheet of paper with both hands, trying to keep it straight as the strong wind whips against it, curling the corners and threatening to knock it from my hands.

I manage to hold it tightly and my widening eyes cast over the entire sheet, my mouth slowly dropping open as I study it thoroughly.

At the top of the sheet, written in black pen, are the words: _'My Art Project' by Eric Cartman._

Just below the words is a large red 'F' written by the Art teacher.

Below that… is the actual picture. The picture, drawn perfectly by Cartman, shows a boy, small and slim, wearing denim jeans and an orange jacket. He's sitting down on the snowy ground in front of Stark's Pond, under the bright moonlight. The boy is staring my way, smiling beautifully while his large green eyes glisten under the light of the moon.

Atop his head is a green ushanka, slightly falling off his head as his head is tilted slightly to the left, revealing curly red hair underneath…

Below the picture the words, written in bright blue marker, read:

'_Project Theme: My life._

_Drawing description: Kyle Broflovski._

_Evaluation: Kyle Broflovski is my life.'_

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_I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter. I really loved writing it. Well, I love writing this whole story but this chapter in particular was a lot of fun!_

_It's my summer holidays now. Three months of freedom! So hopefully I'll update this more often. _

_Review please. xxx_


	11. Chapter 11

I stare… I do nothing but stare. This sheet of paper in my hands confuse me more than anything else in the world.

I'm trying to make sense of it all, though I'm failing miserably. Those words _'Kyle Broflovski is my life'_… they form such a simple sentence, yet they puzzle me more than anything.

I'm tempted to go back inside, to consult Cartman and get the answers I need.

… But I can't. My mind is whirling. Even if Cartman _did_ want to explain, I wouldn't be able to comprehend a single word he'd say.

I doubt he'd want to explain anything to me anyway. No matter how many times I'd ask, he wouldn't give in. He's somewhat patient in that sense, yet at the same time he's not. He gets impatient and irritated if someone keeps pestering him to say or do something he doesn't want to do. Then he loses his temper and all hell breaks loose.

After another couple of minutes of standing out in the cold, I decide to finally move. I can't take this much longer. My head is spinning and I need to rest it before I faint.

Without a second's hesitation, I clutch the sheet of paper to my chest, cradling it, and run. I run out of the garden and away from the Cartman household, both eager to leave, eager to stay. My mind is too messed up to think about which I want more, not that I have a choice now. I'm not coming back.

I reach my house in just over five minutes, never decreasing my speed or stopping to rest. My heart is thumping wildly in my chest and I'm gasping for air, panting heavily.

Once I get my breath back, I knock on the door, not wanting my Mom to ask questions.

Ike opens the door and cocks an eyebrow at me, looking suspicious.

"Where have you been, Kyle?" he asks, sounding just like our mom. "I saw you leaving school early today. With Cartman, I might add."

I stare at him, trying to appear calm though I'm tensing up inside. I was sure no one had seen us. How did he…?

Well, I suppose it _is_ Ike. He's just… like that. He knows things he shouldn't, yet I still don't know how. I don't care too much about how he knows though. I'm more worried about…

"Don't worry, I'm not going to tell Mom," he says, as if reading my mind.

I breathe a sigh of relief, all my tension gradually fading away to nothing.

"Thanks, little brother," I say, shooting him a grateful smile.

He shrugs it off and steps aside to let me in. "You know, you still didn't answer my question," he says, closing the door behind me. "Where did you go?"

I shrug, trying to act as if it's no big deal. "Just hung around the town. Didn't do much."

"Why were you with Cartman?" he asks, eying me curiously. "I thought you hated him."

"I do!" I cry, without thinking. "I just… I…"

I trail off, having no clue what to say. My mind is still pretty messed up. I'm not in a great thinking mood.

Thankfully, Ike doesn't push me for an answer. He drops it completely and moves into the kitchen, leaving me standing in the hallway, confused.

I shrug and then slowly drag myself upstairs, still cradling the sheet of paper to my chest, as if it will leave me if I don't hold it close.

I'm surprised Ike didn't ask me anything about it. Surely he'd be curious to know what it is and why I'm practically clinging to it. Maybe he didn't want to pry _too_ much. Maybe he cares about my privacy.

Or maybe he noticed I'm not exactly thinking straight and so he's saving the question for later.

Or maybe he thinks it's just a stupid school thing and I'm minding it.

The last seems the most likely, considering it's me.

I finally reach the top of the stairs and head into my bedroom, closing the door behind me before collapsing onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling while my brain fries slowly inside my head.

I breathe out a deep sigh, wanting to be able to understand. My life is a jumbled mess right now, with school, with friends, with Cartman. All I want is to be able to fix it, to have my old life back, where everything was pretty awesome.

I want to go back to my childhood years, to when I was about nine. Though I thought my life even sucked back then, I now know I was wrong. Sure, life was a bit crazy and over the top (huge understatement) but I'd much rather deal with talking poo and a big Mecha Streisand any day than what I have to deal with now.

South Park was, and always will be, a crazy town but life wasn't so bad as a kid. I still had fun and I had less worries. I had no stupid feelings or thoughts to ruin my day.

I had the most amazing friends who never judged me and I hated Eric Cartman with such a passion that liking him was a complete impossibility.

Then, somehow, that all changed. High School came and everyone started believing things other people said, even if they were your best friends. Everyone began drifting apart.

I fell in love with the person I least wanted to fall for, the boy I thought I'd despise for an eternity. Then the relationship between us grew to a warm friendship, though there were still ups and downs.

Then I found a picture drawn by that 'friend' saying that I am his… life.

And now I'm confused. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what to do or what to believe. For all I know, this could be a trick, just to hurt me. It seems like the most likely solution.

Cartman could possibly have realised my feelings for him; he's pretty good at reading people. Then he could use this vital piece of knowledge as a way to hurt me and to break me apart.

Maybe he knew I'd find his art project. Maybe that's why it was clearly sticking out of his bin. He knew that I'd think he loves me and I'd give him my heart, just so he can break it into a million pieces along the line.

I'm not going to let that happen though, because even if I know his plan before it happens, it'll still hurt me to hear him say whatever words he thinks up to hurt me. I will snap, despite knowing beforehand, and I won't be able to handle it.

I can barely handle it right now. I feel as if both my head and heart are ready to explode. I need to rest… I don't want to think any more for the rest of the night.

One final thing that I'm sure of though, before I sleep, is that I can't be near Cartman anymore. He's planning to break me and I can't let that happen, for my own sake.

For at least a _chance_ to prevent him from breaking me, I need to avoid him for as long as possible. I don't want to see his face again. I don't need this. I deserve more.

I know this has failed before but this time, it's different. This time, I know just how much of an evil asshole he really is. He's planning something terrible and I _need _to stay away from him. I may not like it. I may have experienced his absence before and not been able to handle it. But I need to this time. I'll stay strong because I know that if I don't, he'll ruin me.

Cartman may pretend that I am his life, but to me, he truly is my life, and he shouldn't be. I shouldn't be so in love with him. I can do so much better.

And maybe, with time, if I can stay clear of Cartman, my love for him will fade and I'll fall for someone else, someone more deserving of my love.

With time… Time is all I need. Let's just hope I have it before Cartman finds the perfect chance to get me and destroy me, until there's absolutely nothing left but a lifeless body, an empty soul and a broken heart…

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	12. Chapter 12

"Last night, I had a terrible sleep. I kept tossing and turning all night," I say, glancing over at my best friend behind the wheel before I gaze back out the window again, absently watching the town whizzing by. Stan keeps his eyes on the road, his hands firmly gripping the steering wheel.

Stan got his license a couple of months ago and his dad sometimes lets him drive his car, today being one of those days.

I called Stan this morning and told him I wasn't taking the bus, for obvious Cartman reasons, though I didn't tell Stan that. He offered to drive me to school in his dad's car, which I gratefully accepted.

Stan isn't actually a huge fan of driving. He was thrilled when he got his license but now he isn't fond of it. He tenses up a bit while driving, terrified of crashing. Cartman often rips on him for it, which can actually be quite funny, though I really don't want to think about him right now.

"Aww, that sucks, dude," he answers, listening though keeping most of his attention on the road. "Why's that?"

I shrug, but then remember he's not looking at me. "I don't know," I lie. "Just having a bad week is all."

"Oh. Well next week should be better," he says, trying to comfort me, though unfortunately it doesn't work. I know next week won't be better. It will get better eventually but not as soon as next week.

"Thanks, dude," I answer anyway, not wanting him to worry about me.

He smiles. "So why didn't you want to get the bus today anyway?"

I freeze. I was hoping he wouldn't ask me that.

"Oh, I… uhh… I just…"

I trail off, unsure of what to say.

As Stan stops at a red light, he gets the chance to glance over at me, seeming to notice I'm uncomfortable. He drops the question and changes the subject.

"So… uhh… can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I reply, eager to switch subjects.

"Umm… you know the way everyone in school is saying you're… uhh… gay?"

I frown out the window, almost regretting accepting Stan's offer to let him drive us to school. I should have just walked.

"Stan, it's just a stupid rumour, okay?" I snap. "I don't want to talk about it."

"…So, you're not gay?" he asks me, eying me curiously.

"No!" I cry, my voice louder than intended, slightly startling him.

"Okay, dude, okay," he says, smiling as if it's no big deal.

I sigh and gaze out the window again, feeling annoyed at Stan for no good apparent reason.

Finally, to my delight, we finally arrive at school and Stan parks inside, where the student parking lot is. I jump out of the car, a little too quickly, eager for some fresh air.

Stan doesn't seem to notice and he gets out of the car at his own pace, locking it before stuffing the keys in his jacket pocket.

We head up to the door in silence and walk in.

Once I'm done at my locker, I head to my first class, Chemistry, which unfortunately, to my luck, Cartman is also in. I walk into the lab, smiling in relief when I see Cartman's not here yet, and take a seat.

I absently look back over the chapter we're currently on and study silently. I barely have to wait three minutes until I see a flash of red at the corner of my eye and I look up to see Cartman standing near me, looking around for a seat, wearing his favourite red jacket as usual.

He catches my eye for a brief moment before I quickly avert my gaze, feeling anger bubble up inside me as I recall his plan.

At that moment, our teacher Ms Kaye walks in and tells everyone to take their seats. Seeing no other spare seat nearby, Cartman takes the seat next to me, to my deep disapproval.

"S'up, Jew?" he greets me icily as he sits. I guess he's still angry about yesterday. Well, that's good. It'll make it easier for me to ignore him.

"Okay, class, I'm sure you all revised that experiment I gave you the last day for homework, right?" Ms Kaye says. "Now I'd like you all to carry it out in pairs, with the person sitting next to you."

I quickly glance the opposite way of Cartman but the boy beside me has paired up with the person on his left. Cartman is at the edge of the table, which means I'm the only one beside him, which means we're stuck together. Just my luck.

Well I won't have to talk to him. We'll just do the experiment and get it over with.

"Listen, Jew, I'm really not in the mood to talk to you right now but I have no idea what we're meant to do so you have to help me."

I scoff. I should have known he wouldn't learn his homework. Like I'm going to help him.

He shoots me a glare. "Just tell me what we have to fucking do, Kahl."

I sigh loudly. I guess I will have to talk to him after all.

But, I swear, that after this class, I'm avoiding him for life.

"Fill these two test tubes with water and then I'll explain what to do next," I tell him, shoving the two pieces of equipment in his hands. "Only fill them about halfway."

I start to do the rest, slowly and carefully, remembering the method of the experiment I learned on Saturday night.

Cartman returns moments later and I tell him what to do next, making sure to give him the easy tasks for fear of him making a mistake and ruining the chance of me getting an A.

By the look on his face, he seems to not be fond of the idea of me bossing him around but he obeys anyway, knowing he has no other choice.

We finish the experiment before anyone else and we sit down in our seats, saying nothing for the first few minutes, watching the others in our class as they fiddle around with the apparatus, most people having no clue what they're doing.

"We're getting an A for sure," Cartman says, smirking while watching Bebe nearly trip while carrying a retort stand.

"And who's that all thanks to?" I ask, looking over at him as he glances back, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah yeah, you. Whatever," he mutters, and I can't help but grin slightly.

Ms Kaye finally notices we're done, after not realising we've been just sitting here for ten minutes, and she comes over to observe.

"Wow, well done, boys, and very quick too," she comments. "You two clearly work well together."

Cartman and I share a look of astonishment as we both think of how so very wrong this woman is.

"You each get an A," she says. "Well done."

With that, she walks away, leaving the two of us to continue to stare incredulously at each other.

"Did she seriously just say that we work well together?" Cartman asks.

"She clearly doesn't know us at all," I reply, laughing at the very thought.

Of course we don't work well together. We despise each other. I hate Cartman so much that in the next ten minutes, I'm going to remove him from my life completely. How's _that _for working well together?

"We did manage to get an A together though," Cartman points out. "And we didn't fight."

I shrug. "That's true, I guess."

It is true that we didn't argue while working together. Cartman was on surprisingly good behaviour today and didn't complain when I was telling him what to do, though maybe he's doing that on purpose.

Maybe that's all part of his plan. Maybe he's acting nicer to me to make me think he really does like me, so then I'll fall harder for him so he can break me.

Well I'm not letting any of that happen. I know Cartman's plan and I won't let my guard down.

"Why the hell are you glaring at me?" he suddenly asks, warping me from my thoughts and back to reality.

I blink in surprise as I realise I've been glaring at him while so absorbed in my thoughts. I feel my cheeks redden and I quickly avert my gaze.

"N-no reason," I mumble, focusing my eyes elsewhere.

I feel Cartman's eyes linger on me for a moment longer before finally looking away, leaving me at peace.

The bell rings minutes later, signifying the end of class. I note in my head that from this moment on, Cartman means nothing to me. I'm going to avoid him from now on. I'm going to forget the past and move on, leaving all memories of Cartman behind me.

I quickly leave the classroom and head to my next class, for once feeling happier than I've ever been in a long time.

Lunch arrives soon enough and I wait by Stan's locker for him to finish so we can head down to the cafeteria together.

While standing next to him, I notice a few more people whispering to each other while looking in my direction, no doubt talking about me being gay.

Most people are used to the rumour by now and they don't discuss it anymore, though they still treat me differently to the way they used to, but others still talk about it.

I don't exactly care anymore though. Since I've removed… _him _from my life, I've also removed that stupid rumour from my memory, or tried to at least.

"Alright, I'm done now," Stan tells me, closing his locker. "Cartman and Kenny have probably gone down already to get us a table. Let's-"

"Actually, Stan," I interrupt, "I was hoping you and I could sit together. Just the two of us."

He gives me an odd look. "Why?"

I shrug, at the moment not having a good excuse.

"Is it anything to do with Cartman?" he asks.

I nod, noticeably wincing at the name. Thankfully, Stan doesn't pry about what he's done, to my delight.

"Well I don't mind not sitting with Cartman," he says. "In fact, I love the idea, but I feel bad leaving Kenny out."

"I know," I answer, honestly not wanting to abandon my blonde friend. "But if he sits with us, then the fatass will follow."

Stan nods slowly, thinking hard. "Well, the two of us will just sit together for today and later we'll explain everything to Kenny. Then one of us will let Cartman know we're not sitting with him anymore."

I nod, suddenly recalling a memory. I remember the last time we left Cartman alone, he was sitting at a table, looking sad and lonely. It killed me to see him like that. I don't know if I can bear witnessing it again.

"You know, Stan, just because I'm not sitting with Cartman anymore doesn't mean you and Kenny can't. You two can sit with him whenever you want," I say hopefully.

Stan shakes his head and smiles. "No way, dude. I'd much rather sit with you than Cartman, and I'm sure Kenny will feel the same."

I mentally sigh, the previous memory lingering on my mind, and I gaze down at the ground. "But Cartman will be on his own," I mutter quietly.

I look up in time to see Stan giving me a strange look. "Dude, who cares? Don't you want him to feel alone after whatever it is he did to you?"

I know the answer to that, and unfortunately I can't change it.

"Well, not really," I answer awkwardly, honestly. "I don't exactly want him to be alone. I just want him to stay away from me is all."

Stan stares at me, looking surprised. "Well… uhh… okay, I guess. Maybe Kenny will sit with him sometimes, or we could get Butters to. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

Hmm… I'm pretty sure Butters would be Cartman's least favourite person to sit with at lunch, but I guess it's better than sitting by himself. And I'm sure Butters would love to sit with him. I'm pretty sure the blonde has a secret crush on Cartman.

"Yeah, good idea," I praise my best friend. "Well let's hurry down. I'm starving!"

He smiles and nods. "Race you down!"

Before I can speak a word, he dashes off ahead of me, running. I laugh and don't hesitate to run after him, feeling like a child but loving the feeling.

-/-/-/-/-

Lunch is definitely a lot different today. Stan and I are sitting together at a table two away from where Kenny and Cartman are sitting.

The two of them noticed us not sitting with them but Cartman seems too into his food to really care. Kenny, on the other hand, occasionally glances back at us, a questioning look on his face. Stan mouths the words 'later' and eventually Kenny understands and returns to his conversation with Cartman. Stan and I are silent for the first few minutes of lunch, unsure of what to talk about.

As I munch quietly on my sandwich, I suddenly hear my name being mentioned at the table behind me, coming out in a hushed tone though I can hear nearly perfectly. It sounds like Bebe's voice though I can't be sure, and I'm not going to look back to find out.

"Yeah, I think they're going out," the same voice says. "They've been best friends for years now so it doesn't surprise me that they're finally dating."

"What! Kyle and Stan! No way!" another female voice cries out in surprise. "They aren't seriously dating, are they?"

"I think they are. They're not sitting with Kenny and Cartman today. They're sitting alone at a table."

I have to use all my power to not turn around and yell at the girls behind me. They actually think I'm dating _Stan!_ Sick, dude!

"They are _not _dating, you guys," a familiar voice speaks up. Wendy Testaburger. "I _am _still with Stan, you know, and I know he's not gay. Just because he and Kyle are sitting alone together doesn't mean anything. They're best friends. And maybe they just had a fight with Kenny and Cartman or something."

A smile slowly spreads on my face. Wendy is seriously the only sensible girl in our school.

"Dude, what are you smiling at?" Stan asks me, breaking my train of thought.

"Nothing," I reply quickly, not wanting to tell him I've been eavesdropping on his girlfriend and her friends' conversation.

He continues to eat and I allow my mind to wander, stopping myself from accidentally eavesdropping again. The rest of the school day passes quite quickly and I'm relieved when we're able to go home again. I finish at my locker slower than usual, finding myself in no rush. Today was a pretty good day, excluding the first class, and so I'm not hurrying to leave.

I take my time exiting the building, feeling happier than usual, before I suddenly remember the bus. Without a moment's hesitation, I sprint off through the school grounds, trying to reach the bus in time but knowing it's too late. I glance down at my watch and realise the bus must have already left by now.

I stop running and kick the ground angrily, cursing quietly. Stan offered to give me a lift home this morning when I was at his house but I told him I'd get the bus. I regret that now.

As I slowly make my way out of the school grounds, heading towards the gate, I hear a door open a few yards behind me. I stop and turn around to see a teacher talking to a student, though I'm too far away to hear anything they're saying. The teacher says one last thing before shutting the door and letting the student head home.

The boy turns around and starts heading my way, though he hasn't spotted me yet, and I suddenly realise that it's Cartman. I curse again and quickly begin to walk, praying to God that he won't see me.

I reach the gate in a matter of seconds, smiling as I realise he still hasn't spotted me yet, until my luck turns.

As I'm looking back over my shoulder, making sure he hasn't seen me yet, I suddenly slip on a small patch of ice and fall flat on my face, the coldness of the snow beneath me sending shivers throughout my body.

The heaviness of my schoolbag atop my back makes it hard for me to get up straight away and as I move my right foot, I feel a sharp pain pierce me.

I groan and just lie where I am, too sore and cold to move. I shiver wildly as I lift my face off the snow, my face feeling so cold that it numbs me.

"Kahl?" a familiar voice suddenly says from behind me, startling me.

I only groan in response, unable to speak from the coldness throughout my entire body.

"Kahl, god dammit. You stupid clumsy Jew, come here."

I suddenly feel two hands move under my arms and slowly lift me off the ground, my schoolbag falling off in the process. I'm suddenly back on my feet again and leaning back against Cartman for balance. I begin shivering again, many pieces of snow stuck all over me, and I feel my teeth chattering loudly.

"Jesus, Kahl, here," Cartman says, letting go of me with one hand while shrugging off his red jacket until it's off and he's holding it in his free hand.

He hands it to me and I eventually get my balance and can stand properly. I stare down at the jacket and then back up at Cartman, surprised and puzzled.

"Just put it on, Jew," he says.

I mentally sigh. I really shouldn't do this. I'm supposed to be avoiding Cartman, pretending he's a stranger, yet here he is, helping me off the ground and giving me his favourite jacket.

I shouldn't really accept it but I'm just so cold right now. If I stay the way I am any longer, I'll catch pneumonia.

Reluctantly, yet also eagerly, I put on Cartman's jacket, breathing a sigh of deep contentment as warmth begins to flood through my body, warming me up in an instant.

Cartman seems amused at my sigh and smirks slightly. "So you understand now why it's my favourite jacket, right?"

I nod, completely understanding.

He chuckles. "It looks huge on you."

I look down and laugh when I realise he's right. It _does _look pretty big on me.

Cartman smirks wider for a brief moment before it suddenly fades, being replaced by a curious stare.

"So, Kahl, why have you been avoiding me today?"

I stare at him, surprised by the question. I decide to play dumb. "What do you mean, Cartman?"

"Cut the crap, Kahl. You know what I'm talking about. Besides the first class, you've been avoiding me. You didn't even sit with me and Kenny at lunch. Why? Is it because of last night?"

I sigh, knowing I can't avoid the question. I might as well tell him the truth.

"No," I say.

He frowns. "No what?"

"No, it's not because of last night," I say.

"Well then why are you avoiding me?" he presses, eager for an answer.

"When I was walking out of your garden, I found something sticking out of your green bin."

He stares at me strangely, looking slightly amused. "What was it?"

"This," I say, bending down to search through my schoolbag. I find what I'm looking for and pull it out, revealing his art project.

His mouth drops open and he gapes at the sheet of paper I'm holding, his eyes widened.

"H-how…" He leaves the question hanging in the air.

"I told you. I saw something sticking out of your bin. I went to put it back in but then I saw what it was and I took it," I explain, watching as all the blood drains from his face.

He finally averts his eyes from the page to look at me, his eyes slowly narrowing.

"Why the fuck did you take it, Kahl? I threw it away. No one was meant to see it."

"The hell with that!" I cry, glaring at him. "I know your plan, Cartman. I know everything. It's not going to work on me."

He frowns. "Plan? What the hell are you talking about, Jew?"

"You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about, fatass."

"No, I actually don't, Kahl," he says.

I scoff. "You're pathetic, Cartman, you know that? Only _you_ would go to all this trouble just to mess with my feelings. Only _you _would do anything you could just to break me. Well it's not going to work. I'm well informed on your plan."

He stares at me, various different emotions crossing his face. "Kahl, I-"

"Shut up, Cartman!" I interrupt sharply. "I don't want to hear it. I am _sick _and _tired _of your stupid lies and your ways to hurt me. I've decided that I don't want to deal with it anymore, and this time, I mean it."

Cartman frowns. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you're no longer a part of my life, for real this time. I'm avoiding you forever and I will _never _accept you back. _Never_!"

Cartman stares at me, his mouth slightly agape and an odd look in his eyes.

"Kahl, I'm not planning anything. I can explain why I drew the picture if you'll just let me."

I shake my head. "No, Cartman. Just please don't talk to me ever again."

With that, I grab my schoolbag off the ground and walk away, desperate to get home and leave my memories with Cartman behind for good…

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	13. Chapter 13

The next day, I decide to walk to school, needing the cool morning air to clear my head. I arrive at school in just less than half an hour and my typical school day begins. I continue to be ripped on by various people about my sexuality. Some people just won't let it go.

Even when hearing people insult me, Stan or Kenny don't even bother to stand up for me or defend me, like best friends should. Instead, they just lower their heads and continue walking, as if pretending they haven't heard.

It's been happening quite regularly now and I'm getting really sick of it. If they were the ones getting ripped on, I'd definitely stand up for _them_. Why can't they do the same for me?

At lunch, Stan and Kenny sit with me, leaving Cartman to sit with Butters. I can clearly notice Stan and Kenny acting different. Neither one of them starts a conversation like they usually would. Both their heads are lowered as they eat quietly. Kenny even isn't using his precious lunch time to stare at girls without them realising it.

After another few minutes of silence, I finally can't take it. I bang my balled-up fist on the table loudly, startling both of them.

"Okay, seriously, guys, what's up?" I say, my voice louder than intended. "Why are you guys acting so weird?"

They both glance at each other, seeming surprised, before looking at me again.

"We're not acting weird," Stan says.

I frown. "Yeah you are! Don't deny it! You guys are so quiet and you're not your usual selves."

They say nothing, only serving to anger me more.

"Why won't you answer me?" I shout, glaring at them both.

Stan meets my eyes, keeping eye contact. "Kyle, we're not trying to hurt you, I promise."

I look away, glaring down at the table. "Well then why are you acting so weird around me?" I ask quietly, remaining calm.

Stan goes quiet and averts his eyes, leaving Kenny to answer.

"Well, it's just that… people are starting to say things about me and Stan since we still hang out with you. They're starting to think we're gay too. Honestly, it's just ruining all my chances with the girls," says Kenny, smiling despite the situation.

"And me with Wendy," Stan adds. "Wendy's a really smart girl but eventually, if people keep saying I'm gay, she'll soon believe it and dump me. I don't want that to happen."

I gawk at them, unable to believe what I'm hearing.

"So you're basically telling me you care more about girls than me," I say, eying both of them.

Stan drops his gaze, a look of guilt crossing his face.

"Kyle, don't put it that way. It sounds harsh," Kenny says. "It's not that you're not important to us. It's just that… You just wouldn't understand."

I stare at him, then at Stan, and then back again. "So it's love over friendship, is that it? Or in your case," I look at Kenny, "sex over friendship."

My two 'friends' both stare at me, various emotions running across their faces.

Without another word, I stand up from my seat, shooting both of them a last glare, before walking away, stomping right out of the cafeteria, feeling various pairs of eyes on me but ignoring them all. I just need to get out of here. I feel tears of frustration prick my eyes, only serving to humiliate me even more.

-/-/-/-/-/-

For the rest of the day, I'm alone, literally alone. I'm avoiding Stan and Kenny and they seem to be doing the same.

I have to admit, today was a surprise for me. I know Cartman could hurt me bad but I never thought my two closest friends in the world would also hurt me. They were meant to be there for me when I needed them, but instead they just turned their backs on me, right when I needed them the most.

I should really hate them. I should despise them, but of course I don't. We've been through way too much for me to suddenly hate them so easily. I just wish I meant as much to them as they mean to me. Clearly I don't.

As hard as it will be, I have to avoid the two of them, along with Cartman, for as long as possible. Stan and Kenny were practically asking for me to leave them alone. It was implied.

I've never felt so alone before. I always thought that, no matter what, I'd always have my friends around, to be there for me when I needed them, Stan especially. I guess I was wrong. I'm alone… and I don't like the feeling.

-/-/-/-/-/-

The next week passes slowly. It's probably been the slowest week in history! Well, for _me _anyway. I've been lonely and miserable and apparently time only goes fast when you're having fun. That explains the slowness.

Stan and Kenny haven't said a word to me or even acknowledged me. And I've done the same with them.

As strange as it is though, despite the fact that Stan and Kenny have been my friends forever and they mean so much to me, my heart still seems to hurt more when I think about Cartman…

It seems pretty selfish, I know. Stan and Kenny, besides the other day, have always been awesome to me and treated me the way friends should.

Cartman, on the other hand, has only ever treated me badly, except for a few rare times. Stan and Kenny deserve to mean more to me than Cartman does. But… I think Cartman might mean more to me…

Is it because I love him that I feel more hurt that he's gone than I feel about Stan and Kenny being gone?

Maybe this is what they meant, well, what Stan meant. Maybe this is why he put Wendy before me. He loves her and so she means more to him than I do.

And Cartman seems to mean more to me than Stan does, as selfish as it sounds. Now that I realise it, I don't hate Stan's decision as much as before. I understand it now.

I'm not sure about Kenny though. He put sex before me, not love…

I suppose it doesn't really matter though. I'm not going back to either of them. They don't want me back anyway.

I just really wish Cartman wasn't such a plotting, scheming, conniving bastard. Then he would still be my 'friend' and I wouldn't be alone. As much as I hate admitting it, I really need Cartman right now… More than I should.

I don't know how to feel anymore. I feel desperate to be near Cartman again, yet I still want Stan and Kenny back.

I feel lonely and confused, as well as hurt. Who knew loneliness could hurt this much?

I also feel sort of… afraid. I'm afraid for the future and what it holds. Will I still be alone? Will I make new friends? Will I finally be happy, or will my sadness remain?

All these questions are for the future but I'm in desperate need of answers. I'm willing to somehow cheat time itself and skip to the future to find the answers I need. Not that I can, of course, but if that opportunity ever arose, I'd jump at it without hesitation.

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Another day passes. For the first time in a very long time, I'm actually dreading the thought of school. For the past few days, I've been telling myself that everything's going to be fine and I have nothing to worry about, and so I managed to go to school in almost my normal everyday mood.

But I can't keep lying to myself any longer. I _know _everything's not going to be okay. I can't tell myself such lies.

And so, I, Kyle Broflovski, the big nerd who loves work and exams, am dreading school…

I walk up again, having no other means of transport besides the bus, and I am _not _taking the bus.

When I finally get to school, I'm alone again, at my locker, my mouth shut as I have no one to talk to. I feel like such a loser, but there's nothing I can do about it. This is how it is.

My first few classes pass quite fast, as I take my mind off all my worries and problems and concentrate on what the teachers are saying.

But now it's lunch, and I feel sick at the thought of going to the cafeteria. I've managed to avoid the cafeteria for the past week. I just stayed in the boys' bathroom for the entire lunch, but I know I can't keep doing that. I need to go down to the normal eating place, before I throw up at the thought of eating in the bathroom again.

I finish at my locker and slowly inhale a deep breath before forcing myself to go down to the cafeteria, my heart beating slightly faster than normal.

I finally reach the see-through glass door of the cafeteria and walk in nervously, feeling numerous pairs of eyes on me, though I ignore them all.

I spot an empty table and take a seat at it, feeling awkward as people stare at me, whispering to each other about me. I force myself to ignore them and I eat my lunch in silence.

Half of lunch passes and I'm feeling lower than ever. I was wrong. I can't simply just ignore the people who are staring and whispering about me. It's impossible to ignore them when they're all around you, feeling as if fully filling your vision.

I feel like crying. There are tears pricking my eyes and I have to keep blinking to stop them from falling, though it's harder than it sounds.

After a few more minutes, I begin to feel a tight knot form in my throat, adding to my difficulty to keep myself from crying.

Suddenly, when I feel like I just can't take it anymore, someone suddenly appears in the seat opposite me, startling me. I then realise this person is here to ruin my day further.

Cartman. The person whose fault all of this is. Everything that's happening to me now to make me hate my life is all because of him. If he didn't start that stupid rumour, none of this would have happened. I wouldn't be lonely or depressed. I'd be fairly happy.

Cartman ruined it. He ruined everything.

"Kahl, we need to talk," the brunet boy says, studying me closely, his tone serious.

Without a word, I stand up to leave, eager to get away from him, but before I can, Cartman reaches across the table and grabs my arm, slowly walking around the table until he's standing next to me.

"We need to talk," he repeats himself, frowning down at me, a determined tone to his voice.

I reluctantly look up at him, seeing by the look on his face that he won't take no for an answer, not that I'm going to give in.

I try to yank my arm from his grip but he's holding me firmly, his nails digging into my skin painfully. I glare up at him, seeing him swiftly return it.

"Kahl, we need to-" He suddenly goes quiet, confusing me, but when I see him swivel his head around the entire cafeteria and I follow his gaze, I realise nearly everyone in the cafeteria is staring right at us, eavesdropping in the process. I stare wide-eyed while Cartman shoots them all glares before his eyes return to rest on me.

"Come on!" he snaps, dragging me forcefully with him as he begins walking, or stomping rather, out of the cafeteria, many pairs of eyes following us as we leave.

I struggle in Cartman's hold, though only half-heartedly as I want to get out of there too, not that I want to be with Cartman somewhere else though. He continues to forcefully haul me along with him, his firm grip on my arm never loosening, not even slightly.

It's only when Cartman brings me out to the field behind the school does he loosen his grip on my arm. I seize the opportunity to yank it away and glare hatefully up at him, anger bubbling up inside me, temporarily replacing my loneliness and depression.

"Kahl, I need to talk to you," he says for the millionth time, well, the third or fourth time but it feels like the millionth!

"No, you don't," I disagree, turning around and starting to walk away.

He quickly grabs my shoulder firmly and swings me back around until I'm facing him again. He starts to speak but I interrupt.

"_You _wouldn't talk when I wanted to talk last week so why should I talk when _you _want to now?" I shout, continuing to glare.

Cartman stares at me, his eyes meeting mine, before exhaling a sigh, lowering his head slightly. "Kahl, I'm sorry for that, alright? I'm sorry I wouldn't talk when you wanted to but I really need to talk to you right now."

I shake my head.

"Kahl, please. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I kicked you out of my house. It was wrong, I know. Just talk to me, will you?" he cries, practically pleading with his eyes.

I groan and start to walk away again, not wanting to look at him anymore. As expected, Cartman stops me again and I'm forced to look in his direction, seeming to have no other choice.

He keeps both his hands on my shoulders, holding them gently, so I could easily shake them off if I wanted to, but for some reason I don't.

He meets my eyes again and our gaze seems to lock for the next few minutes. I see a look of determination and pleading in his eyes and I feel unable to look away.

"Kahl, why won't you forgive me?" Cartman asks softly, surprising me.

Before I get even more lost in his eyes and completely lose myself to him, I force myself to look away, with difficulty, and I take a step back as I stare at the ground, his hands falling from my shoulders.

"I do forgive you, Cartman," I reply quietly, before starting to walk away again. "I do."

This time, instead of grabbing me again, he moves in front of me, blocking my path.

"If you forgive me, why are you still avoiding me?" he asks, frowning.

"I forgive you for _those _reasons," I answer. "I forgive you for not talking to me when I wanted to and I forgive you for kicking me out of your house. But… the thing you're planning… I could never forgive you for it."

His frown deepens. "Kahl, I still don't know what you're talking about. _What _plan?"

"I know you're planning to hurt me, to **break **me, more likely. You want to toy with my emotions and mess with my heart. You somehow found out or realised my stupid fucked-up feelings for you so you tricked me into finding the picture so I'd think you liked me back and then I'd eventually give you my heart, just so you could break it into a million and one pieces," I say, tears now spilling down my cheeks, no matter how hard I try to hold them back.

There's silence for the next few minutes, before Cartman finally speaks. "You're wrong, Kahl," he replies. "I never planned that, or _anything, _for that matter. I have nothing planned. I'm not going to hurt you."

I can't bear this. I begin to sob uncontrollably, unable to control my pain any longer. How dare he completely deny it when he knows I know everything? He's still trying to break my heart and so he's playing innocent, so that maybe I'll believe him and think I was wrong.

Well, he's wrong for thinking that.

I can't hear any more of his lies. They're already causing my heart to ache. I can't allow him to fully break it.

I turn for the last time and walk away, this time not being stopped by Cartman. I feel empty inside, empty of life. I don't know how much longer I can live like this…

I swear on my life, that I never ever want to see Eric Cartman's face again.

I **mean **it…

At the very thought, I burst into more floods of tears and I don't even try to hold back the tears that are now freely spilling down my cheeks…

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_Sorry if I'm boring you with Kyle's repetitive moaning and stuff. You'll like the next chapter though. I'll try to update soon. :D_

_Review, please! xxx_


	14. Chapter 14

The next morning, I feign illness to my mom, feeling too upset to go to school. I don't want to see Cartman's face again. I can't bear seeing him. It'll only hurt me more. My heart feels close to breaking…

I don't want to see Stan or Kenny either, for the same reason. Just seeing them hurts me. I'd much rather stay at home and try to take my mind off things.

My mom believes me when I say I'm sick. I'm not usually sick so on the odd day that I say I am, she nearly always believes me. Besides, with the little sleep I've been getting lately, I probably look like death anyway. My mom allows me to stay in and not go to school, as long as I catch up on my schoolwork and study in bed.

I don't do anything at all for the entire day. I just lie on my bed, gazing up at the ceiling, many thoughts running through my mind.

My life completely sucks right now. All I feel is sorrow and pain, not one trace of happiness seeming to be present inside me. I've never felt like this before. I didn't think I ever would. I feel like my life is meaningless and the thought of ending it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I've always been the type of person who would much rather stay strong, always telling myself I can get through whatever bad things are coming my way. But right now, I'm just not that person anymore.

Even though suicide does seem like a blessing right now, I'm not going to stoop that low. I _am_ stronger than that. I feel suicide is almost selfish. It would really upset my family, the only ones who seem to care about me, and I don't want to hurt them. They don't deserve it.They love me and they're the only ones right now keeping me from giving up.

I almost hate them for that. If they hated me like everyone else does, I could end my life and be free from all this pain and no one would mind or feel hurt at all.

But that isn't the case. I have to stay alive and somehow remain strong. I have to toughen it out until I'm finally free from all this pain. That could be days, weeks, months, maybe even a year or more. But I can try, as hard as I can.

I have a feeling I'll fail though. I'm constantly on the verge of tears. I'm on the edge of breaking down and there's no one here to save me.

My life seems utterly meaningless right now. I feel empty and broken. I may have said that I won't let Cartman break my heart, that I won't let his plan succeed, but I think it's too late. Though his plan didn't go the way he and I both thought it would, he still managed to break me, with some help from everyone else around me.

The hurt I feel from Cartman's plan and everything else he's done, as well as Stan and Kenny completely abandoning me, along with everyone in school who's always ripping on me, I've finally snapped.

I can actually feel my heart torn in two and it's not a pleasant feeling. It's all Cartman's fault. He ruined my life. I can't bear the pain…

-/-/-/-/-/

For the next few days, I remain in bed, honestly feeling sick now. I don't have to pretend.

My head is throbbing, my stomach feels heavy and there's an unstoppable burning feeling inside my chest where my heart is located, and it won't go away.

I've barely moved at all since the first day I missed school. I've been lying still atop my bed, staring at the ceiling for hours on end.

My mom, dad or sometimes Ike have been spoon-feeding me at my bedside and making me drink through a straw. They've all been telling me, almost forcing me, to at least leave my bed and walk around or go downstairs, but I completely refuse to. I get up to go to the toilet every few hours but other than that, I stay motionless on my bed.

My phone constantly rings though I don't answer the calls. I don't even look at the phone. I know who's calling though. Every one of my 'friends' has a different ring tone for when they're calling me.

Most calls have been from Cartman, though a good few others have been from Stan or Kenny. I don't know why they're calling. They don't even care about me.

-/-/-/-/

Over the next few days, I hear the doorbell ring and the sounds of Stan or Kenny's voices enter my ears. My mom doesn't let them in though, thank God. She tells them I'm too sick.

They finally stop coming around after about the fifth or sixth time and I'm left in peace.

-/-/-/-/-/

The third week passes and I'm still stuck in bed, feeling worse than ever. My skin feels like it's on fire and I'm constantly sweating. My heart never stops hurting and it stops me from sleeping.

I'm sure I look a right mess.

Ike comes in with a glass of ice-cold water and a straw. I sip it gently, the cool water burning my throat blissfully as I gulp it down. Ike leaves when I've drank it all and I continue to stare at the ceiling, the same daily routine.

Suddenly, the doorbell rings, startling me a bit, and I listen closely to hear a voice.

"No, he's too sick. I'm sorry," my mom says, her loud voice making it easy for me to hear.

The other voice, however, isn't as loud and I have to strain my ears to hear it. I think it's Stan but I can't be sure.

"Alright alright, if you're not going to leave otherwise, then come in," my mom says, surprising me.

She's actually letting him in! No god damn way!

I hear him, whoever it is, running up the stairs, faster than necessary. Suddenly, my room is barged open, startling me inside though, on the outside, I appear unfazed.

I don't turn my head, continuing to gaze skywards, still unsure of who's in my room.

"Kahl…" I hear the visitor breathe, and I instantly know exactly who it is.

He slowly walks up to me and his head appears in front of mine, confirming my guess.

"Cartman…" I whisper in my mind, my lips not seeming to work for me.

"Kahl… you… you look terrible. Your eyes…" A look of shock and fear crosses his face as he stares down into my lifeless eyes, my life having drained from them gradually. The pain in my heart increases when I see his face and I mentally yell at him to move, so the pain will stop.

"This is my fault," he breathes quietly, his eyes widened as he backs away slightly. "I did this… I… I'm so sorry, Kahl." His voice cracks at my name and I see tears pricking his eyes as he stares down at me, though he doesn't dare let them escape. Eric Cartman doesn't cry.

"Kahl, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I never wanted any of this to happen, I promise. Please… talk to me. Say something. Anything!"

An escaped tear rolls down his cheek and he angrily swipes it away. "Kahl, talk to me, please. I want to see life in your eyes again. I want you back. I _need _you back."

He places a hand under my chin, gently turning my head so I'm forced to look into his eyes. A glare slowly appears on his face and he grips my shoulders firmly, shaking me slightly.

"Fuck you, Kahl!" he yells. "**Fuck you**! How dare you do this to yourself, to _me_, to _everyone _around you? I hate you for doing this to yourself. I hate you, though I still hate myself even more for letting this happen. I didn't mean it. It was an accident.

"But you just decided to leave me! To leave everyone who cares about you. You Jews are all the same, always just thinking about yourselves! You sicken me. You no-good, sneaky, evil, filthy little Jew-rat!"

As the last word leaves his mouth, I feel a rush of something powerful shoot through me. It feels like rage. It quickly builds up and I suddenly jump up from my spot on the bed, sitting upright, my eyes now on Cartman's, a heated glare on my face.

"Don't belittle my people, you fucking fatass!" I shout.

Slowly, Cartman's angry and shocked expression turns into a wide grin and, without warning, he throws his arms around me, hugging me tightly to his chest, startling me.

"Kahl, you're back! I can't believe it! You're actually back!"

I can barely breathe in his tight embrace and so flail my arms around wildly, gasping and spluttering over his shoulder. He finally releases me and I drop back on the bed, lying on my back once again.

"Kahl, you had me so fucking worried, you stupid Jew! There was no life in you at all. You were like some Jewish zombie. A Jombie!"

He chuckles at his stupid joke and then hauls me upwards again, pulling me in for another hug, though looser this time so I can breathe. My arms stay by my sides as I'm unsure whether or not I should return his hug.

"Kahl, I've missed you. You had me really scared. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I'm just so glad you're okay."

His hold on me tightens slightly and I gaze uncertainly at the side of his head, unsure of how to feel.

After a couple of slow-coming seconds, reality dawns on me and I realise just _who _it is who's hugging me. Without anymore hesitation, I place my two hands on his chest and push him away, immediately separating the warm embrace.

He stares at me in confusion, looking slightly hurt. I ignore the look on his face and instead ask him the question I've been wanting to ask since he first came in here.

"Why are you here, Cartman?" I ask icily, feeling anger bubbling up inside me again.

He frowns. "I'm here because I care about you, you stupid Jew."

"Bullshit!" I cry, glaring heatedly at him. "You don't care about me. You never did! You hate me and love to hurt me. That's just who you are. You don't care about anyone but yourself!"

"That's not true, Kahl!" Cartman shouts, his eyes never seeming to leave mine. "I _am _capable of caring for other people. Though, I do admit, there _are _only a _few _others I care about, besides myself. But you happen to be one of those few, Kahl. You lucky Jew."

I roll my eyes, sick to death of looking at him. "Don't ever touch me again, Cartman. Ever! Now get out of my house!"

Cartman appears surprised, though he only shows it for a brief moment. He then grows serious again, his brows furrowing slightly while deep lines crease his forehead. His eyes remain locked on mine, and I end up gazing back, lost in his eyes though I'm still fully focused on the conversation.

"Kahl, I don't understand you. At **all**. Why won't you believe anything I say? First, it was the rumour, then the drawing, and now you don't believe that I care about you. Why is it so hard for you to believe anything I say? What did I ever do that was so bad that your faith and trust in me is as low as it could possibly get?"

I scoff, unable to believe what I'm hearing.

"The question is not 'what have you done,' it's 'what _haven't _you done?'" I answer, my voice dripping with venom. "All my life, Cartman, you've been there, constantly ripping on me, plotting against me, dreaming of killing me and God knows what else! You've always ruined my life. Always! And you actually have the balls to ask me what you've done to make my trust in you go so low? Screw you, fatass."

His eyes widen slightly, and his frown is replaced by a blank stare, as if he's just realised something.

"Kahl, listen. I know I've been terrible to you. I don't think I've ever treated you the way you deserve to be treated. I'm sorry for everything I've ever said or done to hurt you, and I don't expect you to forgive me. But I just want you to know that I _do _care about you. I always have. That's why I saved you all those years ago from the smug storm. I risked my own life to save yours, and I know it was crazy… but I did it anyway. I had to… for you. I do care about you, Kahl. And I just want you to believe me."

My eyes widen as I gape at him, only now remembering that day on the basketball court when he first admitted to me about saving my life when we were kids. I remember that day clearly, as if it had only just happened. Cartman was so open that day, so honest. Just like he seems to be now…

I know many people would disagree with me, even _I_ find it hard to believe, but there _is _a different side to Cartman that rarely ever comes out. He's only presented it to me twice before - that day on the basketball court, and right now at this very moment.

This side of him is so rare but it _is _there. This side shows that he isn't entirely heartless like he usually seems. He _has _a heart and he has feelings. And I guess, maybe he _is _capable of caring for others besides himself. I may even go as far to say that he is capable of _love_…

I blink twice, slowly, letting all these thoughts settle in my mind before I decide to address them properly.

"I… believe you," I say softly, surprising even myself and meeting Cartman's surprised gaze, his eyes appearing to light up.

"You do?" he asks, studying me closely for any hint of a lie.

"I do," I reply, honestly. "I believe you, Cartman. But," I begin, and his face falls, "I don't believe that you didn't start the rumour or plan to break my heart."

He exhales an exasperated sigh, looking worn out, though the determination in his eyes remain. He seems determined to make me believe him.

"Kahl, I don't have any proof of any sort to show you I'm not lying. But I swear on my life and yours that I did not start that rumour. And that drawing was genuine."

I frown. "What do you mean it was genuine?"

"I mean, I didn't draw it as part of any plan or scheme of any sort. I drew it because it is my honest answer for the theme."

I continue to frown, many doubts filling my mind. Seeing that I still don't believe him, Cartman sighs and reaches into his jacket pocket, pulling out a folded sheet of paper. He hands it to me and gazes directly into my eyes as I begin to unfold it, eventually revealing his art project. I must have left it with him when I showed it to him last.

I stare down at it for a long time before looking back up at Cartman, silently asking what he's trying to prove. He shifts closer to me until we're sitting right next to each other, our shoulders touching.

"Look at it, Kahl," he says softly, and I willingly comply. "Tell me, in your honest opinion, what you think of it."

I frown, confused at why he's asking me that but I don't bother asking questions.

"It's really good," I say truthfully, my eyes running over every inch of the drawing, admiring it.

"Honestly?" Cartman asks me.

"Honestly," I reply. "It's amazing, Cartman."

"Well then, tell me this," he says. "If I only wanted to draw this for a plan, to make you think I loved you just so I could hurt you, then why would I work so damn hard on it? If I wanted it for a plan, I could have scribbled something down and it would still make you think the same thing. Even if it was a simple, badly drawn picture of you, your reaction would have been the exact same. It would still give you the impression that I have feelings for you, which I could still use to hurt you. So why would I work for days and days on it, if I didn't need to?"

I stare at him beside me, our eyes meeting, our faces only inches away.

"I… I don't know," I softly admit.

"Look down again." I obey without complaint. He runs a finger over the background of the picture, the glistening Stark's Pond, the dark starry sky, the bright shining moon. "I worked on that for a full three days," he says softly. "I wanted to make sure everything was perfect and I had to start it all over again at least four times."

I blink in surprise, well aware of the fact that he could be lying but deep in my heart knowing he's not. There's complete honesty in his eyes and voice, which not even Cartman can feign.

"And I made sure every inch of you was perfect," he says. "I've had to study you closely to be able to make sure to draw you right. I took pictures of you in my mind, which won't leave my mental art gallery for as long as I live."

He smiles and I smile back, feeling oddly warm, although also slightly creeped out.

"Your smile was hard for me," he continues. "It took me a long time for me to see you smiling my way so I couldn't mentally capture the picture to help me draw it. I finally caught it though, that day we skipped class together and went to the basketball court. You kept missing the net so I lifted you up and you scored. That smile you gave me afterwards will remain on my mind forever. It was just so… striking. I've never seen you smile like that before. You just looked so happy."

He smiles at the memory and then at me, before looking down again.

"Your eyes were the easiest part. I've memorized what your eyes look like. I found them simple enough to draw, but they were also my favourite part to draw. They're so big and green and… they're just you. I can't really explain it. Everything behind your eyes just says who you are. They just show what you're really like. The only thing they don't tell about you is that you're a no-good Jew-rat."

He winks playfully at me, sending warm shivers down my body. He meets my eyes again and I gaze back into his.

"Your eyes are… perfect, Kahl. _You're _perfect," he says, his eyes shining, melting my fast-paced beating heart.

"So what does all of this mean?" I ask softly, surprised to hear my voice again after listening to only his for so long. "The drawing, I mean. If you didn't draw it for a plan, then why did you?"

He grins. "Because I wanted to be truthful to the theme of the project," he answers.

"So… what does that mean then?" I ask, smiling brightly.

He returns my smile. "The project theme was 'my life.' So what it means, my dear Jew, is that you are my life, and nothing or no one else in the world could ever mean as much to me as you do."

I feel a warm surge of electricity shoot through my veins and my heartbeat speeds up to the point where it's threatening to burst right out of my chest.

Cartman and I lock eyes again, smiling softly and genuinely, both of us feeling warmer than ever. I sigh happily and gently rest my forehead against his, our eyes close and remaining locked.

"I have never loved you more, Cartman, than at this very moment right here."

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

_This ship has set sail! At long last! Woo!_

_Haha. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm sorry for Cartman being so OOC. It's hard to keep him in character in these kind of situations. I hope you enjoyed it anyway._

_Chapter 15 is on the way soon! Review, please? xxx_


	15. Chapter 15

Cartman smiles wider as I speak those words, his eyes lighting up, and I can faintly hear the sound of his racing heart. My own heart is thumping wildly as well and I feel my face flush in slight embarrassment.

We're silent for a while, though the peace is heavenly. Our foreheads remain pressed against each other's and time seems to pass by very quickly as we search the other's eyes, finding nothing but overwhelming happiness deep within them.

Suddenly, the sound of my bedroom door opening is heard and we jump away from each other in shock, our eye contact shattering. We both look over and see my mom walking in, smiling politely at Cartman before her eyes rest on me and a look of surprise sweeps across her face.

"Oh, Kyle, you're up!" she cries happily. "I'm very glad. Would you two like to come down for a bite to eat?"

At the mention of food, my stomach growls loudly and Cartman and I burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter.

My mom smiles at the sight. "I'll take that as a yes," she says, before leaving the room.

Cartman wipes away a few joyful tears from his eyes before grinning widely at me, his face beaming. I return a grin, feeling a warm bubbly feeling swell up inside me, burning my heart blissfully.

"Well, we should probably go down," he says, standing up from my bed.

I nod and suddenly frown as I try to get off the bed. For the past few weeks, I've never really left my bed except for short bathroom trips. My legs feel dead. Now, I need to walk downstairs and my legs seem to ache at the thought. I throw them over the side of the bed and push myself up.

As soon as I'm standing, my legs go weak and I fall forward, hitting the carpeted floor with a thud.

"God dammit!" I mutter under my breath, glaring at the floor when I hear Cartman laughing behind me.

"Aww, come here, you clumsy Jew," he says, and I can hear the amusement in his voice.

I feel his warm arms reach around my chest and pull me to my feet with ease. I feel his warm breath on my neck as he holds me against him.

I stand on my two feet but still can't seem to find my balance. I'm briefly reminded of that day when I fell in the snow and Cartman did the exact same thing, picking me up again. No matter what happens, Cartman seems to always be there. I don't really know what I'd do without him.

He leans his head gently on my shoulder and I smile, feeling warm at the gesture.

"Do you want me to help you down the stairs, my little Jew?" he asks quietly, though his voice remains slightly mocking.

I ignore the mocking tone and instead just answer the question. "That would be appreciated, my dear Eric."

At the sound of his first name, his head swiftly turns to me and I see a look of surprise on his face, to which I smile.

"What? Am I not allowed to call you by your first name?" I ask innocently.

He scoffs. "Of course you are. I just… didn't think you would."

I grin at him, leaning even further back in his embrace, enjoying the blissful warmth radiating from his skin.

"Well it's going to take a lot of getting used to, that's for sure. But I'm willing to give it a go, _Eric,_" I add, flashing him a smile.

He blinks slowly before grinning, nuzzling his nose into my neck playfully, sending a warm electricity shooting through my body.

"Kyle! Eric! Come down!" my mom calls from below, once again ruining our golden moments.

Cartman raises his head, his hold around me loosening slightly. "Come on. Let's go."

With Cartman keeping a steady arm around my waist, I manage to control my feet again and can walk again by myself, though even when I tell Cartman that, he still doesn't move his arm from around my waist.

We walk into the kitchen and he finally removes his arm before anyone can see. Ike is already seated at the table while my mom finishes cooking. My dad is still at work.

Cartman and I sit next to each other on the opposite side of Ike, who's sitting directly in front of me across the table.

"Hey, little bro. How was your day?" I ask cheerfully.

Ike stares at me, surprise clean on his face. His eyes glance at Cartman for a brief moment before returning to me.

"You seem very happy today," he points out, smirking, not even bothering to answer my question. He turns to Cartman. "What did you do to finally get him out of his boring, 'sick' state?" he asks.

Cartman meets my eyes and I look away, blushing crimson, praying he'll tell my nosy little brother a convincing lie. He looks back at Ike.

"Nothing really," he says. "Just said a few things to make him realise that lying in bed all day isn't going to cure anything."

Ike cocks an eyebrow at him. "So what kind of things did you say?" he asks curiously, _suspiciously_.

Cartman shrugs. "Nothing much, really."

Ike's smirk widens. "Did you tell him you-"

"**Ike**!" my mom suddenly shouts, startling everyone. "Stop being so nosy! Shouldn't you just be happy that your brother is feeling better and not ask questions? We should be thankful to Eric here, for somehow helping my little bubbe feel better."

Cartman smirks at the nickname but hides it quickly, though not before I caught it.

"Oh, it was nothing, Mrs Broflovski," he replies, feigning modesty.

"Nonsense. Of course it was something. Thank you for what you've done. This is the first time Kyle's been out of his bed for weeks!" my mom cries.

Cartman smiles at her before looking at me, seeming proud, _genuinely _proud, not smug. I smile back, loving the adorable look on his face. He reminds me of the day I was at his house and he made me a delicious wrap. He looked really proud when I told him I loved it, as if no one ever complimented any of his small skills, which I guess they didn't.

"Here you go, boys," my mom says, placing a plate in front of Cartman, Ike and me, full of a delicious stew. The smell of it rises into my nostrils and I breathe it in eagerly.

"This looks delicious, mom," I say.

"And it tastes even better!" Cartman adds, already starting to wolf down the food, clearly hungry. I laugh before beginning to eat myself, desperate to feed my rumbling stomach.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Dinner passes quite quickly, as I've enjoyed it. Cartman seemed to enjoy it too, which delighted me. There was casual chat among the four of us which eventually turned into fits of laughter, every one of us nearly crying from such laughter.

I never knew dinner with my mom, brother and my 'worst enemy' could be so much fun!

Near the end of dessert, my mom asked Cartman if he'd like to stay the night, as it's a Friday. Cartman shot me a questioning look, silently asking if it's okay with me, to which I eagerly nodded for him to agree, nervous excitement seeming to build up inside me.

Cartman told my mom he'd love to stay the night, to her approval. Despite the fact my mom has always hated Eric as she thinks he's a bad influence, after tonight she seems to love him, not as much as Stan but pretty close!

That makes me happy. I always wondered what my mom would say if I ever dated Cartman. I used to think she'd go to the ends of the Earth to stop us from being together.

Now I think she wouldn't really mind, though she still doesn't know about my sexuality, and I'm not exactly planning on telling her just yet.

But my relationship with Cartman… is unknown to me. I mean, he said I meant the world to him and I told him I love him… but are we really together? We didn't exactly say. I'd love to ask Cartman… but I'm slightly afraid of the answer.

"So do you two want to go back upstairs?" my mom asks, as we help her clear the table.

"Sure," I say. "Let's go."

Cartman and I race upstairs and into my bedroom, closing the door behind us. We throw ourselves on my bed and exchange grins.

"That was the most fun dinner I've ever had!" he says, grinning widely.

"Yeah, same here. I thought I was going to collapse from all the laughter!" I admit, giggling at the very thought.

"I know. Me too," he replies. "And now I'm staying the night! In a house full of Jews, I might add. What a crazy day!"

I ignore the point on Jews and laugh. "It really is a weird day," I agree.

He nods slowly, smiling. There's a brief silence between us before I check my watch. "Wow, it's already 9.30!" I cry.

His eyebrows shoot up. "Seriously? This day flew!"

"Yeah," I agree. "You should probably call your mom and tell her you're staying over."

"Meh," he mumbles, shrugging indifferently.

I frown. "But she needs to know, Eric," I say, raising an eyebrow.

"No she doesn't," he disagrees, a sudden change in his voice. "She doesn't care where I am. She'll probably be thrilled for a free night without me. She won't be worrying."

I stare at him, not believing his words. I scoot closer to him, wanting him to look at me though his eyes remain on the floor.

"Eric… I may not know your mom too well, but what I know for sure is that she loves you and cares about you. And she _will _worry if you don't tell her where you are."

He scoffs, smiling humourlessly at my words.

"Yeah, of course," he mutters, sarcasm clear in his voice. "If she loves me and cares about me, then why does she bring strange men into my house and fuck them all day and night? Or why does she leave me all alone in the house so she can go out with those men and sell her body to them so she buy fucking crack for herself?" he shouts, meeting my gaze at the last second, so I can see the hateful anger and hurt clear in his eyes.

He glares, at nothing in particular, though he's looking my way. I'm silent for the next few minutes, listening as he angrily sighs every few seconds and quietly mumbles under his breath.

"I… I didn't know…" I say softly, meeting his eyes again. "Eric, I had no idea it was that bad… I'm sorry."

My voice cracks slightly at the last word and I drop my gaze to the floor, blinking repeatedly to hold back any tears. I can't bear seeing him like this.

I hear Cartman exhale a deep sigh, though this one doesn't sound angry. I suddenly feel a pair of arms wrap around me and I'm pulled into Cartman's warm embrace. I bury my head in his shoulder blade as tears prick my eyes. His hold around me tightens and I nuzzle into his shoulder, horrible realisations swimming through my mind.

I imagine Eric all alone in his house, his mom bringing in another strange man, while Eric lies on the sofa, comfort eating, feeling upset and completely alone. He's sad and lonely. That's why he's such an asshole to everyone, because he has no dad and his mom is never around.

I've never really thought about it before. I'd always assumed Cartman acted the way he does because that's just the way he is. But there's a reason for it. I should have realised it earlier. Then maybe, I would have treated him better and I would have been there for him. Who knew how much he needed someone to be there for him when he never showed it at all? He never showed anyone how much he was hurting and how he needed someone at his side.

But now that I realise it, I'll always be there for him, no matter what. Whether he wants me as a boyfriend or just a friend, or even an 'enemy' again, I'm always there. If he ever needs me, all he has to do is call my name, and I'll come running to save him. Always.

I really want him to realise this, but I'm too shy to tell him. I'm afraid he'll just laugh.

Instead of saying anything, I just keep my mouth shut and enjoy my brief moments in his warm hold.

He finally lets go and smiles awkwardly at me. "I didn't mean to snap, Kahl. Just thinking about my stupid whore of a mom angers me so I took it out on you. Sorry."

I return a soft smile. "It's okay, Eric. Don't worry about it."

He nods briefly, a small grin on his face.

We're silent for the next few minutes until I finally break it.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" I suggest.

He nods. "What kind of movie?"

I think carefully, recalling all the DVDs I own. I'm secretly eager to watch a romantic film, so maybe something will happen between us, but I'm not exactly going to tell Cartman that!

"How about a scary one?" I suggest. "Or a comedy."

"Hmm…" He wraps his fingers around his chin and gazes skywards in a dramatic thinking motion. "I'm in the mood for a scary film. What do you have?"

I stand up and walk over to my drawer where all my DVDs are kept. I have them all grouped into their appropriate genres, so it's easier to find specific ones.

"You're so freaking organised that it's fucking abnormal, Jew!" Cartman smirks, suddenly by my side.

"I like to know where things are and to be able to find things easily!" I retort, feigning an annoyed frown.

He rolls his eyes and then looks through my DVDs. Most of the scary ones I've gotten as gifts though I haven't watched a lot of them.

"How about this?" he asks, holding up a DVD of 'Insidious.'

I gaze at the cover, unsure. I've never watched it but I heard it's meant to be terrifying.

"Okay," I reply, feeling slightly nervous. I've never really been a huge fan of horror films. I sometimes watched them with Stan but he'd occasionally talk through a lot of them, which kept me calm.

Cartman smiles and hands me the disk. I pop it into the DVD player and we sit on my bed, leaning back against my pillow.

The movie starts and the terror begins…

The movie is pretty scary. I jump a lot, which Cartman finds funny, and I cover my eyes at times. My heart is also pounding at the intense scenes.

Without realising it, I manage to scoot closer to Cartman until our bodies are touching. I feel a bit braver now.

The movie finally ends and I switch the DVD player off.

"Wow, that was awesome!" Cartman cries.

I nod slowly, though I'm really terrified.

"Kahl, you okay? You look… strange," he says, and he looks both amused and concerned.

"I'm fine," I mumble quietly. "We should go to sleep now. It's pretty late."

He nods and gets into the sleeping bag I laid out on the floor for him and I climb into bed before switching the light off, darkness instantly filling the room. My heart begins to race, my fear surrounding me. I'm _really _not a fan of scary films…

I snuggle into my pillow for some comfort but find none. I could be awake for a while. I can't help thinking that demons are watching me and one might possess me, though I know it's ridiculous. Then again, this _is _South Park. Weirder things have happened. _Anything _can happen here. That thought doesn't help me feel any better…

I begin to shiver beneath the covers, feeling surprisingly chilly. I curl myself up into a ball but don't feel any warmer. I shut my eyes tightly and try to tune out the sound of my racing heart, without success.

"Kahl?"

The voice makes me jump, having startled me, though I soon relax when I see Cartman's face appear at the side of my bed. He's gazing up at me, the light of the moon shining down on him through the window, causing his eyes to glisten.

"Yes?" I mumble, trying to mask my fear, but failing.

"Are you okay?" he asks, frowning.

"Yeah," I mutter. "I'm fine."

He doesn't look convinced.

"Did that movie scare you?" he asks.

"No," I reply, though I don't sound convincing in the slightest.

He sighs heavily, gazing out the window for a brief moment, thinking, before looking back at me.

"Come here, you wussy little Jew," he says, smirking slightly. I watch as he scrambles out of his sleeping bag and gets to his feet. He then walks around to the other side of my bed and climbs in quickly, the coldness of the room hitting him quickly.

I gasp in surprise and gawk at him stupidly.

He smirks wider. "What, Jew? I'm just here to make you feel better. I remember earlier when we were watching the movie that when you moved closer to me, you relaxed a bit. I'm hoping that will happen again."

My eyebrows shoot up and I stare at him in surprise.

"Uhh thanks, I guess," I say, smiling.

He nods and moves onto his side, facing me. "Night, Jew," he whispers, closing his eyes slowly.

"Night, Cartman. Uh, I mean Eric," I correct myself. "Sorry."

He opens his eyes briefly to grin at me. "Don't apologize, Kahl. You'll get used to it eventually."

I nod and smile. "Goodnight, Eric. Have a nice sleep."

"You too. Night, Jew."

We both close our eyes and try to sleep. I have to admit, Cartman was right. I feel a lot better now that he's here. Even without touching, his warmth radiates off his skin and warms me up in no time. And I can hear his soft breathing as he shuts his eyes, which relaxes me immediately. He makes me feel safer. I feel like nothing bad can happen to me now.

I soon begin to drift off, feeling safe and warm enough to finally have a good night's sleep which I haven't gotten in about three weeks.

"Kahl?"

The voice startles me again as I wasn't expecting it. I open my eyes and meet his, feeling my heart speed up.

"Yeah?" I reply quietly.

"Do… do you really love me?" he asks, a hopeful look on his face.

I can't help but smile. "Yes, I do. I love you."

He fidgets with the duvet and shuffles slightly, seeming nervous or awkward. I don't blame him. He isn't used to this.

He soon starts to shiver, though I don't know how he could possibly be cold now. I scoot closer to him and wrap my arms around his neck boldly, pulling myself closer to him.

His shivering ceases quite quickly and he hesitates before wrapping his own arms around my waist. I smile and bury my head in his shoulder blade, enjoying the sound of his racing heartbeat.

We're silent for the next few minutes before I ask something which I can't keep in any longer.

"Eric, how do you feel about me? Be honest."

I lift my head so I can meet his eyes and I see him looking back, thinking.

There's more silence between us as I wait for his reply, though, after a while, I begin to think he's not going to say anything.

"Kahl, you really are my life," he eventually says. "I'd do anything for you. But I don't really know if it's love yet. I'm not sure."

I nod, understanding. Eric is the first person I've ever actually loved, and it took me a long time to actually realise that it's love. I searched through every dictionary, looked at loads of websites about love. It doesn't really have a definition that completely explains it properly anywhere.

It's just something that feels absolutely amazing and new and the person you love makes you feel like you're on top of the world.

No one can ever really tell you if you're in love or not. You have to realise it yourself. They don't know how you really feel about someone on the inside. I think you find out if you love someone when the time is right.

And I know now, more than ever, that I really do love Eric Cartman.

"I completely understand," I tell him softly, smiling. "You will know someday whether it's love or not, trust me."

"But how?" he asks. "How will I know? What are the signs?"

"Hmm… well I'll ask you a few questions and you answer them honestly. Then at the end we can think about what it might mean."

He nods and grins. "Fire away, my little Jew."

I roll my eyes and smile. "Do you often think about me, even at the most random moments or even when I'm not around?"

He smiles awkwardly and averts his eyes. "Yeah. Even when I don't want to, I nearly always end up daydreaming about you. Mostly when I'm bored. It makes time pass pretty quickly."

I smile slowly. It feels good to know that he thinks about me as often as I think about him.

"Does your heart beat faster when I'm near?" I ask.

He nods and smiles sheepishly. "It's beating pretty fast right now."

I chuckle. I know that already. I can hear it.

"Could you live without me?"

"No," he quickly answers, without even having to think about it. "I need you, whether as a friend or.. whatever else, I need you. I need you around."

"If I somehow died, like in a freak accident or something, what would you do?" I ask, fearing both the question and the answer.

He exhales a deep sigh, thinking it over. "I'm being really honest when I say this, Kahl. I think I'd just kill myself. I'd have no other choice. If it meant seeing you again up there," he points upwards, indicating Heaven, "I'd do it."

My heart speeds up, out of fear and pain more than anything else. "What if I was dying of an illness in hospital and before I died, I told you to please stay alive and live a long, happy life. What would you do then? Would you disobey my wishes?"

"Yes," he answers, again without thinking. "I never obey you anyway and I wouldn't start then. You don't seem to understand how much you mean to me, Kahl. I couldn't live without you. I _wouldn't, _not if I had the option to reunite with you, by ending my life."

My heart pangs sharply at the thought of Cartman killing himself… because of me. I could never let him do it.

"Eric, please don't say that. If I died, I would do everything in my power to stop you from killing yourself. My ghost would secretly watch you and stop you if you ever tried to commit suicide. I promise you that."

He smiles and pulls me closer to him. "Don't worry. That won't ever happen. We'll both reach the age of eighty, at least, whether we're together or not."

I return his smile. "I sure hope so."

There's a short moment of silence between us before I feel Cartman's lips beside my ear, his warm breath tickling me.

"Any more questions?" he whispers, grinning.

"No," I reply, too tired to think of any more.

"Well I think I know how I feel now anyway," he whispers.

I turn my head and meet his eyes. "And?"

"And I've found out the truth. I love you, Kahl."

A warm smile gradually spreads across my face and my heart practically melts beneath my skin.

"I love you too, Eric."

We exchange a quick kiss and Cartman tightens his hold on me, hugging me to his chest. I rest my head on his shoulder and slowly close my eyes, feeling the happiest I've felt in a long, long time.

I know for sure that tonight's sleep will be the best sleep I've ever had.

"Goodnight, Eric," I whisper softly. "I love you."

"I love you too, Kahl. Goodnight."

He kisses the top of my head and then shuts his eyes. It's not long before we both drift off, our minds already planning wonderful dreams of the other for this very night.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

_Ahh, I'm so sorry again for Cartman being OOC. I'm finding it pretty hard to keep him in character now that he's told Kyle how he feels about him and all that. I really hope you guys still enjoyed it. _

_Please, leave a review. Chapter 16 is on the way! xxx_


	16. Chapter 16

The next morning, my eyes slowly open and I'm met with Cartman's slowly heaving chest, my head having been buried into it. I slowly look up and see his eyes still shut, breathing softly onto my face, tickling me.

I glance down at my watch and see that it's only seven in the morning. I smile at the thought of staying here for hours and hours with Cartman. No school to go to.

I sigh in contentment and rest my head on Cartman's shoulder, breathing peacefully. I listen to the soft sounds of his breaths, feeling relaxed and happy. It isn't much long later until Cartman finally opens his eyes and lets out a yawn.

I smile up at him and kiss his cheek. "Morning."

He grins down at me, looking slightly dazed as if he'd forgotten I'm here. "Morning, Jew."

He pulls me up to him, our faces closer than before. My heart speeds up and I feel my face beginning to grow hotter.

"Uhhh… I…. uhh… h-how was your sleep?" I stammer, trying to control my breathing.

I'm still not used to being this close to him. It's making me dizzy. His eyes… They're so… I don't even know how to describe them. Mysterious, vibrant. He never seems to look away from my own eyes.

"My sleep was awesome," he replies, grinning. "Yours?"

I hate the way he's able to control himself. He doesn't stammer or blush or anything. He has so much self-control that I'm almost jealous. Almost.

"G-good," I answer quietly, mentally cursing myself for stammering again. "You?"

He cocks an eyebrow. "You already asked me." He smirks. "Remember?"

"Yeah. Right." I mumble, blushing deeper.

He chuckles. "You need to get your ass back to school, Jew. You're losing your smarts."

He winks and I smile.

-/-/-/-/

We end up lying in bed in the same position for the next two hours, talking about nothing of importance, just everyday topics. There are plenty of silences too, but they're not awkward, and so I don't mind them.

At about ten, the pair of us get a whiff of the lovely smell of my mom cooking breakfast from downstairs. The delightful scent fills our nostrils and I feel my mouth begins to water. I hear Cartman's stomach rumble and mine follows suit. We grin at each other.

"Want to go down to eat?"

He nods and releases his hold on me. We scramble out of bed and I begin to change into my clothes. Cartman is already in his clothes since he had no pyjamas. As I begin getting changed into my clothes, I feel Cartman's eyes on me, watching carefully, and I blush again. I look away quickly before he sees.

As I'm pulling my jeans on over my boxers, I suddenly think of something, which I need to know the answer to.

"Eric?"

I turn to face him, suddenly not caring if he sees my reddened cheeks, and see his eyes still on me.

"Yeah?" he answers.

"Umm… I was just wondering…" I look at the floor in embarrassment, afraid to ask for no apparent reason. "Are… are we… does this mean we're now… officially together?" I blush again and face the opposite way, embarrassed.

I suddenly feel two arms around me, wrapping around my stomach, and Cartman's head appears above my left shoulder, sending a delightful warmth throughout my body.

"Of course it does," he whispers softly in my ear. "We're together now, Kahl."

A large smile lights up my face and I replay those words over and over again in my head. I honestly couldn't be happier right now.

I may have lost my best friends but Cartman is finally mine. After such a long time of waiting and hoping and dreaming, he is finally mine at last. I just hope it never ends.

I love him so much. I just need him to know.

"Can we go down now?" he asks softly, clearly hungry.

I grin and nod. "Of course. Let's go."

After a warm breakfast, Cartman and I decide to head out, to hang out for the day. My mom is delighted as I haven't left the house in about three weeks.

I'm kind of nervous, to be honest. I haven't been out in fresh air for what seems like an eternity, when, in reality, it's only been a couple of weeks. There's no reason to be nervous and so I pull on my jacket and hat and exit the house.

I feel a cold breeze whip against my face as I step outside, sending a shiver down my back. Goosebumps appear on my arms and I wrap my jacket tighter around me.

"Wow, it's fucking freezing," I say, starting to shiver.

Cartman scoffs. "This is how it usually is, Kahl. Remember?"

I shake my head.

"Well if you hadn't stayed inside for so long, you'd remember," he replies, smirking. "Now come on, let's walk."

The streets are empty, almost, as we walk and I quite enjoy the peace, except for the sound of the wind whipping roughly against my face. It's quite irritating. I much prefer the warm shelter of my bedroom.

"Hey, what about here?" Cartman asks, stopping in his tracks.

I look up and see him pointing at a small restaurant with some signs in the window stating what they serve for breakfast.

"That seems fine," I reply, nodding quickly.

To be honest, I couldn't care less where we go. I just want to get out of the cold.

We head inside the building and a feeling of warmth washes over me as I step inside, to my instant relief. We take a seat at a small table in the corner, undisturbed by the other customers, who are muttering loudly to themselves. We pick up the menus and scan down through them silently.

"I think I'll have a fry," Cartman finally pipes up. He drops his menu to look at me. "You?"

"I think I'll just have cereal and toast," I answer, smiling at the odd look he gives me. "I'm not that hungry."

He leans back in his seat and shrugs. "Suit yourself."

It isn't much longer until we are finally greeted by a waitress.

"Hello, sirs. What can I get for you this morning?"

"I'll have the chef's special," Cartman says, barely noticing the waitress shooting him a flirtatious smile, sending a surge of jealousy through me.

"Yes, sir. And your friend?" she asks, glancing at me.

"Boyfriend," Cartman corrects her, causing an instant look of surprise to appear on the waitress's face.

"Oh! You two are…" She trails off, a look of disgust briefly flashing across her face before she forces a smile. "Well, what can I get you?" she asks me, her kind tone of voice forced.

"I'll just have a bowl of Cornflakes and two slices of toast, please," I reply, remaining polite despite already disliking her.

She scribbles down the order and walks away without another word. I give Cartman an incredulous look, which he seems puzzled about.

"Did you see that?" I ask in horror. "She gave you the most flirtatious grin and then when she found out we were together, she looked at us in disgust, as if we were vermin!" I pause to shake my head in disbelief. "Didn't you notice?"

"No, I was barely looking at her. Fucking homophobic bitch," he snarls, glaring down at the table angrily. "If I had of seen, I would have kicked her ass!"

I sigh. "Look, let's just forget about it, okay? Don't let her ruin our morning."

He also exhales a sigh before looking up and meeting my eyes, his glare slowly fading. "I guess you're right, Jew boy."

I smile, feeling an unusual glow of pride within me. It isn't often that Cartman says the words 'you're right' while looking at me. It feels good.

The same waitress gives us our food without a word before quickly leaving again. Cartman gives her the middle finger while her back is turned before shooting a grin at me. I can't help but laugh.

We both wolf down our food, feeling famished. We're done in a matter of minutes and we relax in our seats, not planning on leaving for a while. Cartman appears quite full after his huge breakfast and he shuts his eyes as he leans back in his chair. I take the opportunity to gaze at him without him realising.

His messy brown hair is even messier than it usually is and it makes him look even better looking than normal. His broad chest slowly moves up and down as he breathes softly. His fingers are intertwined as they lay gently on his stomach as he rests. I don't really know why but I have the strange urge to kiss him right now.

Cartman suddenly shoots forward in his chair, his eyes opening, and abruptly fixes me with a curious look, a slight frown on his face, as if he's just thought of something. "So, Kahl, what are you going to do with the art project?" he asks, surprising me with the question.

I shrug. "You can have it back if you want."

At that moment, a look of hurt briefly flashes across Cartman's face before he quickly masks it. I stare at him in confusion.

"You don't want it, do you?" he asks, failing to hide the hint of hurt in his voice.

My eyes widen. "No, Eric, that's not what I meant. I was just asking if you wanted it back because it's yours. But if you don't want it, I'd love to keep it."

His eyes seem to suddenly brighten and he grins. "Keep it. I don't want it."

I smile, happily. "Awesome. I'm gonna hang it on my bedroom wall, where it'll hopefully be one of the first things I see when I wake up every morning."

A look of sheer delight crosses Cartman's face and he smiles proudly. I return a smile of my own, loving the adorable look on his face.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me," he says softly. "You have no idea how happy _you_ make me."

With that, he leans across the table and captures my lips in his, ignoring every single head that turns toward us and stares. In this moment, it is just me and Eric Cartman.

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_Hope you liked this chapter. So sorry for the wait!_

_Please leave a review! xxx_


	17. Chapter 17

Monday arrives again way too quickly and I know I have to return to school. In fact, I actually _want _to go back. I'm bored and need to catch up on my schoolwork. Yes, Kyle Broflovski is back to his normal self again. Hold the applause.

I get up at seven and get changed into a casual jumper and jeans. I then grab a quick cereal before leaving the house. Cartman and I meet up outside his house and we walk to school together, huddling up close to keep ourselves warm. The icy wind is strong today and my warm jumper still fails to keep me warm. Cartman wraps an arm around me and pulls me close as we walk and I feel warmer almost straight away.

We chat about nothing particularly important, although at one point Cartman briefly mutters that he's happy I'm returning to school. I guess he missed me too. The thought makes me smile.

We finally reach the school and my feet begin to move slower than normal, a sudden fear of going inside hitting me like a ton of bricks. Who knows what's going to happen today?

Cartman takes hold of my hand and gives it a quick squeeze before shooting me a reassuring smile, exactly what I need. We then stroll inside, hand-in-hand.

However, I absentmindedly release his hand as we enter, quickly noticing everyone's eyes on me straight away as I walk. A lot of the people I know - Craig, Clyde, Bebe, etc. - all stare at me in surprise and disgust, seemingly unhappy to have me back. I notice a few strangers pointing and sneering at me and I overhear the word 'fag' being used. I ignore them and walk on. Cartman heads to his locker and I absentmindedly mutter a quick goodbye.

I slowly approach my locker, feeling my face heat up as I feel all eyes on me. I pretend not to care and begin to take out the books I need for my first few classes.

I suddenly feel something tugging somewhat roughly on my sleeve and I swing around in response. My eyes widen as I'm immediately found face-to-face with my ex-best friend. My mouth opens slightly but no words come out. I don't know what to say.

"Hi, Kyle," Stan mutters quietly, keeping his eyes low, purposely avoiding eye contact. He appears nervous talking to me again. "I… I tried to visit you these past few weeks, but your mom wouldn't let me see you."

I blink at him, waiting for him to continue.

He shrugs. "I guess I just wanted to see if you're okay."

He glances up for a brief moment and meets my eyes momentarily before averting his gaze again.

I nod slowly. "I'm fine, Stan."

He nods awkwardly. "Well… I'll see you."

"See you."

He turns and walks away quickly, leaving me by myself again, tension still hanging in the air. I only realise now that not _everyone _is staring at me anymore, though a good few still are. I frown in annoyance and finish up at my locker before heading to class.

No one, except Stan, directly talks to me all morning. They do, however, talk behind my back, which only serves to further ruin my mood. I exhale deep sighs throughout the morning, trying not to lose my temper, and wait impatiently for lunch so I can see Cartman again.

In English, I accidentally overhear Clyde and Bebe talking about who else but me. I glare angrily at my desk as I listen in, using every ounce of my power not to lose control. Apparently they, and almost everyone else, think I haven't been in school for the past few weeks because I've been too upset about the gay rumour. As a joke, they're all going to continue ripping on me, just to see how much of it I can take until I finally break. I exhale quietly and deeply, managing to remain in control, though only barely.

Lunch finally arrives, thankfully, and I feel a surge of joy. I can finally see Cartman again after not seeing him since this morning. We've had no classes at all together. I'm in desperate need to smile again and he can put a smile on my face very easily when he wants to.

I enter the cafeteria and glance around quickly, frantically searching for Cartman. My stomach drops when I can't find him. He's always here before me. Where could he be?

I scan around a second time, thinking I might have missed him, when I suddenly spot a familiar group of people quickly approaching me. My stomach drops again and I look down quickly, avoiding eye contact. The group consists of Craig, Clyde, Token, Jason and Jimmy. They're all wearing the same nasty smirk and I can tell I'm in deep shit. I swallow nervously as they stop beside me, surrounding me so I'm completely trapped inside their circle. Craig is the first to speak.

"So, fag, where've you been?" he asks, his dark eyes on mine.

I shrug. "Nowhere."

"Nowhere? What the fuck, faggot? You have to have been somewhere for the past three fucking weeks!" he snaps, taking a step towards me. "Where've you been?"

I shrug again. "Nowhere. Just at home."

"Crying?" he asks, smirking. "Did all our mean insults make you go emo for a few weeks? Were you at home, crying, hurting yourself? 'Cause we can make you do so much worse than that, fag. We can drive you to fucking _kill _yourself!"

The others snigger and I look around, helplessly, wanting, _needing _someone to help me.

"I swear, kike, we'll drive you to the point of suicidal attempts and then we'll tell everyone it was someone else's fault, like I don't know… Stan, maybe? Kenny? Or maybe even Cartman. That fat fuck would be the most believable suspect anyway."

My temper suddenly flares wildly at his insulting words to Cartman and, without giving it a second thought, I throw myself at the black-haired teenager, punching and kicking anywhere in sight, desperate to hurt him.

After a few seconds of surprised hesitation, Craig's friends finally come to their senses and pull me off of him, gripping me tightly so I can't move. I can now see everyone in the cafeteria staring, no one inclined to help me for fear of getting hurt themselves.

Craig manages to find his balance again, staggering only slightly, and he quickly walks right up to me, glaring daggers at me. I know what's coming and I swallow nervously, awaiting the pain.

Craig's face appears right in front of mine. "How _dare _you do that to me! How dare you even _touch _me, faggot! I swear, I'm going to fucking kill you!"

With that, he raises his balled-up fist, ready to punch. I can only stare up at him silently, eyes widened, mentally asking him not to hurt me but yet awaiting the pain that is sure to come.

Just as he's about to connect his fist with my face, a blur of red appears and Craig is suddenly knocked to the ground with a hard thud.

I look up and my heart flutters when I see Cartman standing there, wearing his favourite red jacket, as per usual. He glares furiously down at Craig and then to Clyde and Token who are holding me. They quickly release me to go tend to their fallen friend, and Cartman flashes me a questioning look of concern.

I smile to show I'm okay before throwing my arms around him, hugging him tightly. He returns the embrace before releasing me to kiss my lips roughly. I kiss back straight away and I feel my heart soar. Our special moment is cut off quickly as Craig decides to open his big mouth again.

"So you're a fag too, huh, fatass?" he asks, sneering. Cartman only glares at him in response. "Well, I guess we'll just have to kick both your asses then, won't we?" Craig continues.

The five boys begin to approach, ready to throw themselves on us. Cartman wraps a protective arm around me and we slowly back off. Before any of the guys can lay a finger on us, a familiar voice is heard.

"Hey! Leave them alone, you fuckers!" yells Kenny, running in front of us, facing Craig. Stan appears beside him, glaring furiously.

"If you don't back the fuck off right now, I'll get the whole football team after you!" Stan growls, eyes narrowed.

Craig's fists drop and he glares at the four of us before exhaling a defeated sigh, knowing he's lost.

"Come on, guys," he says, ordering his friends to follow as he storms off, full of anger and defeat.

A large smile suddenly appears on my face as Stan and Kenny turn to face us.

"Stan! Kenny! You guys saved us! Why?"

They both grin. "We couldn't let our favourite fatass and our favourite Jew get the shit beaten out of them," says Kenny, grinning widely.

I smile and throw my arms around the two of them. They hug back and smile before releasing me.

Cartman scoffs. "I could have taken them all anyway."

I smile. "Of course you could have, Eric. Of course." I kiss his cheek softly.

Kenny smirks and Stan smiles awkwardly.

"So you two are together, huh?" Kenny asks.

I smile nervously and nod.

He shakes his head. "Took you long enough!"

He chuckles and pats us both on the back. "Good on you, guys."

Cartman shakes him off but I can see him trying not to smile. He seems happy with the attention.

"So, listen, Kyle, we're really sorry about what happened before, for abandoning you. We were complete assholes. I don't even know what we were thinking. Forgive us?" says Stan softly, meeting my eyes.

I smile and nod. "Of course, dude. Stan, you'll always be my super best friend. And Kenny, it's impossible to stay mad at you, you crazy pervert." I wink and grin at them both. "I've missed you guys."

"You too, Kyle," replies Stan. "The four of us need to promise to always be friends and stick together. No one or nothing should ever tear us apart again. Agreed?"

"Agreed. Friends to the end and all that bullshit," says Kenny, grinning madly.

We end up in a group hug which I hear Cartman groaning about. I ignore him and smile, loving how everything's going to be okay from now on.

I'm so glad I have Stan and Kenny back. They're such great friends and I can't afford to lose them again. I swear to stick by that promise to always be friends. I'll never lose them.

And Cartman is finally mine after such a long time of wanting him. I love him and need him in my life. I'll never let him go.

Cartman, along with Stan and Kenny, mean the absolute world to me. I can't live without them. I really can't. I guess, after such a long time, I've finally realised that they're all that matters to me.

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_I hope you guys liked this chapter. But, if you didn't, that's fine too. Please review, whether you liked it or not. Constructive criticism is always welcome. _

_By the way, I really am sorry for the long wait. I'm just such a lazy shit and this chapter was causing me problems. I just couldn't make it work. I'm actually unsure if I'm still entirely happy with it but anyway._

_One more chapter to go! xxx_


	18. Chapter 18

"Kyle, I need to talk to you."

Just after we get over the cheesy group hug in the cafeteria and Cartman yells at everyone to stop staring at us, my best friend speaks. His tone is serious and I find myself suddenly nervous, my fleeting joy fading quickly.

"Sure, Stan. Is everything okay?"

He takes hold of my arm and pulls me away, heading out of the cafeteria. Cartman grabs my other arm and pulls me back towards him suddenly, a questioning frown on his face as he looks at Stan.

"Listen, Cartman, Kyle and I just need to talk for a second. Okay? Can you last five minutes without him?"

Stan's voice is slightly harsh and I noticeably wince. Cartman releases my arm and continues to frown at Stan for a couple of seconds before turning away, going to find a table with Kenny.

I head outside with Stan, trying to get my head around how the mood between us has suddenly changed so drastically in such a short space of time. Stan stops on the corridor, a good few yards away from the cafeteria. I can hear the chatter from inside, but we're completely alone out here.

"Is everything okay, Stan?" I ask, noticing the nervous expression on his face.

He stares at the ground and doesn't speak for a few moments, a deep frown on his face, as if trying to think of how to put his thoughts into words. I feel suddenly concerned. I just got my best friend back. Why is he not smiling and being carefree? Is there a chance I'm going to lose him again for whatever reason?

"Kyle, I did it."

The long-lasting silence and my deep thoughts cause me to jump when he finally speaks. It takes me a few seconds for his words to sink in and, even when they do, I don't understand them.

"I… What? Did what, Stan?"

"The rumour. About you being gay. I did it, Kyle. I started it. And I'm_ so _sorry. I've never felt sorrier in my life and I should have told you. But I couldn't. I knew how much it affected you. I could see how hurt you were feeling and I didn't want you to know that I was the one who caused it. I really am sorry, Kyle."

His eyes meet mine as he says my name. I stare at him in shock, not expecting that at all. In the last few minutes of joy and redemption, I had completely forgotten about the rumour. It completely slipped my mind.

I stare at Stan for what seems like ages when in reality, it's only a minute or so. It takes me a while to form words.

"Stan, why would you start that?"

Stan's eyes suddenly widen and he speaks in a quick manner. "I hope you don't think I did it on purpose! Kyle, I never meant to hurt you. You're my best friend. What happened was, me and Wendy were talking. Wendy just happened to mention that she's never seen you in a relationship before. Then… well, I kind of told her that I think you might be gay since you never seem to take an interest in girls whenever me or Ken talk about them. She told Bebe and I guess it spread from there."

"So, in actual fact, Bebe started the rumour around the school. Not you," I say, feeling slightly relieved.

Stan shrugs. "I guess so, but I still blame myself. Kyle, I'm so-"

I shut him up with a sudden hug, causing him to gasp in surprise. He hesitates before wrapping his arms around me, returning the hug. I release him before it gets too awkward and smile at him in reassurance.

"Stan, don't worry about it, okay? We're best friends, no matter what. I forgive you. Let's just forget about it and never bring it up again, alright?"Stan suddenly smiles and nods. "Alright."

"Besides," I begin, a thought suddenly occurring to me. "If you hadn't started that rumour, Stan, I don't think Cartman and I would be together right now. We'd probably still be as we were, supposedly enemies, constantly ripping on each other, hating each other in our own way. I don't think there'd have been a chance that we would have ended up together. So, I guess I should really be thanking you. Thanks, Stan!"

I give him another quick hug and have to laugh at his bewildered expression. "So," he begins, "you're thanking me for almost ruining your life? That's fucked up, dude."

We burst into fits of laughter and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Everything is fine now. I've got Stan and Kenny back. Cartman is mine. I suddenly don't think South Park is as messed up as I once thought it was. Well, okay, that's a lie. South Park is the most fucked-up town in existence. But honestly, I'd rather be here than anywhere else in the world.

As we re-enter the cafeteria and head towards our table, I have to grin when I see Cartman and Kenny arguing over something insignificant and pointless.

"Kenny, Terrance and Phillip will _always _be hotter than Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis! Any retard could see that!"

"That's because you're fucking gay, fatass! Of course you'd think that!"

"That's not the point, Kenny! Even if I was fucking straight, I'd _still _say Terrance and Phillip are hotter than those hoes. Right, Kahl?" He glances up as I approach the table.

I take a seat next to him, smiling while doing so, and press a firm kiss on his lips, causing him to break into a smile immediately. "Of course, Cartman. Of course."

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THE END.

_So, this fanfic is finally finished. I can't believe it. I really loved writing it._

_I really hope you guys enjoyed it. Please leave a review, telling me your honest opinion. And if you have any advice on how to improve my writing, that is also welcome._

_Thank you so much to every single person who has read, reviewed, followed and favorited this story. It means so much to me. You have no idea. Thank you so much, guys. You're all amazing. Xxxxx_

_Also, have a great Christmas! =D_


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